Is it time to ban Christmas presents? Blog and poll discussion

Penny_Farthing_2

One of my friends and I ageed to only buy gifts for birthdays/ Christmas when we see something we know the recipient would love.It's a great system as neither of us has stuff we don't like that ends up in landfill.

One hint to get people to stop buying presents as a 'duty' is this....

Get them a goat from Oxfam. Send the card to say what you've done and why - ie we don't have any idea what you might want or need. We did this for a relative we haven't seen in years (presents previously passed on via other family members) and we've heard nothing from them since!!! Yipee - though not maybe the intended purpose of the Oxfam scheme!:rotfl:

smartbear1

You are so right... only the other day a mate called me to ask if I was definitely sure I didnt want anything for Xmas this year. I released him from his obligation. He thinks its brilliant! I think its brilliant. One less to buy for this year. Hoping I can persuade my loved ones of the same. Although, if I do get anything it will be something they need and use. No unnecessary gifts. I must make ebay a tidy profit getting rid of all the socks and hankies in January.

If it truly is the thought that counts, then think first and if they say 'surprise me' do that and say I've reduced my debts by a fiver by not giving you a present - surprise!!!!:rotfl:If you must give something (cos families are awkward like that) take something for the dinner table and insist its opened and eaten.

PasturesNew

I'd ban them. In my experience, it's always the wealthier people that want it to not be stopped, calling the poor person tight.

salist

What no-one has pointed out is that even if you are religious Christmas does not necessarily correspond with the birth date of Jesus. A celebration at this time of year was a pagan festival to cheer people up in the dark mid winter days of the Northern hemisphere. It has been hijacked by Christians !!!

So the mad spending spree at this time is just a retail orgy.

mazg_2

I thought this item was great! I have a large family, 5 children of my own (the youngest of which is 16), 3 sisters, all of whom have husbands & children, then there's my dear old dad plus my partner's parents. My sister's & I stopped trading presents a couple of years ago as it was deemed expensive as the family was continually growing. Instead of giving presents someone suggested that all of us, including partners, children and our Dad went out for a meal somewhere, and all four of us sisters plus Dad would pay whatever we could afford to put towards it. It seemed a good idea, but in reality, I could never afford to pay much, but yet I had more children than anyone else so I felt bad, then there were the inevitable squabbles about where to eat as everyone had different tastes. So....this year I have declined which I feel hugely relieved about. I had suggested that we meet up in the summer for a family get together when everyone has more time etc instead of squeezing a meal inbetween everyone's other festive obligations (work do's, school plays etc) but was met with the response 'but it's Christmas!') We're not a close family and only see each other once or twice (if lucky) a year as we live in different parts of the country so I really don't understand why it HAS to be at Christmas.

Regarding my immediate family, my eldest 2 children don't live at home, but so far we've always had Christmas dinner with all 7 of us at home and enjoyed having a few drinks, good food (paid for with clubcard vouchers etc) and playing silly games, charades etc in the evening. We usually have such fun that some of the friends look forward to coming over in the evening too!
This is what Christmas is to us now, less emphasis on presents & more about spending time together and a holiday from work!

colourdreamer

I have not given the above for three years apart from immediate family and two close friends. Next year it will just be the grandchildren and to charity. I am disabled and can no longer write cards or wrap presents.

I and my teenage son have not had a tree or decorations for years either. I also have not had a tv for 12yrs...its bliss.

Listening to relaxing music and meditating shows me the true spirit of christmas.

Merry christmas to all.

cutiepie

I actually get stressed by receiving lots of presents unless it's something from a loved one who knows exactly what I want. I have so much clutter which stresses me out that instead of getting pleasure from presents, I worry about where I am going to put everything. I would far rather people would donate to a favourite charity, and money would go to a cause where it is really needed rather than a person having extra things, ie perfume, socks, CDs or whatever.

cobourg

We have decided that all adult family members put their names into a box with six items they would like for Christmas. We have decided how much we wish to spend on a present. We will all only spend the amount allocated and will buy one of the gifts on the list.
The benefts are we all get one present we would like but there is still the surprise of not knowing which of the six listed we will get.
:j

cmotha

I truly believe I must be the biggest mug on this planet when it comes to christmas For the past 14 years I have brought and paid for all the presents for mine and my husbands family. His side of the family has grown to consist of 5 children, 12 grandchildren, 3 neices, 2 nephews, 4 great nephews, 1 brother and 1 sister. My side of the family consists 2 nephews, 1 neice and my mum. We also have one daughter together.
My daugter recieves about 1 gift for every 10 I send. I on the other hand recieve NOTHING from any of them. I am an adult so I get this.
Along side all this I have also paid for and cooked Christmas dinner for all my husbands family for the past 14 years without eer being invited back, no not once. No help with the washing up etc. I have also paid and cooked for my family on boxing day.
Well Martin, your blog has convinved me to 'Just say no'. I have decided as of today to refuse to do any of this this year and any year in the future.
Thanks Martin and the rest of you all, you have just saved me over £1000 this year.
As I earn a reasonable wage this is not going to go down well with the rest of the family but that's just tough

LizB62

My parents have 5 grownup children and 3 grandchildren so with other halves and occasional family friends, there can easily be 14-16 people on Christmas Day

A few years ago we decided that Christmas was just too expensive and we'd all got into the trap of buying each other presents because we felt we had to.

So, now each of us buys presents for the grandchildren and our partner only, then the adults do a Secret Santa between us all with a maximum of £15 to spend on each gift.
A £15 limit quite often means that the gifts are quite silly so we have a lot of fun opening them up.

The other thing we do to spread the cost of Christmas dinner, and to make things easier for Mum, is to divide up the food preparation and cooking between us all. Mum does the turkey, a couple of people prepare the veg, a couple of people prepare starters and we all bring something for dessert. After a few years practice it works pretty well. However the first year, all 12 adults brought dessert and we ended up with 144 portions of various puddings!