xmas

minerva_windsong

kr15snw wrote: »

Mum was horrified that we didnt want something for 'ourself' and is insisting that we have something for us and not 'practical'. But at the moment I just want to get this damn room finished, as we've been trying to do it for 2 years!!!

I think that's why I struggled to think of things I wanted for my birthday this year, because I couldn't say, "I would like money to help me pay off my overdraft, so I will pay it off sooner and be able to start saving sooner".

To whoever said about it being embarrassing to see the value of the voucher, couldn't that apply to a gift? It's not that hard to make a rough guess about the value of a book or a CD or DVD or whatever. I've certainly felt like that when I've seen the presents my sisters have bought for my parents for example. Besides, you can get those giftcards now where you don't know how much is on them (OK you get a receipt saying how much but this can be taken out or put behind the card or whatever).

An alternative to Firebox is iwantoneofthose.com. That might have some good ideas.

jellyhead

flea72 wrote: »

perhaps if they had less stuff, then they might play with, and appreciate the few things they have more

Things have changed, and not for the better in my humble opinion. When I was a child our parents bought the presents. We would get something from grandparents but rarely anything from uncles, aunts etc. or if we did then it was something small, the equivalent of a selection box or a bottle of bubble bath. I don't know if it was the same for everyone in the 70's - my parents were very poor (dad was an apprentice and there were no top-up benefits) and so were our friends and family.

I can still remember the year my aunt bought a gift for my sister and I and we were giddy with excitement. She'd put them under the tree and we spent ages trying to work out what it could be. Those presents were just talcum powder, in a sindy doll container. We were thrilled - so easy to please :T

I also remember one day when she met us from school in the fog and she'd bought little bottles of orangeade for us - oh, the extravagance!

Once she had children of her own the christmas gifts stopped. Nobody had the money to spend on other people's children, not at christmas, just for birthdays. Our presents from grandparents were things like handknitted jumpers and it was lovely to get something new. One year my gran gave us each a torch and that was amazing - we'd never had one before.

Nowadays children get stuff all the time - even happy meal toys have batteries, lights etc. and they get christmas gifts from every relative they ever met and many who they never met.

Parents still have to provide enough to make it look like santa's been though, even though you know they are going to get so much from other people that you/santa didn't need to get anything at all and they'd still be spoilt.

I sometimes wonder if christmases are magical for our children nowadays

Sorry this is off topic and nothing to so with the OP But cash/vouchers does seem nicer because then a child can get the one thing they want (an x-box etc.) from everyone rather than santa bringing the x-box and they get 40 other gifts that they don't really need.

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

I do agree...but Xmas IS still magical in our house, i do get a fair few prezzies for my daughter but i usually stick in her fave character pj's or clothes and lots of books in there and just 2 or 3 toys and a big prezzie and a little one she asks for from santa (she got a wooden dolls house last year and a little Roary car that she asked him for - no idea what to do as her santa prezzie this year, argghh). She makes a present for mummy and daddy and does her bit for santa the night before.

She doesn't get bought things willynilly throughout the year though, but she does have £3 a week if she tidies her room and picks her toys up - this she either saves or buys kiddie magazines with. Sweets are a rarity if i can help it too.

We ask others not to get her big fancy toys if they don't mind - simply as over the years she has too many and alot of them spoil immaginative play and end up going to someone else. This year we have asked that anyone who do plan on getting her something is to give just £1/£2/£5 or max £10 for her spending money as we are off to Disneyland next year just before the new baby is due. For her holiday she has to save her own spending money which even though she is just 3 she is very very good at (she has 5 piggy banks full of silver and £1 coins from family members) so she'll really apreciate those type of gifts.

I remember when i turned about 11 i would go to the £1 shop and using my pocket money i had saved up got all my aunties/uncles and cousins something in there. It wasn't much but because of my age, and the fact nobody had asked me to it got great appreciation.

I love christmas, and i love giving, but i do hate it when people think about the monetry value more than the gift itself - it really shouldn't matter where it came from or how much it cost.

Kids do tend to want want want these days - i look back and think i had more fun with the little i did. I mean i'd make my own dolls clothes rather than being bought these fancy sets for them, and the making bit was great fun.

my_gorgeous_ellie-belle

I hate the whole ''santa's been and left all of this'' thing though - DD gets 2 prezzies from Santa, mum and dad get one each too just to play along. These are wrapped in fancy paper with ribbons and a note from santa, a bit of snow and soot left behind too for a nice touch. The rest are from mum and dad, my daughter is made fully aware of that so she can be rightly grateful to us too. x

jellyhead

I loved last christmas when mine was 3 - he asked for a yoyo They only get one gift on Peppa Pig. Your christmas sounds lovely

