Buying at christmas

3KIDSNOMONEY

hi, just wondered if it is just me being mean. But this year i have decided not to buy for family members that we rarely see - what's the point. I can't stand the hypocrisy of sending gifts and specially bought cards for people who you dont see from one week to the next - just because you feel as though you ought to. i would rather spend moneyon my kids or not spend it at all.

i am also doing the same for birthdays. am i mean???

Minimum_Wage_2

it's good that you have money to spend

babymoo

Not mean at all, I buy for immediate family only!

3KIDSNOMONEY

Minimum_Wage wrote: »

it's good that you have money to spend

if only i did. with 4 kids there is never any spare money:o

babymoo - even immediate members of the family who just don't bother with the kids at all (seeing them, spending time with them, acknowledging them) I am not buying for, i.e. some grandparents. It's a real shame cos i love buying presents but i am not a hypocrite, plus money is a tight.

mrcow

You have to draw the line somewhere.

Are these people going to be buying things for all your family? (Not that you give to receive, but I'm thinking whether any of them could lead to embarassing situations for you?)

MichH

I only buy for immediate family, but this is just for the children. A couple of years ago we all decided (that adults that is) that Christmas was just getting too expensive as our family has grown every year, we now have a get together a couple of months prior to Christmas and so 'Secret Santa'. All our names go into a bowl, then we pick one out. So nobody knows who has who and all the presents just get put into one big pile on Boxing Day (our family get together) and all the adults have a present each to open.

For myself and other half this is the only present we get as we dont buy for one another, we save our money for a holiday instead!

This has worked really well, the kids all get lots of presents and the adults dont end up with lots of stuff they dont need/want.

Edited to add: No - I dont think your mean at all!

Tootsiepops

Just buy for your family, kids, OH and your parents tell everyone else to do the same, no guilt then

Kandipandi

Good for you - I totally agree, why bother when you dont even see them. I would send a card just to say you are still in my thoughts but as for a gift, forget it.
I did this a while ago too, I buy for the people that are important to me and my kids and no one else.
You know what they say you can choose your friends........

yummymummy79

Luckily (from a financial point of view!) I come from a very small family, so all I ever buy for is Mum, Dad, and Son. This year I've got son's new half-sister to get a pressie for but she's only 5 months so can't see it being expensive. Me and OH tend to buy something together for the house or for family use (even though we don't live together), last year was a Wii (2nd hand from my ex!) and this year will prob be a surround sound system. I'm not really a present/material things kind of gal so am not fussed if I don't get a lot.

Got a few birthdays around Dec/Xmas time too which is more reason for limiting Xmas pressies! OH's birthday normally involves a short break somewhere, last year was Cornwall, this year Venice so that is kind of a pressie too even though I get the benefit of it as well!

JBD

I don't think you're mean at all, OP, this is more or less what I do now. As long as you tell them so they don't buy for you.

margaretclare

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

hi, just wondered if it is just me being mean. But this year i have decided not to buy for family members that we rarely see - what's the point. I can't stand the hypocrisy of sending gifts and specially bought cards for people who you dont see from one week to the next - just because you feel as though you ought to. i would rather spend money on my kids or not spend it at all.

i am also doing the same for birthdays. am i mean???

No, you're being completely sensible. I agree with you - what is the point. Like you, I detest hypocrisy in any of its forms.