When do you stop buying loads of presents for the kids?

smartpicture

In my family, the kids get a big bag full of presents from santa / mum & dad - only one 'expensive' present, but a bagful of stuff to open on the day. Everyone else in the family gets just one present. So when do I switch from one to the other?? My 'kids' are now 20 and 18, both still live at home (one at Uni, one at college). I suggested maybe it was time to stop having a bagful of presents, and just get one expensive one - the money's not really the problem, it's more the time & effort required, especially as each present is traditionally individually wrapped! DD2 says that's not fair because DD1 will have had a big bag for 2 years longer, but it doesn't seem fair for DD1 to sit and watch her sister open loads of presents either - but by that argument, it's never going to stop!

When I was growing up, my sister and I both left home at 18 and started our own families quite young so it naturally stopped at that point - although my much younger brother still got a big bag until he married at the age of 38, which tbh did rankle a bit lol. I don't envisage either of mine leaving home for quite some years to come, so I was just wondering what the cut-off point is in other families? Or do you do it completely differently?

flutterbyuk25

Gosh my parents stopped the big bag of presents thing when I was about 13!! I then got big present (or money towards something specific) and a stocking with maybe one poundshop present, satsuma and chocolate coins!!

Have you bought the bag of presents for this year yet? If so give them out as normal and then mention (at a later date) to your DD's that it was the last time you will be doing this as they are both grown ups now.

HTH

x

mumcoll

After Christmas last year it dawned on me that I was buying my three grown up 'children' lots of presents and getting one from each of them. I know you don't give to recieve etc. but the principle seemed wrong and the eldes two earn far more than we do. As you say, it was more about the time and effort involved. Anyway, this year I have told them they will have a few stocking fillers (smellies, socks etc.) and £50. They did sort of look a bit put out but that's what I've done and feel much better about Christmas alltogether. My mum stopped buying us loads when we left home. Mine are aged 31, 28 and 24 and all have partners who buy them stuff too!

pinkshoes

Just get DD2 a Santa sack.

Perhaps serve their Christmas Champagne in a toppy tippy cup too, for being so childish about the whole thing!

csh_2

mumcoll wrote: »

After Christmas last year it dawned on me that I was buying my three grown up 'children' lots of presents and getting one from each of them. I know you don't give to recieve etc. but the principle seemed wrong and the eldes two earn far more than we do. As you say, it was more about the time and effort involved. Anyway, this year I have told them they will have a few stocking fillers (smellies, socks etc.) and £50. They did sort of look a bit put out but that's what I've done and feel much better about Christmas alltogether. My mum stopped buying us loads when we left home. Mine are aged 31, 28 and 24 and all have partners who buy them stuff too!

Think highlighted sentence is the key here! I'll still buy lots as long as they're at home, when they go it'll be 1 'big' gift and 2 or 3 small bits

dieselhead

I think our presents just dropped off over time, it was sort of a natural progression, we now get one 'big present' probably around £40-50 and a few cheapish practical ones, a diary, calender, some socks etc. This year I know my parents are a bit strapped for cash, so I suspect the 'big present' will be more like £10-15.

smartpicture

pinkshoes wrote: »

Perhaps serve their Christmas Champagne in a toppy tippy cup too, for being so childish about the whole thing!

Christmas Champagne??! Just goes to show that every family does things differently, lol.

pinkshoes wrote: »

Mine are aged 31, 28 and 24

Crikey, you're worse than I am!! One thing I was considering was maybe stopping at the point that they get a full-time job, as obviously they don't have a lot of money as students. A lot of the presents are practical things like underwear or pyjamas that they would have to buy themselves otherwise out of their part-time jobs.

It's interesting to hear other viewpoints though.

ailuro2

Our DD is 11 and doesn't get a big bag of presents.:eek:

Show them this thread, and tell them they'll get one nice big present each, some cash in a card if you must, but insist that the time you would normally spend on wrapping little everyday items like pants will this year be spent helping someone who could use your assistance - whether that's babysitting while a friend with young kids does a bit of Christmas shopping, or visiting an elderly neighbour with some hot soup, none of them can argue that you aren't doing something better with your time than spoiling them rotten.;)

as for saying one will have two years more of a santa sack than others, tell them you brought them up better than that and don't want to hear such selfish children, any more and you'll phone the elves and get them put on the naughty list.:rotfl:

Aileen_Una

Don't worry it is fair for DD1 to have less, I'm a DD1 and the same thing is happening this Christmas, and I'm fine with it!

mumcoll

My 28 year old only moved out this year and the 24 year old still lives at home. As that would have left the 31 year old the only one with less presents I couldn't bring myself to leave him out (I know, I know!!!) Anyway, I told them after last Christmas that was the last year, so they have had the whole year to get used to it!

claireac

I stopped when they were 18. It's ds2's first Christmas of not getting so much, I'm sure he'll get over it! Now he has a pt job (at college also) I think he's finally starting to appreciate how expensive everything is lol.

I also have a dd aged 3 and sd aged 11 - it's all about the kids for us!