No gift for OH anyone else?

pretzelnut

becs wrote: »

I've just read this thread and I'm currently really struggling with this. DH and I have been married 2 and a half years. He's never really been into Christmas as not really had family around. (his mum died when he was 4 and his grandparents when he was a teenagager) His dad has always done christmas with his new partner at her uncles so DH never wanted to go. I suppose being a bloke they're not worried about it all and was used to spending the day on his own. I on the other hand adore Christmas, all the traditions, big family get togethers and just spending quality time with each other.
Whilst the present thing doesn't really bother me as such I just feel the day itself might not be as special and become more ordinary if that makes sense? DH is impossible to buy for and I do end up buying things like clothes becaue that's all he wants but I feel it's such a cop out. We could happily give up the presents if I knew the day would be no less special but I think with DH it is more apathy than anything that would prevent the pressies.

Maybe christmas just holds to many bad memories or not enough good ones for your DH so he tries to treat it like a normal day hoping it will pass just like any other day.

Plus he's a man and men have to be dragged kicking and screaming into the festive spirit.

If clothes is what he asks for thats not a cop-out, they get used, no point wasting money on something else.

One of my ex's doesnt do christmas and never did even when i was with him, now he books a hotel in lakes for a week and goes walking on his own cos he hasnt met anyone else who equally hates christmas, hoping that nothing christmas related ever crosses his path.

Oldernotwiser

becs wrote: »

Whilst the present thing doesn't really bother me as such I just feel the day itself might not be as special and become more ordinary if that makes sense? DH is impossible to buy for and I do end up buying things like clothes becaue that's all he wants but I feel it's such a cop out. We could happily give up the presents if I knew the day would be no less special but I think with DH it is more apathy than anything that would prevent the pressies.

But it's not really presents that makes a day special, is it? Not unless you're five years old and it's your birthday!

becs

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

But it's not really presents that makes a day special, is it? Not unless you're five years old and it's your birthday!

No it's not, and if I thought DH would make the effort to make the day special without presents then I would agree. I do think however if I were to say lets not do presents then he would take that as an excuse to do nothing at all. I already feel things like our anniversary just happen with no thought. I would happily give up the pressies if I thought he could make the day special but I don't think he would.
I don't think he has bad memories of Christmas just that he's never bothered about it since his grandmother died when he 16, I think as I said it's apathy and laziness. At the moment I feel if I let the present thing go then I just don't think the day would be special because he would make no effort to make it different.

mary-op

When I first met OH he hadn't been in the town long so didn't know anyone. First year I got a pillow case and did a felt father christmas on it (I'd done snowmen on the ones my kids had) and filled it with all sorts of nonsense............the 'traditional' socks, old Beano comics, deodorant, puzzles and games........all daft sort of things..............he loved it. Without it he'd have had nothing. I borrowed the key to the house he shared and left it under the tree for him to find when he got in from work (he was a chef so worked late christmas time).
Following year I filled a box with polystyrene balls (local shops only too glad to get rid of them) and did much the same.........all bits of nonsense, Desparate Dan talc, stuff like that, then right at the bottom I put a silver chain.
My kids and him used to open their 'goodies' together. I couldn't afford much for my kids at the time but for them it was the fun of opening something............still is even though theyre grown up now.

Friend of mine few years ago set her partner a challenge and with just a pound they had to see who could get the most............she bought 1 brillo pad I seem to remember, 1 pencil...........all silly little things like that. The one who had the most was the winner...........no prize, just a bit of fun that had cost them two pounds. Just goes to show what can be done with a little thought.

Like the idea of the box - be good idea to set a specific number of items to be bought...........my friend and me limit it to ten items (all have to be charity shop finds)and every tag has to have a clue whats inside -we even have a challenge on which one of us could buy the naffest thing................lol

soon2bjobless

Me and oh have a £10 limit and have to buy the naffest most useless thing we can find for each other- this year I have got him an awful Xmas sweater from a charity shop (really bad and probably too small which just adds to the fun!) and a dancing Elvis for his car.

Last year he gave me the most gawd awful bling necklace and matching earrings which I intend to wear every Xmas!

MrsTinks

This year (thank goodness he doesn't read MSE lol) he's getting some framed pictures of our daughter and maybe a little digital frame keyring with pictures of her on it If I can find a decent one cheaply... but that will be "from" her to daddy
Mommy and daddy are buying eachother a video camera because our parents all live abroad and we'd love to send them more videos of her through the year etc so they can keep up with how she's doing
Also planning on buying him a scrabble game as we want to try and have an evening a week with no TV etc just adult time and we both enjoy word games.
But the sad thing is... there is nothing I want for christmas (nor my birthday 3 weeks before hand...) so the poor chap will have his work cut out for him to find anything I need/want.

Maybe I need some new boots? hmmm Odd as when I was a kid I had NO problems filling a wishlist :rotfl:

MrsTinks

Ooo just remembered - I'm going to head into the local old fashioned sweet shop that opened recently... If it's not too extortionate he's getting a box of old world sweets and the multi compartment box he'll use for his fishing gear anyway so won't be wasted money

nikki2804

Me and my OH set a limit (this year was £100) but its our first year in our new house with the baby. Its the only time of the year that we get 'big' treats. But I can honestly say that because I am on a budget that I have thought so carefully about what I have bought, and I have managed to get so much for him. (a new xbox game, a used one that he wanted, aftershave, etc) but we wont buy things like this throughout the year. If that makes sense.

mumslave

we dont tend to buy each other gifts now. We have three children and one on the way, there are more important things for our money to go on. However we try to do nice things on special days, such as an extra lie in, a run bath, a cup of coffee, cook favourite meal...there are other 'gifts' that dont cost anything but a little effort

huxley

dh and I dont buy each other presents, we have a small stocking with diary, choclate coins and little fun bits no more than £10 we sometmes save to buy something for the home but have found over the years its more about making memories with the family than the gifts. Children (25yrs,24yrs,19yrs!not children realy but always will be to me:D) have been pestering us as to what we want all we came up with is a trailor load of manure for the allotment and a promise of help to dig it in and they are not allowed to wrap any of it up for under the tree!