One man, two babies, two women!

SaintlyLinda

Ok, so, my ex partner and father of my 18mnt old child has announced today that he had a one night stand with a girl back in March, resulting in a baby being due today.

He is unsure of whether this new baby is his as the dates dont match very well, and he'd had a vasectomy 6 weeks previous (but not had the check up test). He's reluctant to ask the girl for a DNA test but does want one, and is prepared to support the child if it is his (hes a good dad to my child).

Questions id like comments / help on.

Can I request a DNA test for him -as a new child will affect the maintenance i recieve (quite frankly i dont mind one way or the other, requesting this would be so that he could request a dna test without hurting the new mums feelings)

Can she refuse to give him a DNA test?

karenx

If he refuses to being the dad to csa they will request a dna test be done if the mother still says he is the dad! He will get given an appointment to go to a local health centre to get a swab test done, and also for the mother to take the baby. It will not be done at same time so no need to worry there. The results get sent out and if proved he is the dad then they request his income details etc

SaintlyLinda

Thanks for that

For clarification, he will not refuse a DNA test, he is eagar to know whether the child is his or not, but I can kinda see how that might help - i.e he denies he is the father - which will result in her having to have a dna test done to prove whether he is - putting the ownership of the dna test on her.

shell_542

Having had a one night stand, it would be sensible for him to have a DNA test. It may well upset the Mother but he has to do what is right for him and the child. Having the CSA organise a DNA test is not not him denying he's the father, he is just disputing it as he isn't sure.

You can't request it for him. He would have to do it.. plus going through the CSA is cheaper than private if it confirms he is the father.

She cannot refuse but can be awkward/delay it but hopefully if she's certain he is the father, she won't delay it as it delays her payments.

SaintlyLinda

Thanks shell

Loopy_Girl

shell_542 wrote: »

She cannot refuse

Of course she can refuse but all that would happen would be that paternity could not be proven and she would more than likely lose a % of her benefit money (if she is going to be getting any of course, she may be on mat leave and then going back to work)

OP, the form your ex will be sent will ask whether he assumes paternity of the child. If he ticks 'no' then the PWC will be informed that there is a dispuite of paternity and a DNA test will need to be done. Rather than this being a bit of a shock, wI think it would be better for him to delicately broach the subject as it's not pleasant getting a call from the CSA stating there is a disputed parentage.

I also echo shell though....after a one night stand a DNA test is a must. The fact that he had the snip means nothing as he could still have had some live fellas swimming about....;)

speedster

as of 28/10/08 the pwc doesn't have to have csa involvement, so she wont lose out on any benefits by refusing a dna test.

Loopy_Girl

speedster wrote: »

as of 28/10/08 the pwc doesn't have to have csa involvement, so she wont lose out on any benefits by refusing a dna test.

You're right. I forgot about that.

Loopy_Girl

So if she refuses OP, then all that wil happen is that your ex will not really know of he is the father or not. Which would be a real shame for all concerned.

He doesn't have to come out with the 'is it mine?' line, he could more go along the lines of 'look, I know that the baby is mine but since we just has the one night of pash, and I'd like to be on the birth cert (assuming he does), then for my piece of mind I'd like a DNA test done....

I'm looking at it from a woman's point of view and trying to think of a 'decent' way to get round it bearing in mind that her hormones will be all over the place and particularly so when she has had the baby.

robpw2

welcome to the jeremy kyle show one man two babies one woman im sure they were discussing that most mornings

Loopy_Girl

Well you would know since you sit on your @rse on benefits and watch it every day don't you?


Not nice when people judge is it rob?