Continue living with mum or not?

Oldernotwiser

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I agree living at home will be cheaper, but would never assume a student would pay board to their parents. I know some families are not able to provide free food to their children once they become adults and thus do what they need to do to get by, but I'm also fairly sure that children in full time education are considered to be financially dependent on their parents.
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University students receive money to pay for their keep and this is what it should be used for. If their parents are assessed as needing to contribute, then free board could be that contribution.This is a totally different situation from someone in their teens who's in non advanced FE who doesn't receive maintenance funding.

Many people would think that teaching adult children to pay their way and be independent is "giving them the best start in life". Allowing them to have their loan, grant, bursary and earnings as pocket money does nothing to promote independence or to prepare them for the real world.

Lunar_Eclipse

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

University students receive money to pay for their keep and this is what it should be used for.

Many people would think that teaching adult children to pay their way and be independent is "giving them the best start in life". Allowing them to have their loan, grant, bursary and earnings as pocket money does nothing to promote independence or to prepare them for the real world.

I never knew university students received any money (as I didn't in the 90's). Presumably you're not talking about grants, capped on parental income?

Giving our children the best start in life is highly subjective and incredibly emotive. Whilst you make a very valid point that I do not disagree with, I know that there are many ways to teach our children what we believe is important for them to learn. So as part of my parenting job, I'm confident that I can teach my children to be pragmatic, independent and financially astute members of society without them needing to live on the breadline or with debt whilst at university, circumstances permitting.

Additionally it's quite hard to know what we do as parents that prepares our offspring well for the real world. That's often something that comes to light with the benefit of hindsight and is usually different for each child. We just do the best we can with the resources and knowledge available to us at the time.

moneypanicker

I guess it ultimately comes down to money - but personally i do not think you get the same experience if you live at home.

Going to university is not just about gaining an education it's about learning to grow up and be independent. You have to learn to budget (or not!) cook and experience living with other people other than family.

There were a few people on my course who lived at home and they missed out on a lot. They did not always go out with the rest of us and certainly missed out on spontaneous nights out - when they did come out they had to work out how to get home etc.

I doubt i'll be in a great financial position to help my kids when they go to university but i will be encouraging them to live away from home - not to get rid of them but to me that is what university life is about.

amy_lou_4

Pee wrote: »

I think you will miss out on a lot living at home. Living away during student years is not really leaving home, it's a playing at leaving home that makes the actual leaving easier for you and your Mum.

That is exactly it! I loved going away to university, but it was also so nice to know I still had a home with my parents in the holidays, you haven't cut those ties while your parents are keeping your room the same for you (despite wanting to turn into some kind of "dressing room"...)

In my first year at Manchester I lived in halls, and we had two second-year lads in our flat who were on the same course and had both carried on living at home for their first year. They felt like they were missing out on all the going out and meeting people from a wider range of backgrounds, so they got uni accomodation in second year (one of them still went home every weekend so his mum could do his washing and get supermarket shopping :rolleyes:) It was actually really cool to have a couple of people who knew the city already, helped us find our way round and where to go out.
I don't know how hard it is for people who do live at home to get involved in the uni social life, for me the stuff that really made me better friends with people was the bits either side of going out, the getting ready and the going back to people's houses after. I nearly always went shopping and went out with the people I lived with, although there are lots of nights out organised for people on the same course to get to know each other, and going for lunch with people you have chatted to in lectures etc.

Be warned though- once you have lived away, coming back to your parents' house after a few years of independence can be hard!

Mojisola

amy_lou wrote: »

Be warned though- once you have lived away, coming back to your parents' house after a few years of independence can be hard!

For the parents as well as the students!

Souk08

I lived out the whole time I was at uni and while it was hard and I did rack up a bit of debt, I wouldn't have changed the experience for the world. Uni life is all about learning to live independently and also having a brilliant time while you have no real responsibilities to worry about so if you can possibly afford it, do it. The manky halls, the fighting over Pot Noodles, it's all part of growing up and I have to say that working with a load of girls now who still live at home and attend university, they do feel that they've missed out.

Oldernotwiser

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

I never knew university students received any money (as I didn't in the 90's). Presumably you're not talking about grants, capped on parental income?

I'm talking about means tested loans, grants and bursaries. Didn't you receive these?

Lunar_Eclipse

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I'm talking about means tested loans, grants and bursaries. Didn't you receive these?

No, none of them. I wasn't eligible for a grant and have no recollection of bursaries, unless that was how fees were covered. Thankfully I was lucky enough to go to uni before students started paying fees.

lynzpower

Oldernotwiser wrote: »

I'm talking about means tested loans, grants and bursaries. Didn't you receive these?

My income for three years were loans, overdrafts and credits cards, until I was fortunate enough to find some part time work.

I did not know a sinlge person who got a grant or a bursary. aside from one of my mates who did nursing and got a bursary for that.

Meant to say 90 a week seems rather steep- are there any other accomodations that are cheaper? I chose ythe self catered shared flat optioon and this was slightly further out, somewhat basic,but the cheapest. I wont tell you what wepaid a week ( show my age) but its was a lot .less than 90 per week!

minerva_windsong

Compromise. Live in halls for the first year, and then if you decide you like living away from home move into a student house. If you don't like it you can always move back home (although make sure to tell the student loans company that that's what you're doing).

You've got almost a year so could probably build up a small savings cushion (I assume you're still at home but working) to see you through part of uni.

Be aware though, as others have said, that your relationship with your mum may change dramatically. I was very quiet as a teenager - did all my homework, didn't go out drinking, didn't have a boyfriend or sleep around or anything like that - and then the summer after I came home from my first year of uni I was a horrible brat because I really missed being independent and being able to do what I wanted when I wanted.

£90 a week is quite expensive for halls, but obviously that can be reduced by such things as communal bathrooms, only paying rent in term rather than over the holidays etc. For a student house though it's probably about right.