Threebabes

flea72 wrote: »

how can they be picking anything? i dont know of any kid who buys things they dont want. maybe things their parent doesnt want them to have, and in hindsight, the kid could have prob spent the money more wisely, but if in that instant, they ask for something, how can you go against their choice

but there must have been new games that came out this year, that he wanted last January, and can now be bought as a gift for this christmas? or are all children bought everything they want, the second they ask for it? whos to say the game they buy in January with their vouchers, isnt any more tat, unplayed with rubbish, than something that can be bought now, as a gift

F

I dont decide for my kids. My DH had every decision made for him until he left school, so we are very much towards them deciding for themselves. Do you have children? My youngest can go through argos catalogue wanting everything on every page, so some judgement has to be made. Maybe she wants a doll, when she already has several which are unplayed with, whats the point of another doll?

DS is very particular about what he chooses, since before the summer he knew which games he wanted for christmas and his birthday, he doesnt just choose anything, the games he gets are far and few between so he choose wisely. He also goes for a game type, which arent made in abundance.

They should be lucky to get everything they want, actually they dont ask for all that much, and in between christmas and birthday any pocket money has to be saved if toy/game is wanted. Its not that we cant afford to buy them these things, it is to teach them if you want something it has to be saved for.

pebbles88

jellyhead wrote: »

Things have changed, and not for the better in my humble opinion. When I was a child our parents bought the presents. We would get something from grandparents but rarely anything from uncles, aunts etc. or if we did then it was something small, the equivalent of a selection box or a bottle of bubble bath. I don't know if it was the same for everyone in the 70's - my parents were very poor (dad was an apprentice and there were no top-up benefits) and so were our friends and family.

I can still remember the year my aunt bought a gift for my sister and I and we were giddy with excitement. She'd put them under the tree and we spent ages trying to work out what it could be. Those presents were just talcum powder, in a sindy doll container. We were thrilled - so easy to please :T

I also remember one day when she met us from school in the fog and she'd bought little bottles of orangeade for us - oh, the extravagance!

Once she had children of her own the christmas gifts stopped. Nobody had the money to spend on other people's children, not at christmas, just for birthdays. Our presents from grandparents were things like handknitted jumpers and it was lovely to get something new. One year my gran gave us each a torch and that was amazing - we'd never had one before.

Nowadays children get stuff all the time - even happy meal toys have batteries, lights etc. and they get christmas gifts from every relative they ever met and many who they never met.

Parents still have to provide enough to make it look like santa's been though, even though you know they are going to get so much from other people that you/santa didn't need to get anything at all and they'd still be spoilt.

I sometimes wonder if christmases are magical for our children nowadays

Sorry this is off topic and nothing to so with the OP But cash/vouchers does seem nicer because then a child can get the one thing they want (an x-box etc.) from everyone rather than santa bringing the x-box and they get 40 other gifts that they don't really need.

what a lovely post! and i couldnt agree more!!

red_devil

jellyhead wrote: »

Things have changed, and not for the better in my humble opinion. When I was a child our parents bought the presents. We would get something from grandparents but rarely anything from uncles, aunts etc. or if we did then it was something small, the equivalent of a selection box or a bottle of bubble bath. I don't know if it was the same for everyone in the 70's - my parents were very poor (dad was an apprentice and there were no top-up benefits) and so were our friends and family.

This is a true post and highlights what i say. Things have got out of hand because of weak parents who think they must give their little jimmy everything. What will kids of today have to give their children in years to come to keep them happy! shudder to think.

madnessandmayhem

Hubby and i have 3 nieces and 1 nephew, and as we can't afford to spend loads andd loads on them getting them a pressie they would really like we usually just give them £10 and they put it towards clothes or game or whatever it is that they are into atm!!! I don't like to sound ungrateful but i usually ask people to give my boys (2 and 6) money or vouchers as they don't need anymore toys!!! My in laws usually like to get them something they 'need' last year they paid for their new bunk beds so ds2 could move from his cot. This year they are going to pay for a term of playgroup for ds 2 and I think i will ask if they can pay for a term of swimming lessons or beavers for Ds1 . They get them a few little bits to open, but they do the same for birthdays as well, and it really helps us out and doesn't add the already large collection of toys!!!

Sorry just realised absolutley no help to the op what so ever, but you are not alone in your way of thinking!!!

Molly41

"Teenage boys do just want money. I have one so I know"

Oh I so wish my kids just wanted money! I have three DS and 1 DD (all teenagers) and I broached the subject of money for xmas only last weekend. They just dont want it. They want presents and were upset that I was changing the christmas tradition. I wasn't suggesting no presents but mainly money, then a few pressies to open and a stocking. Im really not well at the moment and dont have a clue as to how I will go shopping for gifts. I can do it online but like to see things before i buy.