Buying at christmas

snowdrop1967

Hi, I'm doing the same this Christmas. I've just spoken to certain people to let them know we will just be sending cards from now on, its not just because of the cost but because we rarely see them. Hasn't gone down too well with some but then its probably cos they've always received more expensive gifts from us.:rotfl:

liney

I have only even bought for immedaite family who we see. No Aunties and Uncles who appear only at weddings and funerals.

My theory is, that you can pick your friends but not your familiy, so if you rarely see these people there is a very good reason, which in turn is the reason not the buy them gifts.

elfen

I only buy for immediate family and OH's family (4 sisters, mum + dad on each side, OH's bro, sister's wife, sister's boyfriend, niece, step-niece, sister's girlfriend) and that is more than enough to buy for. I also stick to a strict budget, usually £10 for sisters and their partners/wives and OH's bro, and up to £25 for mums and dads, and about £15 for nieces. Don't think anyone ever uses the expensive tat so there's no point buying it, instead spending less on something they'd actually enjoy.

And mums and dads, nan get special cards but the others dont.

penelopedee_2

No, I don't think you are being mean at all, although it might be less embaressing for you if you gently let everyone know beforehand.

OH and I have massive families and Christmas has always been very expensive for us, even to get little thoughtful gifts. Luckily this year my Dad changed the rules, bless him. I have been wanting to say that we would just buy for the children for years but never really had the guts to say it. But he decided to let us all know that he was only buying for the grandchildren this year and it has made everything loads better. So its our children, nieces and nephews only (as we see them regularly). Then over Christmas we will have a tea time party for everyone to come if they want (easy sarnie and mince pie tea with silly games). I've also set a strict limit on the pressies cost since my SIL said they were so skint they would prefer useful things such as PJs etc. It will save us a lot of money and I think it will be nicer to have a more social Christmas.

puss14

My SIL (brothers wife) brought in the rule that for xmas and birthdays only presents should be brought for the kids, which I didn't mind even tho I dont have kids. What I do mind is the fact that I now know she buys for her brother and sister and SIL(my other brothers wife). Apparently these are only small gifts but thats hardly the point. Another issue I have is the lack of appreciation for any presents I buy, seriously a thank you shouldn't be that hard to give:mad:

3KIDSNOMONEY

Thanks for all your replies - seems i am not the only one.

I also try and buy 'useful' gifts these days and not something that won't get used.

puss14 - i also hate the lack of appreciation given for presents, a simple thank you or little note is not too much to ask, especially when a lot of thought has gone into a gift.

As a couple of you have said you can choose your friends.......

doelani

We only buy our children, grandchildren and one nephew and niece who are still at school. We always had an unspoken rule in our home ( my family not hubbys ) that once a " child " left school and was working they no longer got christmas or birthday presents from aunts/uncles. I have 12 nephews/nieces and it used to be nightmare. I can only ever remember buying my brother before he got married and had his own children , sisters a lot older so never bought them.

My own children never expected anything from aunts/uncles so where never dissapointed lol

My stepchildren get from us, their other parents, their grannys, aunts, uncles, mums friends, stepdads family. I jsut feel it is to much. My stepdaughter has a birthday next week and has decided she is buying a new mobile with her " birthday money" and listed how much she would be getting from everyone.......thsi does not include us as have bought her a present.

Another pet hate of mine is when people spent £XXX amount and the person recieveing the present spends the same amount....whats the point??? Not us but someone last year was complaining to em they had to give their sister £50, brother £50 etc and had not got the cash. I asked if she could nto afford it why did she do it , reply was " wll they give me £50 so have to give them the same " !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

puss14

3KIDSNOMONEY wrote: »

Thanks for all your replies - seems i am not the only one.

I also try and buy 'useful' gifts these days and not something that won't get used.

puss14 - i also hate the lack of appreciation given for presents, a simple thank you or little note is not too much to ask, especially when a lot of thought has gone into a gift.

As a couple of you have said you can choose your friends.......

Sorry i went off on my own little personal rant and didnt respond to your post:o I don't think its at all a problem what you are doing, but perhaps give pple a heads up otherwise it might get awkward. I personally think xmas is way over rated, just call me grinch:D

Abbafan1972

We only have a small family. I don't have siblings and OH only has one brother. OH has one neice and nephew. We used to put money in a card for them, but don't bother now, as we never see them.

So me and OH only buy something for each other and for the kids. I sort out my own parents gifts and he sorts out his.

Me and my parents have had a falling out and my Mom asked if we were buying presents for each other and I said "well I guess not". And then she got on her high horse when I said for her not to buy for me and OH, just buy for the kids and I will buy them something from the kids (it just doesn't feel right putting it from me and OH).

I am not bothering with Xmas cards this year either. Going to just send to a few close friends and that's it. None of my family or OH's family even acknowledge us or the kids. None of them have ever even seen the kids. I just don't see the point of cards any more, as they just end up in the bin.

Getting back to your original question OP, no you're not being mean at all!

tealady

Hi I think you are doing the right thing by cutting back and if people get the hump cos you haven't bought them anything well that just shows you how shallow they are. If my family and friends said they are not exchanging prezzies this year, only cards I would love it as I loathe shopping!!!