Ex Husbands!!

Sarahsaver

They know not to expect anything - my oldest son's last birthday present from his father was a bag of jelly babies, nearly 3 years ago.
Luckily there are male friends around, talking about families at school my 3 year old told the teacher he doesnt have a daddy so he 'uses' one of these friends instead ;D made her smile, me too.

filigree_2

Ive been looking for work, i hear some employers offer 9.30 to 2.30 jobs in term time only - sounds too good to be true!?!?!

I used to work as a classroom assistant in my son's school, 8.45 - 3.15 term times only which made 25 hours/week. There are various hours available, most of us did 10 hours in one class, 10 hours in another. There are also vacancies for Learning Support Assistants, where you offer extra support to a child with disabilities.

It's a great little job for working mums, the pay isn't great (take home about £525/month for 25 hours a week) but the hours take you over the 16 hour threshold for Working Tax Credit. If you're currently on Income Support you might find that this sort of job leaves you better off, with the added benefit that you don't need to find childcare for your littluns. With a gross salary under £13K I think you would still get free dental care, free school dinners etc but get expert advice on that one.

You could ask around your local schools, most of the jobs go by word of mouth so you need to advertise yourself a bit!

jellyhead

our county council advertises all county council jobs on their website, yours might do too. some classroom assistant jobs want qualifications but some don't. i've been looking but i can't drive so i'm limited to one or two schools lol! i've been working in mcdonalds for 15 months now, term time and school hours only. it's not the most pleasant job i can think of but at least i choose my own hours, it's very flexible. i only do 3 shifts a week but if you did 4 or 5 you'd get working tax credit. i think it's better than nothing, others might not agree, lol!

Bossyboots

Unfortunately its not as simple as that - parents can and do walk away from their responsibilities every day and if they know what they're doing can and do get away with it.  

When I said about not being able to just walk away, I meant that there are arrangements between Britain and other countries so that leaving the country did not mean they could just escape their responsibilities.

I realise reading it back that wouldn't have been clear as things don't always come across on forums in the way you are thinking them through.

You are quite right that men can and do walk away from their responsibilities and it is a shame that there are not tougher procedures in place to prevent that without women having to resort to the Courts to fight for what they need or going through the CSA and all the hassle that causes. Equally though it is easy for mother's to withhold contact from fathers, even those who are meeting their obligations. There needs to be a radical shake up of family law in this country. One of the major problems we have is that many people think starting a new adult relationship includes ending a previous parent/child relationship and that is simply not fair. Children should not be deprived of financial support or parental contact smply because the adults involved have new partners.

chugalug

Bossyboots - I certainly agree with you there. Sorry didnt mean to sound all bitter and twisted but sometimes I do get very angry on behalf of my children (and all those children who have been dropped by their absent parent). Why can they not see how damaging this is for them?? Still, we do what we can don't we ???

pandas66

I agree with both comments above. Its so easy for the absent parent to more or less disappear without a trace from the kids lifes, fianacially and physically. I seem to have spent so much time asking this particular ex when will he turn up and when will he pay. There are many easy loopholes in our system for the absent parent to use. Its always been up to me whether I chase him and keep an eye on his where abouts. So now I have to try and keep tabs on him in another country, just how do I find out whether he's earning? He says he's going into business but how shall I know he's never informed us of similar in the past, a little ypical story for you. He was once out of work for around 18 months (supported by one of his g/f's at the time) he said he was too qualified for any old job/any old money so he waited for the right one/right money. I got zero money. 18 months later he got a job. It was 6 months before I knew and reported him for non payment (!) and it was from that date the csa claim on him was made not the date he started work. So now he's leaving the country. I'm sick of it.

pandas66

p.s
thanks for listening
:-*