What terms do you wish you could put in listings?

JustLittleOldMe_2

Im getting so fed up with silly buyers that i WISH i could write a whole bunch of blunt terms and conditions. What are some things you wish you could say to all your buyers? Be as outrageous as you want, as no buyer will know its you!! Haha!

rockyrose

JustLittleOldMe wrote: »

Im getting so fed up with silly buyers that i WISH i could write a whole bunch of blunt terms and conditions. What are some things you wish you could say to all your buyers? Be as outrageous as you want, as no buyer will know its you!! Haha!

1. I am not a carrier pidgeon so if you pay at midnight ,no, your item will not be delivered to you ,in the post, the next morning,
2. If I say the item is red, yes it is red, so when you get it don't say you wanted pink.
3. I will always ask for photos, so if you say the item is damaged-make sure it is before you try to get a refund
4. If you bought Chanel perfume do not mark me down as item not as described because for some unknown reason you thought you were buying Paris Hiltons latest effort.
5. If I say Post To Uk only don't ask if I will post to Outer Mongolia!!!
6.I am not in charge of any postal or courier service. When I rush to the PO and wait for what always seems like hours in a queue to post off your stuff asap don't write things like "postage slow" when you mean it took a while to reach you. Not sure why anyone thinks I actually am reponsible for putting it thorugh your door-maybe they think I need another job.!!
7.At the top of my page where I have said "Welcome" what I actually mean is "You are welcome but only if you are not a.a total idiot b. can read and understand simple and at the most 2 syllable words c.a scam artist d.someone who asks million of questions but has no intention of bidding e.someone who knows that "pick up only" means no I won't post the item.

Strapped

I think rockyrose about covered it. :rotfl:

Although perhaps there should be a box to tick saying "yes I have READ the listing, understand it and have asked any questions before pushing the button to purchase", maybe with a compulsory pop quiz

montyrebel

no foreigners

NotQuiteNorbert

Have just been put off an auction by the following.

please only bid if prepared to pay at end ,please pay with in seven days of item ending IF YOU DONT I WILL RELIST ON THE 8TH DAY sorry about this but iam fed up with people not paying AND WASITING MY TIME. OVER SEA BIDDERS PLEASE WAIT FOR INVOICE BEFORE YOU PAY AS THE OVERSEAS POSTAGE COAST IS JUST FOR SOME COUNTRYS AS LATLEY SOME OF MY HEAVY BUNDELS OF CLOTHES HAVE BEEN HEAVY AND ITS NOT BEEN ANOTHER FOR SOME FURTHER COUNTRYS THANKS PLEASE IF YOU HAVE A PROMBLE BEFORE LEAVING NEG OR BAD FEED BACK PLEASE EMAIL ME AND TELL ME WHATS WRONG BEFORE LEAVING FEED BACK I DONT BITE !!! THANKS.In the event of item going missing in the post, please do not hesitate to contact me and I will happily forward buyer the proof of postage please note please note due to other comitment i only post wednesday and friday mornings thanks I WILL ALWAYS COMBINED POSTAGE ON MULTIPLE ITEMS PLEASE NOTE I ONLY TAKE RETURNS BACK IF THERE IS A REAL PROBLEM. WHEN YOU HAVE SENT BACK THE ITEM I WILL REFUND YOU THE ITEM MONEY AND THE POSAGE YOU PAY TO SEND IT BACK I DONT GIVE BACK THE POSTAGE THAT I USED TO SEND IT TO YOU WITH THANK YOU

I much prefer rockyrose's version!

upsy-daisy_3

NotQuiteNorbert wrote: »

Have just been put off an auction by the following.


I much prefer rockyrose's version!

Other than bad english... I come across these terms on lots of listings... doesnt put me off though!

cyberbob

upsy-daisy wrote: »

Other than bad english... I come across these terms on lots of listings... doesnt put me off though!

Would me if they don't understand the basic rules of ebay it doesn't bode well.

1/ If item lost in post you can send the proof of posting if you like the buyer in turn can put a paypal claim through and they will refund them

2/If you relist on the 8th day the buyer can still happily pay then you will have 2 buyers for 1 item now who would you like your neg off

Also if the seller cant even be arsed to do a quick proofread can they be arsed to make the rest of there listing accurate? I can forgive the odd spelling mistake but that is horrific

harveybobbles

this is the one I use...

Please Note:
I try to be fair with my postage prices.
I don’t charge for petrol or my time spent in the Post Office queuing up and I don’t charge for wrapping material and time nipping out of work, or wear and tear on my car or paying to park up. I try to re-use mailing bags and jiffy bags where I can. By doing this I’m making the overall cost of the item cheaper, passing this saving onto you!

pinkshoes

I would put:

* If it says size 10 M&S jeans, they are size 10 M&S jeans. Don't underestimate the size of your (chunky) thighs.

Wicked_witch

I would put:
DON'T DON'T DON'T watch this item until it ends then privately offer me a derisory amount for the item when it was already hugely discounted. I know how much the items I sell are worth and am prepared to wait awhile then relist in order to get a sensible price or else to just keep it.

Equally, don't ask to buy for a derisory amount off ebay while the auction is still running. Apart from being really rude, you're not even protected in either of these situations. One day I will snap, take the money and send you nothing and there will be NOTHING you can do about it!!!!!!!!!!!

What I actually put is 'I do not accept offers or conduct sales off ebay, thanks'.

For some reason, people who buy parts for RC models are mainly guilty of this.

VanyaHargreeves

Wicked_witch wrote: »

Equally, don't ask to buy for a derisory amount off ebay while the auction is still running. Apart from being really rude, you're not even protected in either of these situations. One day I will snap, take the money and send you nothing and there will be NOTHING you can do about it!!!!!!!!!!!

Apart from put in a paypal claim, get a refund, get you a NPS strike and leave you a neg...