Missing my dad

snapping_crocodile

My lovely dad suddenly passed away 5 months ago. Just remembering tonight how it was about this time every year I would phone him up and remind him it's my birthday in a couple of weeks, even though I'm nearly 27! It was like a silly tradition, I'd remind him and he would play dumb and pretend he hadn't remembered ....and despite my age, he still always called me littl'un, as I'm the baby of the family

greenhill

I'm just off to bed but sending you a hug. You can still tell him in your head.
Take care
Tina x

SimonJB

Heart goes out to you. Can you find a song on TouTube that reminds you of your Dad?

Sue-UU

greenhill wrote: »

I'm just off to bed but sending you a hug. You can still tell him in your head.
Take care
Tina x

Hi Tina, my heart really does go out to you as 5 months is only a very short amount of time and obviously you're still in grief. As 'greenhill' says though, you can still talk to him and I'm sure that as the youngest 'his littl'un' he'll be listening to all you have to say and still wish to fill your day with as much love as is possible for him to.

If you feel like crying, then do so and just let the tears flow for as long as you need to. It'll take about 2 - 3 years for you to grieve fully for his loss, then you'll gradually get more used to missing him. Cherish him as your much-loved Dad and always treasure all the wonderful times you shared and hang on to all those memories he's bequeathed to you. Have a day (and evening depending on what you do with 'your' day) viewing photos of the family, laughing and quite possibly crying at treasured moments brought to mind. If you have video of him or you both then watch it and 'bring him to life' far more. That way any words you want to say will come out far easier and you can either think them or say them out loud. If you have any other loved ones then share thoughts and memories of him with them as they too will still be grieving for him.

All very best wishes Tina, be brave but not too brave. I'm sending big hugs for you.

Sue x

mazza111

I know how u feel hon, I lost my dear old dad in 2005. It does get easier, but even now if I hear a certain song on radio or tv, it's enough to set me off. Tears are good, let them flow. (((hugs)))

jess1974

I lost my dad nearly 10 years ago when i was 26, i loved him sooo much, a kind gentle decent man, like others have said it does get easier, the raw pain eventually fades, but you are left with a sadness and ache that never goes away xxxxx

brokeworkaholic

I would find writing a letter to him helpful, that way you might feel like you have told him your news & kept the tradition of reminding him about your birthday.

Just an idea - Hope I haven't upset you.

jennihen

I don.'t think you ever get over losing a loved one but, over time , the rawness is replaced by an acceptance. You will find comfort in the memories and a closeness to him. Have you got special photos close to hand or somthing personnal of his to keep in your purse?
My dad died when I was 7 and it was the start of our family breaking down.
My son was born on his birthday (no where near his due date) and he is the spitting image of him. I always felt this was a gift from my dad.
Recently we had a really tough time and my two sisters and I had to deal with an awful lot of stuff which we weren't prepared for. My oldest sister said "What would Daddy have done?" and we just went from strength to strength, together.
I don't feel sad when I think about him - I think he would be very proud of us all.
Can you talk to the rest of your family? Prehaps you could all get together and make a tradition of remembering his birthday together. It doesn'thave to be a sad occasasion.
I'm sending you a big hug
JH

snapping_crocodile

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts xx

katebl

Hi hope you're feeling better today, I lost my dad - unexpectedly - 3 months ago and am a little younger than you, I find listening to his voicemail or having a photo to get out helps if you can't talk to anyone. It's the little things that cause the most upset I find, just like you seem to. (I was his poppet!) Have a good day.

notsayingaword

It's true that time is a great healer and soon you will be able to think about him without feeling upset all the time. My dad died 14 years ago, a month after I found out I was pregnant with my oldest son. He knew about the pregnancy and was so happy for me but I was sad that he never got to meet my son. I got married two months ago and was sad that he wasn't around to see it. In some of my wedding photos I look miserable and even my mum commented that I wasn't smiling, but those are the ones where I'm thinking about my dad.