Ex Husbands!!

pandas66

Long involved story of many years toil I won't go into. Ex has on a regular basis pulled the rug from beneath me I think he's on his final act now though. Kids have sporadic contact with him over the years an email 3/4 times a year, an odd text but thats about it for the past 2/3 years but he does pay his maintenance quite reguarly NOW.
Bomb shell
He's emailed to say he got remarried last SUMMER and this summer he moves to USA.
Kids in turmoil
I'm financially panicking again.
He says he's off in about 5/6 months but is away on business as from 16th Jan thro to mid April.
Will I be able to get csa to chase him across the states.
Feel sick
This has been going on for 11 years now. Kids are 14/11

Bossyboots

An order can be made for maintenance payments even though he is in the States.

You need to contact the CSA and ask them for advice. You should also try and find a solicitor with experience of this situation and take some legal advice.

He cannot just walk away from his responsibilities but you need to start sorting it now.

chugalug

Unfortunately its not as simple as that - parents can and do walk away from their responsibilities every day and if they know what they're doing can and do get away with it. This I know from bitter experience of the CSA. To the OP - unfortunately if your ex moves to the USA the CSA will not be able to enforce maintenance payments whether an assessment is made or not. This was true last year when a work colleague of mine found herself in the same predicament. Her ex remarried and moved to the States so the CSA couldnt enforce the maintenance order. Luckily he does send some voluntary payments (obviously I say 'luckily' with some irony). Check this out though as the system does make changes now and again. Good luck.

elona

I cannot add any real information but my heart goes out to you and to the children.

Lets hope the CSA can and will do something or else he decides to "set things in order " before he goes.

I know it is not much comfort but it at least does not sound as if he is likely to try to take children- just leave you with all the worry and responsibility/

pandas66

Thanks for the replies. I have made a few brief enquiries to the csa. I also have had an email off 'him' with a small explanation. He's going in 6 months (ish), starting a new business with new wife so says no immediate income to me, it also says 'does he need a green card etc' will he be legally able to earn or will it be the new wife only and her initially supporting him?? so he has no effective income!!
The csa say that once income and an order for payment are established then i can take him to court to recover monies. So time is on his side, this will take years.
Any summer jobs going ?

elona

Panda66
I read your comments just now and it does not sound as if he is very well prepared for this step he is about to take.

I have a hunch that new wife will get a bit fed up with him pretty soon and that if he does go to America there is a good chance that he will be back once he realises everything will not be handed to him on a plate.

Sarahsaver

I am in financial dire straits bcos of the ending of csa payments from my ex - hes given up his job, and i am saddled with the mortgage. The best thing I can advise is write him off. You and your kids are on your own, same as me. If he wanted to get in touch with the kids he would. Your kids are old enough to realise he is an a*hole. " of mine are, the youngest doesnt even remember his 'dad'.
I am going to struggle but I have a pile of stuff to sell on ebay. Keep on saving in every way you can and we will help you through it.

missprice

officially the csa have an agreement with every country except china.

however getting the money is never that easy. as you must already know it will take years to fight him through american courts and cost more than the csa deems worthwhile.

as the reply above, forget him and get on with your life.

just a small point but if he had been dead all this time, you would have faced this problem sooner. also at some point he would have stopped paying (when kids were older) so you would have faced this problem at some point.

elona

If he had been dead then at least you would know exactly how you stand instead of hoping against hope for responsible and decent behaviour from him.

You might also have got an insurance payout.

Sorry if this sounds morbid.

Sarahsaver

I know with my ex that i must not rely on the csa money, which makes things rather hard, but then again I dont WANT to have to rely on him, i couldnt do so when we were married why should I now?
And as for the kids my older son - 5 in March - realises that his 'daddy' hasnt been in touch and is coming to his own conclusions that he is better off without. It may seem tough but kids sometimes have to find these things out for themselves, rather than waste years longing for affection from someone who isnt going to give it.
Good luck.
Ive been looking for work, i hear some employers offer 9.30 to 2.30 jobs in term time only - sounds too good to be true!?!?!

pandas66

Thanks for the support and advice given to me.
Just as a matter of note my situation of "ex' has been going on forr 11 years so I haven't just been dropped into this situation and I also work, always had too! His new wife has no idea what lies ahead of her as I said previously long long story but the short version is once a cheater always a cheater in his case and he has 2 other children you nice tax payers have supported too. A word of caution to you Ssaver my boys are now 12 and 14, they know full well what he has done, or doesn't! but as youngest sons' birthday approaches he's watching the post from him. I'll pm you if you like. Been there done it for a good while.