Copy Cat Neighbour

pinkpauline34

I am beginning to get very twitchy about my next door neighbour who is acting most strangely. I bought my property last February and my boundary fence was very low and every time I stuck my nose out of the door, out she'd pop and tell me all about what she had been buying and how much it had cost! I shrugged it off but decided to get a 6ft high fence put up as I do value my privacy.

However, over the last couple of months, I am beginning to feel very uneasy. Everything I put out on the washing line, you can guarantee a couple of days later she will put out exactly the same item, e.g. Ikea seat covers, cushion covers and she's now even started dressing like me (although she's in her 50's and I'm in my 30's). If I buy a plant for my garden, she will buy the same plant for her garden. If I paint my shed, she will paint her's - I'm sure you get the picture now. I honestly thought I was being paranoid until last week. I had a large area of my patio decked with a small fence built around my decking (for added privacy). Another neighbour commented on it so I invited her into my garden to have a look - she told me that our neighbour would be incredibly jealous and she asked me if I realised that I was being copied. I was relieved to hear it wasn't my imagination but unfortunately, matters now seem to be escalating. I have now had decomposed mice thrown onto my decking, rocks thrown at my solar lights and the other evening, my daughter witnessed her climbing up and photographing my garden. Unfortunately, as I hadn't seen her doing it myself, I was reluctant to challenge her. I wouldn't dream of retaliating as I'm not that childish but even if I wanted to I couldn't as she's made it well known to everyone that she has CCTV in operation in her garden!

It is really freaking me out as I am worried about what on earth she will do next. I am a single parent with 2 girls so don't have anyone here to back me up if matters escalate. Can anyone offer any advice as to what I can do? Is it worthwhile having CCTV installed?

I know I should be flattered that she thinks my taste is so wonderful that she feels she has to copy but it is really freaking me out. That aside, my main worry is the likely damage she might do to my property or, God forbid, one of my children if a big stone comes flying over the fence.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

bumpybecky

Well if it were me I'd order some brochures for adventure holidays, you know the white water rafting, bungee jumping, base jumping type activities, or maybe long haul treks accoss Mongolia - anything dangerous and far far away!

Then can they be accidentally delivered next door?

hopefully she's copy that idea too

Murtle

Have you tried talking to her? Maybe she is lonely, maybe she is weird. If the former, maybe by befriending her you can guide her to different tastes to you. If that fails, get your own CCTV camera - or just tell you have it and hope it works as a deterrent

Good luck

jockettuk

if she has got cctv she has to advertise the fact and you should be able to see the camera.. if things keep coming over the fence talk loudly that you might have to ask the neighbour to look at her cctv film to see why these things happenings.. make her think you know but dont know its her so to speak.. i would order a load of items that can be seen to be delivered and then send them back as returns, but dont let her see that bit lol..

she sounds lonely but it can spook you out..

good luck

homersimpson_3

have now had decomposed mice thrown onto my decking, rocks thrown at my solar lights and the other evening, my daughter witnessed her climbing up and photographing my garden.

You don't know for sure your neighbour was the one who threw the decomposed mice on your decking or threw the stones at your solar lights. all your daughter has seen her doing is photographing your garden. Innocence until proven guilty or until you have evidence to contrary. Have any other neighbours had things thrown into their gardens?
report damage to garden to police in any event. if there are later problems recorded history of events. why don't you just tell neighbour you have reported matter to police and ask her whether she has seen anything or experiencing similiar problems. don't accuse her or suggests she is doing it. fact police are involved should be enough (if it was her?)
So what if she has CCTV in her garden? There may be a good reason for it- her house may have been burguled before you came to live in area- she may feel nervous and think it is a way of protecting her property.
She sounds insecure and possibly lonely- does she live alone? has visitors?. if you see her comment on how nice her garden is - if she thinks others like her own taste she may feel less inclined to follow yours.

Dead_Eye_Jones

lol @ bumpybecky - quality idea!



It sounds a bit dodgy doesnt it, maybe she has mental health/isolation issues, does she have a childlike mental age perhaps?

It sounds like she looks up to you, in some ways you might be flattered but ultimitely Id be a bit freaked.

You'll have to move .

emma_b_4

maybe put up a camera in your garden to establish who is throwing in the dead mice, or gte one of those 'pretend' camera they are cheaper and can act as a detterent. i would say to the neighbour have you seen any1 throwin them in as im really upset and then just get into conversation how you like your privacy etc.

as far as copying i would leave her to it, even though its wierd its not causing any real harm, or maybe do something daft to see how far she will go at copying??!!

or invite some mates round and talk loudly in the garden about the copying to embarass her (although mite b a bit evil!)

or ask for her opinion on things like garden furniture and say how you have noticed you have the same tastes...

or write her a letter telling her to bog off and get a life ?!

pinkpauline34

Thanks all for your replies.

This woman is in her 50's, married with 2 grown up daughters (although one of them still lives at home). Her husband gives me the impression of being very wimpy and she certainly wears the trousers - her daughter is very peculiar too - she is in her 20's and I couldn't tell you what she looks like as I've only ever seen the top of her head (she looks at the ground if she sees anyone).

I know for sure it was her that threw the stone at my lights because of the way the light had been hit and the position of the stone - it could only have come from the left hand side (which is where she lives). The same goes for the position of the decomposed mouse - my neighbour to the right was on holiday at the time so it wasn't her.

She works part time but they don't seem to have any friends as no one ever comes to visit - I totally agree that she probably is lonely and I am beginning to think she may have mental health problems but she needs to get a life, pdq!

I have spoken to the police about her photographing my garden but as there was no one in the garden at the time, they can't do anything about it except refer me to a solicitor (and frankly, what can a solicitor do).

I have spoken with a neighbour today and it appears that this weirdo has fallen out with every neighbour in the area - she was apparently at war with the people who lived in my property before me. As far as her CCTV is concerned, she doesn't have any warning that it is in operation but I can see it from my property. This neighbour told me that she previously copied everything that she did but she now seems to have switched her attention to me so I'm not the only one who has suffered!

Today, I've just bought a sunlounger so no doubt she'll be out buying the same one this evening ..................

Thanks Guys for your replies - it reassures me that I'm not losing my mind!

xx

emma_b_4

just try to rise above it an she will soon get bored or move on..or both

hjb123

I would keep notes of anything that occurs and when it does. It probably would be worthwhile getting CCTV - you can get cameras like this really cheap at B&Q and places like that

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Why not have a word with a community safety officer (not sure if that's the right name - they work with the police, patrol, deal with minor problems). They will be able to record your concerns and possible give you some advice.
Your neighbour sounds seriously freaky, and has a history of anti-social behaviour.
Your vendor should have disclosed their problems with the neighbour - did they?