Access and Paternity Testing

Strangefrontier

Thank you all so much for your kind words and support.

In response to a few queries that you had:

Susan Frost wrote:
"Not quite clear what you are saying about access. You seem to be saying that you are trying to get him to take parental responsibility - but on the other hand indicating that you dont want him to have access as he is not very capable around your son."

To be totally honest, my head is all over the place and i am not quite sure what i want . . . other than the best for my son.
While my head says that our son should still have access to his dad, my heart says that i fear for his safety. Logically speaking, all children have accidents and bumps, but i am sure that (as most parents would agree), it would only be natural for me to query any accidents that he may have and to assume that the accident was perhaps more sinister than what it actually was!
On those grounds, i would rather he not have any access . . . . or as several of you have suggested - supervised visits!

Yes, he said that he will pay for the test . . . though he hasn't been in touch or made any arrangements as yet!

mummy_Jay:
Thank you for your advice too. I had been in touch with my HV before we seperated and she was really supportive and helpful. I'll give her a call, thanks.

The supervised visits are also a good idea (and would put my mind at rest, whilst still allowing my husband to spend time with his son) . . . . although i should imagine that he will be totally against them. It's worth suggesting it though and/or having it as an option.

Thank you all again so much. It really does mean a lot to me.

PS: Message from my son . . . . .

nhybkyb 9/ 5b y7uihkjf - i think it means "Thank you" :T

Strangefrontier

Hiya All,

Not sure how many of you will come back to this thread, but i just thought that i would Thank You all again for your kind words and support, and to also give you a brief update on what the Solicitor said!

I spoke to my Health Visitor about my sons behaviour following his current visits and she agrees that it's a combination between the lack of bond he has and being made to sleep in a pushchair - something that she didn't condone! She suggested 'Supervised Visits herself!

Solicitor: Based on the fact that he wants a DNA Test doing, she has advised that he has 'No' contact until the results come back - so i am just waiting for him to get in touch with me about this.

Following on from that, i have requested that he has regular, shorter 'Supervised Visits', which she is in agreement with.

Many thanks again. Hope you are all well?!

:T

bestpud

Strangefrontier wrote: »

Hiya All,

Not sure how many of you will come back to this thread, but i just thought that i would Thank You all again for your kind words and support, and to also give you a brief update on what the Solicitor said!

I spoke to my Health Visitor about my sons behaviour following his current visits and she agrees that it's a combination between the lack of bond he has and being made to sleep in a pushchair - something that she didn't condone! She suggested 'Supervised Visits herself!

Solicitor: Based on the fact that he wants a DNA Test doing, she has advised that he has 'No' contact until the results come back - so i am just waiting for him to get in touch with me about this.

Following on from that, i have requested that he has regular, shorter 'Supervised Visits', which she is in agreement with.

Many thanks again. Hope you are all well?!

:T

Glad you are getting somewhere - you seem well shot of him tbh.

Do remember to record every contact he makes with you.

I know someone who was reported to the police by her ex recently, for obstructing access, but it was soon sorted when she showed the police officer the abusive texts he'd sent that week, and in particular the one saying he didn't want the children that weekend!!! :rolleyes:

Why do some parent insist on messing their children around to get back at their ex?

mummy_Jay

Strangefrontier wrote: »

Hiya All,


Solicitor: Based on the fact that he wants a DNA Test doing, she has advised that he has 'No' contact until the results come back - so i am just waiting for him to get in touch with me about this.

:T

I hope that means you get to enjoy the run up to xmas.

Paparika

your ex sounds the perfect candidate to be on the Jeremy Klye show the way he is behaving, love to see him humiliated see how he feels