Any reassurance for MASSIVE debt?

Jezebel49

I'm in tears as I write this, just as I have been since finding out on Wednesday about my husband's debts. I'm hoping that there might be someone out there who can just give me one word of hope in all this. Just glancing through the board very quickly it seems like he is the only one with such huge debts.
Basically I found out on Wednesday that my husband has accumulated a debt of just over £87,000 on 13 different credit cards and 2 loans. He gave the companies his work address so that the statements didn't come here, and all I was aware of was one loan for £20,000 (bad enough, I thought). What seems to have happened is that he has spent 7 years paying off one credit card with another, never reducing the debt just increasing it...until it has got to this level. The credit card companies seem to have been very happy to keep on increasing his credit limit over those years and do not seem bothered that he had not given his residential address.
Now, as far as our relationship and all that goes - I can't even begin to think of the future of that right now, I am just panic striken about the money. We have a 3 year old daughter and all I can think of is keeping her in her own home - the rest will have to wait. My husband has finally admitted that there is an enormous life-changing problem, and phoned Payplan yesterday, and is going to go through it with a debt counsellor on Weds to see what can be done. I just wondered if there is anyone out there who is coming though an even vaguely similar situation? We both work (me part-time but I suspect that will have to change) but have a very average level of income. I just don't want my daughter to lose her home.
Thank you for reading this.
Jezebel49

moxie_2

Don't worry, you're not alone (look at my signature). I went to Payplan a year ago, they sorted everything out for me, dealt with all my creditors for me, sorted me out a realistic budget and although I still have a long way to go, at last I feel as if I am making some headway. They are so helpful and non judgemental, it really was the best thing I ever did. I'm sure it will be the same for you, they will help you to see light at the end of, what must seem at the moment to be a very dark tunnel. Try not to worry too much, it can be sorted.

jessicamb

Hi

What an awful situation to be in. I've not been there but from reading others posts it seems like one of the hardest parts - admitting to the problem - has been achieved. The only way is up from here on in.

I'm sure that payplan will have loads of good advice for you and help you to get things sorted.

Big hugs for now - let us know how you get on.

susiesaver

Hi Jezebel49.

After reading your post I just want to send you a great big :grouphug:. You must be feeling absolutely devastated. The folks on here are fantastic and will be along soon to help.

domestic_goddess

Poor you............... I know that this is easy to say but hang in there. A lot of people on here have those sorts of debts. The cccs will be able to help and when they have post your soa on here and we can all help you too x x x

Jezebel49

Wow - thanks so much for the lightning responses. Can't tell you what it means to me at the moment.
Jez

CosmoCat

just wanted to add my support for you. stay strong.

southernscouser

Hey Jezebel!

You honestly aren't alone. There have been loads of similar stories to yours since I joined on here. Some in your position, some in your husbands position.

As long as you keep up payments on the essentials, mortgage, council tax, utility bills and of course food the rest can wait. You can't give them what you don't have.

If you want us to cast an eye over your situation take a look at this thread then post back here with all the required information.

You honestly aren't alone and we all all great for getting something of your chest or for having a rant at!

SS

aimme13

its a terrible feeling realising you are in so much debt, even though my debt wasnt as big as yours its all relative to our own personal situation. Im with pay plan and they are fantastic. I still remember the feeling of getting off the phone and knowing that we could actually start paying off the debts and no longer hide the c/c letters. It will take a few weeks to sort everything out but once you are on your way it will be so much pressure off you. Keep on this site because it has some fantastic ideas and support ( i wish i knew about it when i had my lightbulb moment!).....good luck with everything

kuohu

Good luck with everything. The CAB, CCCS or Payplan will be able to offer advice. I'd suggest you take these next steps together with your husband, no more secrets.

Donedoingdebt

Hello. Right now is probably the worse you will feel. Once you've sorted out a plan of action with Payplan & passed the first few months when you may have communications from your creditors, it will definitely get better. Look at my sig, it makes sobering reading. I have done this well by working as much overtime/spare work as possible to build my income up to around £25,000 p/a. Try to set yourself small goals to begin with rather than worry about the whole debt & length of time it may take.