mum in hospice, what's the son doing?

daska

I have a friend who is completely at a loss as to what to do next...

After 30 years of mum having only a few months to live she wasn't overly concerned to find out that her mum was in the hospice (again). Of course she went to visit (she's self employed and it isn't the kind of work you can just drop at a moment's notice, she has to arrange cover etc) and found her mum very confused and in a state of distress about her house and her son, my friend's brother. My friend duly went to check on her mother's house and found that the brother in the middle of converting part of the property into a workshop for activities which would require planning permission, would negate the house insurance and would make the property difficult to sell if this became necessary. She made her way upstairs and found all her mother's paperwork spread out in a mess (her mum is a control freak, she'd never leave a scrap of paper out of place). Her brother was at the house and started calling her all the names under the sun - obviously trying to hide something - so she had to leave.

So, Mum isn't really in her right mind at the moment - running a huge temperature as a result of an infection so this could be temporary but also might be more serious and my friend is concerned. Her her brother is obviously up to something (he has a council flat which he rents out while he lives with and sponges off mum, he also claims benefits but works cash in hand so you'll understand he's not exactly the most honest person).

There is, or at least was, a will, drawn up after mum was widowed, but there is no sign of it. The paperwork is a mess but she did find evidence that all her mum's savings had recently been transferred into a current account. My friend wants to make sure that her brother doesn't just empty the current account and leave her mother without a penny. And, worse case scenario, if mum doesn't make it out of the hospice, she wants to make sure that the assets are distributed as per her mother's wishes (there are several of her mother's friends that have been promised bequests).

Any ideas on the best way forward?

Pee

If Mum has over about £10,000 and is likely to live for more than three months, sister should look at The Office of The Public Guardian and either being appointed deputy or mother making a Lasting Power of Attorney when she is feeling better.

JBD

You need to take legal advice ASAP. When my Mum was suffering from dementia [not saying this is your Mum's problem] she was placed under the care of the court of protection, therefore noone was allowed to take money out of her account without it being approved. Personally I would take legal advice on your Mum's behalf, at least consult CAB.

bryanb

The council would be very upset to find out their tenant is subletting, I'd mention it to him.

Arthurian

Change the PIN on your mother's cash card.

adouglasmhor

bryanb wrote: »

The council would be very upset to find out their tenant is subletting, I'd mention it to him.

Especialy if he is claiming benefits!

puddy

surely this is a police matter, how did the son take the money out of the mother saving account?? what current account is it in now, one in her name or his name and who has the access to it??

report him to the council for subletting the flat, report him to benefits for working cash in hand, get him preoccupied with dealing with that, so that your friend can get to the bottom of what is going on in the house. she needs to involve as many organisations and professionals as possible to make it difficult for this person to get up to no good

Errata

Excellent post from Jenner. In addition - report him toi the Planning Office and advise Bank there is good reason to believe bank account is being used fraudulently.
Also - your friend can speak to Action on Elder Abuse to discuss the difficulties and seek guidance from them and have the same conversation with the solcial work team for older people and the social worker attached to the Hospice.

choille

Age Concern are very helpful & know a lot about financial abuse of the elderly - it's common unfortunately.

It happens. If the son has not got a POA then he is acting criminally. It is a terrible thing & your friend has you to support her - she will need all the support she can get, as this will take a time to sort out & her family will never be the same again.

daska

At the moment it looks as if my friends mum isn't expected to last more than a couple of months but they'll know more in a couple of days when/if they get the infection under control.

And yes, the brother is a nasty piece of work, he's never got involved in paperwork before he's always left it to his sister even though he's the one with the time! I did suggest to her that she persuaded other people to occupy his time for him but she's not anxious to trigger a full blown falling out - she has severe financial difficulties as a result of having to give up work to care for her mum on previous occasions and doesn't need the added pressure.

ceridwen

...and that is exactly why this awful man is up to his "shenanigens" - because he reckons his Sister is too tied-up in other respects to "fight back".

Aghhhh....:eek: Oh dear....he is definitely up to no good whatsoever...lets just hope he gets his comeuppance.

Errrmmm...wondering if you could report him to the Council for subletting of his flat?

I certainly agree with the basic idea of "throw the book" at him - anything and everything and anyone and everyone possible...

What a little !!!!!! he sounds....