Getting down to business! :)

Lemon_Tree

sorry to hear your news, hope you and kids have a lovely christmas despite what has happened.
I've probably missed it but what OU course are you doing?

SarahNeedle1872

Sorry to hear your news Sea, hope it doesn't put a dampener on your Christmas. I agree with the others about staying out of the situation, you have done such a great job giving up alcohol, and even though you are a lot stronger, it might be a 'risk' to the work you've done for yourself. Hope you and the kids have a great Christmas

Sx

Sea78

Hi all

Thank you so much for all the support. I'm feeling good today - he's been drinking now for a week, with no sign of stopping and all I can do is pray for him that he makes it back before he dies BUT I can no longer do anything about it, it's his issue and not mine.

My OU course is Arts, past and present (AA100). My course books arrived the other day - so exciting - doing the course just for me, for noone else and I'm really looking forward to giving it a good go. I don't know where it'll take me or what I'll do after this course, but it feels good to be doing something like this.

GOt two little trees up - and pressies underneath, beginning to feel christmassy. The kids are over the moon at the christmas telly on already lol - although I'm trying ot get them outside occasionally! Just got to wrap last few presents and stockings stuff and I'm done.

Today I need to tackle my bedroom though - it's just piles of clean clothes waiting to be put away now. The kitchen, dining room and sitting room are looking ok for now. I'd like to make some banana bread as got several manky looking bananas to us up! Need to defrost some lamb too - think I'll make scouse when it's done.

Not been to the docs yet - my meds are helping a lot again now they're back to what they were. Will attempt to make an appointment, but who knows when I'll get that!

My mum is coming over on Christmas Eve - I'm going to an AA meeting then which will be great as not been to one in over a week now. Got my AA friends though of course, who come round for cuppas and that.

Need to parcel up everything that needs to be sent before Christmas today and also sort the cards - wrote them back in November, but of course, they are still sat there waiting!!

Now bf is not bf anymore, I'll be on my own on xmas day when kids go to their dads and mum goes home to have christmas lunch with her friends. But not bad, I can have a lovely bath, read my new christmas books and then get ready for my aa meeting in the evening.

All good then

Hope everyone is feeling good on this cold wintery day!!

Love Sea xxxxxx

Sea78

oh crap.

He's just rung. He's put the drink down. Got to stay strong.

elantan

sea you are strong ...a very strong woman that has came through alot with wonderful kids to keep you busy... i dont always post but i do try to read as much as i can ...and i know you are doing extrememly well ...where were you this time last year?

am proud of ya hunny

EssexHebridean

Sea78 wrote: »

oh crap.

He's just rung. He's put the drink down. Got to stay strong.

That's an interesting post Sea. Remember, if it's going to take too much for you to be strong for you AND him right now, there is another option, and that is to say "Sorry, but I can't cope with this until I'm further on myself - we need to be apart for a while right now" - you only have responsibility for yourself and your kids - nobody else. It's up to adults to take responsibility for themselves and you shouldn't feel guilty or under any sort of obligation to take on responsibility for keeping him on the straight and narrow too. Maybe time to analyse feelings a bit and decide where you want to go from here? xxx

taxi73

I totally agree with the above post..please just consider what YOU want and can cope with.Keep strong.

Sea78

Well, he came the night before last and has been going to meetings yesterday adn is atone now. I've told him he'll just have to fit in with what the family is doing. Sound like a sap I know. I know I can't fix him, Ijust couldn't let him not come over and especially at christmas time. I do love him, wish I didn't in a way as then I wouldn't put myself ina position to be hurt again and the children too. He says it won't happen again blah blah. But this was all said before. Going to take a while to build up trust again, that's for sure. Oh I don't know. Day at a time for now.

Great snow at the moment for the kids, little concerned that if it doesn't clear by thursday that my mum might not be able to get here but I'm sure it'll all work out.

Hope everyone is doing well.

Sea xxx

Sea78

Just had a big of a shout at from one of my friends from aa. I can see her point, they'v all given me support and now I've taken bf back again. Think that friendship might be rather strained from now on I do think it was the right decision, and things like this put me off going to the meetings, but I know it's my fault. If it happens again, I'm just going to get on with my life - can't expect support and am praying it doesn't.

jo1972

Hiya Sea,

I was just stopping on by to give you a wave and wish you a fantastic xmas but had a read back and seen what's been going on. My heart goes out to you, I understand your situation, you must feel like you are stuck in the middle at the moment. Remember a few months back and what was going on, you are still in recovery and can not afford to go back there, so stay strong, keep your AA friends close and us here on the boards for support.

Take care hunny xx