Church Nightmare!

Dinah93

Yep that was our thought when we were told it was an issue! Apparently the issue is that they are not comfortable marrying someone in the eyes of God who are sinning, but as I say they're happy for us to go every week, serve coffees, play in the worship group and so on, so it really was non sensical - you are sinning, but we're not going to let you have the thing that stops you sinning!

shellsuit

Dinah93 wrote: »

Yep that was our thought when we were told it was an issue! Apparently the issue is that they are not comfortable marrying someone in the eyes of God who are sinning, but as I say they're happy for us to go every week, serve coffees, play in the worship group and so on, so it really was non sensical - you are sinning, but we're not going to let you have the thing that stops you sinning!

I don't know whether you are or not (none of our business!) but tell them that just because you are living together that doesn't mean you are sleeping together.

It's disgusting that they will welcome you into the parish for when it suits them, but when you want to do the right thing and only they can help, that they don't want to help!

If your pastor has said he will marry you, then that's job sorted isn't it? x

Dinah93

Yep it is and we're happy with that, now I just need to work out if my friend is just a bit hormonal as its her TOTM, or if shes actually being a bit off. If all else fails shes coming to my house monday, I'll butter her up with cheesecake and cupcakes.

tanith

Sounds to me like she has a 'bee in her bonnet' about something and she said what she did to upset your plans... I'd have to ask 'what her problem is', to say what she said and totally upset you when you have now found is not a problem at all.... friends like that we can all do without , sorry thats not very christian of me but honestly some people just love to 'rain' on other people's parade...

Errata

Perhaps the difference is that the church welcomes you to worship in the congregation and take part in other things, but a marriage ceremony is a church ceremony and a different kettle of fish, IYSWIM.
Sometimes very fundamentalist churches can be quite different to run of the mill CoE, Catholic, Methodist etc.
If that particular church and it's standards are not acceptable to you, perhaps you need to seek another church who's thinking is more in line with yours ?

Optimist

shellsuit wrote: »

You got the Pope's number?

His number is in THE BOOK.

He does have a email address benedictxvi@vatican.va

PolishBigSpender

1. Talk to the pastor himself, it might be that this woman is just making it up.
2. If it's true, make your finance move out for a while - then you don't live together any more and the problem is solved!
3. Common problem here - usually in such situation the couple follows my advice no 2, then they go and confess and they stay apart until marriage. No point arguing, after all it is against the church's teachings (at least in Roman Catholic church).

jenhug

you need to ask this woman what her problem is, and ask her if she would like to step down as bridesmaid! Not the sort of person I would want standing with me on my wedding day!