what do i write in a sympathy card?

i_wanna_save_money!

Hi All
I have found out my ex boyfriend's dad has died so I am going round today to see ex boyfriends mum to give her a bit of support and I am going to get a sympathy card for her and the family. The thing is - I don't know what to write. He died after being diagnosed with cancer last year and he was in his early eighties when he died. Any suggestions on what to write or a site to look on ?

Thank you

jonnym

I would normally put something like "Thinking of you at this difficult time" or "My thoughts and/or prayers are with you"

less is more in the case of sympathy cards, IMO

i_wanna_save_money!

Thanks Jonnym

I have never wrote a symapthy card before and I didn't want to say the wrong thing.

Anniek1969

To be honest when you're the recipient of the card you don't really take in what is written at that time, I know I didn't when my parents died. When I write one I always just put Our thoughts and prayers are with you at this very sad time.

I think you going to see her will mean more than anything you can write in the card so don't worry too much about what you write.

AnnieH

I would say don't state the obvious. His wife obviously knows all the ins and outs of the illness her husband suffered.

I agree with others and say just go for somethign generic like My thoughts are with you at this sad time.

All the best x

Dora_the_Explorer_5

The card that meant most to me when my mum died earlier this year said

'Your mum was a lovely person - I'll be thinking about her, and you. Love xxx"

I had loads which said "My/our thoughts and prayers are with you" - which
seemed very impersonal. HTH

garret1

I agree that you should try to write something nice about the man...and be honest about your struggle with what to say...
"I know there is nothing I can say at this time but **** was alovely man and will be missed, thinking of you all"

Penny-Pincher!!

Anything from your heart hun.

Its so difficult knowing what to say and what not to say when sending a sympathy card. I normally put something like "thinking of you at this particular difficult time".

Hugs hun....are you ok?

PP
xx

Trollydolly_2

ive unfortunatly had to write a few this year and recieved some aswell.

I found it was much nicer to recieve ones that talk about things you remeber about the person, good times you shared etc.

Infact i dont write cards anymore i write a letter.

I include a little notebook for the person to write anything they want in. I had one when my grandad died and told him all the things i never got chance to, and now write little letters to him in it with news he would have wanted to know, like my sister being pregnant or the next door neighbours new car lol

Ive done the letter /notebook thing a few times and always got a very emotional but thankful responce. I always wanted to talk about my grandad and nobody else knew what to say, so i think funny little stories and stuff make the person feel like the deceesed wont just be forgotten.

So id say dont write a card write a letter

TD xx

VickyA_2

Trollydolly wrote:

Infact i dont write cards anymore i write a letter.

So do I. You don't have to say much at all, but it seems so more personal. My grandpa died just over a month ago and my mum (his only child) received mostly letters of condolence. It was lovely to read the happy times that people remembered of him. They weren't so much letters of mourning, but letters of remembrance.

It also saves you from trying to look for a suitable sympathy card.

twink

my mum died when i was two and it was really lovely for me when i was older to read all the letters of condolence my father and gran had got it was nice to read what others thought of her, i remember i was in bed reading them in winter and got such a scare when the snow on the roof slid off with a roar