My sad story

dreameR.78

Hi all,

I am in big trouble at the moment. I have a total debt of roughly £33000 of which about £15000 is owed to family and friends.

I have split my debts in to two sections. The first is money owed under my name and the second is owed to family members and friends:

Debt under my name

Student Loan: £7500 (defaulted)
Natwest Loan: £5000 (3 year term paying £177 per month with 2 years left)
Monument Credit Card: £380 (£130 over the limit)
Barclays Career Development Loan: 3000 (Written off but on Credit File since February 2006)

Total: 15880

Debt to family and friends

Partner’s Lloyds Loan: £3000
Partner’s Credit Cards: £3550
Brother In Law: (£8000 of which £5000 is a loan with Northern Rock, £250 per month for 2 years)
Mum: £600
Relative: 1000
Friends: £1200

Total: £16450


I earn £1844 after tax which is alright but then my partner doesn’t work so I have to support both of us. My current expenditure is as follows:

Rent: £628
Council Tax: £70
Water Rates: £20
Gas: £20
Electricity: £20
Food: £200
Cigarettes: £50
Mobile Phones: £60
Telephone: £25
Internet+Sky: £60

Total: 1153

That leaves me with roughly £690 per month to pay my debts

I pay around £95 for my partners credit cards (that’s only minimum payment) + £250 to my brother in law + £177 for my own natwest loan + £120 for my partners Lloyds loan.

That leaves me about £48 every month which is nothing when you consider that I owe over £5800 to family and friends.

My credit history is awful, I mean I was lucky to get a Monument credit card with a limit of £250 and even that is messed up now.

I really don’t know what to do! I’ve contemplated Bankruptcy but I just don’t think it’s the most appropriate solution for me as most of my debt isn’t under my name.

I’m 27 years old and I feel depressed most of the time. I fear that I will lose my job soon as I am not performing to the best of my ability and my job requires concentration and a clear head as it involves complex calculations and massive attention to detail. Most of the time I am thinking about my debt problem instead. I don’t know what I would do if I lose my job!

Any advice would be much appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

Emmzi

Thanks for posting. Sometimes just getting it off your chest can help.

A lot of questions here!

- what was borrowing for? any assets you can sell?
- Do family members you owe know your position? How able are they to help?
- is partner able to work? It's possible that they could enter an IVA for debts in their name alone

A little more background will help us to help you better.

Be calm.. you have taken the first step writing it all down.

silverfoxdude

Well done for post. Its better dealt with seeing it in black and white. There wil be people who can give more advice but I'll start the ball rolling...

Can you cut your food bill? Take pack-ups to work etc

Get an O2 card and you will only need to put £10 per month on it

Get rid of sky and get a freeview box, (bout £20 from Tescos I think)

Get OH out to work?

Best of luck x

dreameR.78

Hi there,

Thanks for taking interest in my post. I basically started gambling in Casinos and playing online Poker/Black Jack/5 real fruit machines etc...
I feel incredibly ashamed to admit this but that's where most of the money went.

I have told family and friends the whole truth. I couldn’t keep it a secret as I would have just carried on with my self destruction. I only recently told them about my addiction (2 weeks a go) and I haven’t gambled since then so that’s a start.

I feel ashamed telling you guys about my addiction. I really don’t want to gamble every again. I know that the next I do, it will be all over for me.

Unfortunately I have no assets, otherwise it would have been easy to settle the debts owed to family and friends.

My partner is currently looking for work. We have spoken at length about this and she is really keen to get a job to help me keep up with the payments. But you know, sometimes it isn’t easy getting a job but she’s trying.

bluezone

How about pub work in the evenings for you and or your other half?

Emmzi

It's ok..you're not the first gambler on here, you won't be the last. Perhaps someonewith direct experience can share their knowledge with you here.

Are you getting help for your addiction?

What help do you think you will get from the people (family and friends) you owe money to? What did they think they were lending it for?

southernscouser

When you say your paying OH debts do you mean they are yours but under their name?

And when you say your OH doesn't work are they able to?

First thing to go is Sky and you have put mobile phone(s)! Why two?

dreameR.78

I’m not getting any support for my addiction but I believe that I can handle it myself. As I said, I have not gambled since I told my family about my addiction and I am determined never to wager a single penny ever again. I really don’t want to spend the rest of my life being a loser.. literally.

My family and friends have been really good but as they have taken out loans on my behalf, I have no choice but to keep up with the monthly payments. The last thing I want to do is mess up their credit rating. It’s bad enough screwing up my own!!!!

The sad thing is, most of them trusted me with the money. They thought I was going to do something useful with the money, like start a business or something. They didn’t ask why I needed it, they just gave it to me! They were slightly shocked when I told them the truth but they also understood that compulsive gambling is a form of illness which many people suffer from so they have been supportive.

But as I said in my earlier posting. With all the loans and credit card payments I’m making every month, I still can’t see how I can afford to pay back the money owed to them. Money they had probably spent ages saving up!

What a loser eh?

dreameR.78

Emmzi wrote:

It's ok..you're not the first gambler on here, you won't be the last. Perhaps someonewith direct experience can share their knowledge with you here.

Are you getting help for your addiction?

What help do you think you will get from the people (family and friends) you owe money to? What did they think they were lending it for?

I don't think a pub job would be appropriate but I am seriously thinking of getting a weekend job. I really need to make more money!!!

dreameR.78

southernscouser wrote:

When you say your paying OH debts do you mean they are yours but under their name?

And when you say your OH doesn't work are they able to?

First thing to go is Sky and you have put mobile phone(s)! Why two?

Yea... she took out the loan under her name but I borrowed the money from her and blew it all on black jack. How pathetic?!!!!

She's able to work and she's looking for a job at the moment.

We've spoken about cutting down on our spending. We even considered cancelling our Sky subscription over the bank holiday weekend. I know it will help but I still can't see what an extra 60 quid a month is going to do to relive the situation. Looks like I need a miracle!

southernscouser

Don't be so harsh on yourslef mate. Like you said gambling is an addiction which is an illness. Alot of society are still judgemental about things like that but we're not on here.

We wouldn't class anyone with any illness like cancer as pathetic so we certainly won't class you as it either.

I know you said you can handle it yourself but I urge you to have a look at some other peoples post who have a gambling addiction. There are a few on here so you aren't alone and as good listeners as we are we will never fully understand how you feel like they will. It might help! Just do a search and you'll find the threads!