Daughter daytime wetting - need large size nappies

Minerva69

My DD will be 5 in January, she has always had a problem with wetting herself during the day and still wears nappies at night. She was a late developer in this area and wasn't potty trained until she was over 3, after she started nursery. She's never really managed to stay completely dry during the day, but did at least try to go to the toilet. She has been tested twice for urine infections, both of which came back negative. We've got an appointment with the doctor tomorrow.

We saw a continence nurse while she was at nursery who said we should keep her in nappies at night and just try to encourage her to go during the day. We tried reward charts, stickers, treats etc but none of it has been very successful.

Over the past few weeks things have got worse. She started school in September and wasn't too bad for the first couple of weeks. We were advised to try special padded training pants (which cost a fortune!) but she just thought they were a nappy and ended up being left all day wet through in them, so we went back to normal pants. Now she has given up trying to go to the toilet altogether. She just sits and wets herself, even if she's sitting on the couch, chair, carpet or whatever. She also did it at a restaurant while we were out for a meal.

Last week she did it on the carpet at school and the teacher wasn't happy. Our DD also hit another girl on the same day, which is out of character for her. We have a meeting arranged with her teacher after half term and they want us to see the SENCO as they are classing it as a special need.

We have just had to put her back in nappies during the day as we couldn't deal with her weeing everywhere (she has been known to go into the dining room and just wee on the carpet). It almost seems as though she doesn't realise when she needs to go, although she always manages to do a poo on the toilet! She doesn't mind being wet and doesn't tell anybody when she wets herself. She seems happier in nappies and it's taken the stress out of the situation.

She is tall for her age and size 6 nappies don't fit her anymore. I got some size 7 nappies from someone on Ebay but they don't seem to be selling them now. Does anyone know where I can get larger size nappies that would fit her? If not then I think we might have to use DryNites or something similar but they seem really expensive! Any other advice also gratefully received!

msb5262

Can you ask at the GP surgery for some advice? My grandmother was prescribed the pads/towels/nappies she needed when suffering from incontinence for medical reasons. See if the nurses can offer you advice, or you could try having a chat with the assistants in your local pharmacy - there is an enormous range of these things available, and as your daughter needs them I think they should be prescribed free of charge.
HTH
MsB

jog

Going back to the GP is a good starting point because you need to be sure that there isn't a physical reason why she's wetting, ask the GP about reffering your daughter to a paediatrician for a bladder scan. There are things that could cause problems apart from an infection.

The other person to speak to would be your school nurse, she may be able to offer you some help in dealing with the problem and can help you with the school, maybe you could have a meeting with both the school nurse and the teacher to disscuss the best way to manage the problem in school.

The problem with nappies is that they keep children so dry that they often don't then realise when they have had a wee.

If she doesn't seem aware of when she goes, or particuarly bothered about being wet, have you tried reguarly toileting her, e.g. agreeing that she will sit on the toilet every 1 1/2 - 2 hours to try and 'catch' her before she wets. Whilst this may not teach her the full bladder feeling, it might make the situation more manageable.

If your daughter has a continence problem then once identified you might be able to get help with nappies, but nowadays the emphasis would be on getting her dry rather than using nappies as that isn't really sorting out the problem.

Good Luck
Jog

HRV

This is difficult really as by putting her back in nappies may just take her back but I can see where you are coming from that you don't want to contiinuously be cleaning up. As a Foundation Stage teacher accidents happen all the time but the kids do tend to know they have done it/ or have just become so involved in an activity they forget. However if she needs reminding the school should really be supporting you in this- I have alot of children who start in Nursery not toilet trained and we actucally have to take them and teach them to use a toilet as just reminding them is not enough.
On the other hand if this has not worked and she needs to be in nappies she will need a plan set up by the SENCO as there are issues with changing nappies with a child in school (however it can be done as we had to do it for a boy who had downs syndrome who still required nappies)- school may also refer to the school nurser as she may be able to offer advice

Minerva69

To be honest one of the reasons we put her back in nappies because last week our DD's teacher told my husband that we should, or put her back in the padded incontinence pants. Basically they have said they don't want to be changing her clothes several times a day, they want her to wear something she can wear all day without them having to do anything. When she had the padded pants on they were absolutely wet through and the school didn't change them. One day it was so bad that the wee had soaked all into her other clothes too, but they hadn't changed her. Her teacher got annoyed with me when I said she wouldn't be wearing them again!

The school knew about her problem before she started there. I rang the school before the summer holidays and told them she had a problem, I also mentioned it to her teacher before she started. Both times they said they could deal with it, and now it seems they can't. We had the option to keep her at nursery for longer and now I'm wishing we had, as they had better staff and resources and didn't mind having to change clothes.

We have tried reminding her regularly but it doesn't work, the school tried doing it for one week then gave up, they don't seem to have the staff to deal with the problem. We just got to our wits end and put her back in nappies as we ended up not having anywhere to sit in the house because everything was wet!

One good thing is I managed to get in touch with the person I bought the larger nappies from on Ebay, she has got a couple of packs left so I've ordered those and they should tide us over until we get something else sorted out.

HRV

Does the school have a Nursery unit? May be that they are just not used to it happening- it happens all the time at our school. We are certainly not a well staffed foundation unit- we have 1 teacher and an LSP (learning support practitioner) for 30 full time reception pupils and 1 teacher and 1 LSP for 26 part time Nursery children (age 3 and 4) but we do it.

I think that you may need to be assertive and set up a formal plan with the SENCO and probably the school nurse- the school may (it can be done in some LEAs) be able to apply for funding to get extra staff to help support her needs (it won't be alot though).

We advise our parents to send them in pants and with a change of clothes- we don't allow nappies even in Nursery unless there is a medical need- To be honest at nearly 5- if told to your daughter would probably nearly change herself when told- I think the school is trying to get out of the issue as they don't really want to deal with it- therefore you may have to insist- hope that helps-

Gingham_Ribbon

If nappies is how you're having to handle it for the time being, have a look at these. They're sold in Morrisons here and go up to age 15.

Night time wetting is very common at this age and it isn't be something to be concerned about at all. The day times sound more difficult. Maybe some sort of reward chart for staying dry might help?

Good luck.

ebony90

I am certainly no expert on this, but I am an experienced early years teacher.

Whilst I can see where the teacher is coming from (it can be difficult to manage sorting out a wet child whist having the other 29 kids to look after too- don't know if they have a support assistant but I don't!) she really shouldn't be saying these things. Every school is expected to have an inclusion policy and she should be following this.

When I have encountered children who keep wetting in school, I make sure they go to the toilet at least once an hour and at least sit on the loo evenif they don't 'do anything'. I also advise parents to do this at home. It just makes them familiar with the experience. When coupled with praise if they do 'perform' they usually get the message!