Splitting up-can I keep the house?

trinab75

I am in the process of splitting up with a long term partner we have a 5 year old child and I am currently 3months pregnant.

We bought a joint house 4 months ago, I put down the deposit as I had sold my own home to fund this.
We own this house as tenants in common, in my favour.

I am currently living with my mum as I had to leave, could not cope with all the arguing as I know it is no good for my son, the baby or myself.

I would like him to leave as I am sharing a single bed with my son in my mums bedroom,whilst he has a 3 bedroom house to himself. Do I have any rights to stay in the property? or will it have to be sold?

elainetalbot

I presume you have a mortgage on your property. You must check that you have a written agreement regarding the equity share/amount you are entitled to if the property is sold. Me and my husband bought our house on a tenants in common basis (we were not married then) and we had a legal agreement drawn up whereby if the house was sold he would be entitled to a certain sum before the equity was split as, like you, he put down a large deposit when we bought it. In this event, you would be able to "buy out" your partner and stay in the house, although you would probably have to increase your mortgage. For example, say the value of property is £100,000 and your mortgage is £50,000. That leaves £50,000 equity. If your agreement is that £30,000 is your share before the remainder is distributed, if the house was sold then the £50,000 mortgage would be paid off, £30,000 is yours so the remaining £20,000 equity would be split between you. In this instance, you would need to raise a mortgage for £10,000 to "buy out" your partner as that is what he would be entitled to if the property was sold. This obviously means that you would have a £60,000 mortgage (original £50k plus £10k to buy him out) and you would need to make sure your income would support this. I suggest you obtain both legal advice and financial advice (from an IFA for example), before you proceed further.

trinab75 wrote:

I am in the process of splitting up with a long term partner we have a 5 year old child and I am currently 3months pregnant.

We bought a joint house 4 months ago, I put down the deposit as I had sold my own home to fund this.
We own this house as tenants in common, in my favour.

I am currently living with my mum as I had to leave, could not cope with all the arguing as I know it is no good for my son, the baby or myself.

I would like him to leave as I am sharing a single bed with my son in my mums bedroom,whilst he has a 3 bedroom house to himself. Do I have any rights to stay in the property? or will it have to be sold?

Gorgeous_George

If possible, resolve the relationship problem.

It may seem a big deal at the moment but, with time to cool off, you both may see things differently. The impact of splitting up will be huge for you, your partner and your children. Please do not take the decision lightly and do not rush in to selling or buying him out.

Obviously, I don't know what the problems are with your relationship (and nor do I wish to) but you should be in the house with OH in the spare room preferably or in digs (funded by you both while he is paying his share of the household expenses).

The grass may not be greener on the other side but only you know what is best.

Best wishes

GG

trinab75

Thanks for the replies,

After going over the figures it seems I would be unable to keep the house on long term. But I would like to at least be able to stay here until I have returned to work following maternity leave. Could I do this?

I have asked him to leave to allow me and my son to have a home and to allow me to have the baby and get sorted before the baby is born but he will not.
He will not do anything to make our lives easier.

Unfortunately George due to OH drinking probs and continuously telling me he does not want the baby or me (and then apologising) it has happened too frequently to ignore, I am unable to continue living in that environment.

Gorgeous_George

Maybe he needs to seek counselling for his problems. With your support, he may be a great bloke behind the alcohol.

I wouldn't advise him to move out but, if he is violent or abusive, a court order could make him leave (and stay away).

If you love him (as you must have 3 months ago) you should try to help him. If he loves you, he'd welcome the help. You could visit your GP on your own to seek professional advice.

Again, I don't know the details and this isn't the place to air them but there is help out there for these problems to be overcome.

GG

Becles

I would see a solicitor or the CAB for advice.

If you want to buy him out of the house, but cannot afford to do that now, you can set up an agreement to pay him later. As an example, say he has 10% equity now, a solicitor can draw up an agreement that you'll give him 10% of the house value when the baby is 18 and no longer dependant on you.

Your partner will have to agree to this, but it's something to think about.

System

Really, really, go to the Citizens advice bureau, they're helpful and not judgemental. They should be able to tell you your rights and if not they'll know who can. If you need to see a solicitor make sure you get one that's trained in Family Law because they can deal with non-adversarial divorce (ie they don't run up huge bills making you fight each other through them). If you do Mediation first its a way of sorting out finances without too much stress but make sure you know what you want so your ex hubby can't bulldoze you. Also I've been told that because I used the mediation route and I'm on a low income I'm entitled to Legal Aid because it saves the courts a huge amount of time(and therefore money).

Good luck with it all

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Your local domestic violence unit will be able to help if you would like him to leave the house so you and your son can return to it. HTH

sunflower_2

am nearly in tears reading this

what an awful man - having his young son with no home whilst he rattles around in it

you really dont need the stress in your condition

am sorry i dont have any legal advice to give you
but i hope everything works out for you

xxx

trinab75

Thankyou so much for all your advice and support, it means so much right now.

I absolutely know he will not respond to any form of advice which will leave me in a better position, so doubtful the mediation option will help.

I offered today to take over all bills, etc if he left. but he said he will not go til the house is sold and he gets 'his' money..I put the full deposit down, from a house I worked bloody hard to buy when i was 21, and even tho he will only get a very small percentage back, it kills me to think of him recieving financial advantage for being so horrid.

Anyway, thanks again for all your support I will try and get an appt with the CAB/Solicitors asap.
And will also look into the DV route as although I have not being physically hurt or chucked out, I can not live with a man whom constantly tells me he does not want my baby after 6 months of planning one and various other outbursts.

Dora_the_Explorer_5

Trinab, all the best . Domestic violence can be emotional and psychological as well as physical, and is also treated very seriously when children are exposed to it.