Really worried about my son...

jodie114

last week, my son nearly choked on some meat, he was fine and been eating normally since. But the day before yesterday he started refusing to eat anything that needs chewing. He has eaten a cereal bar yesterday, without realising, but when i give him his dinner, or toast this morning, he seems genuinely scared in case he chokes again. What do i do? do i give in, and give him yoghurts, milkshakes etc, or do i persevere and let him lose out until he is ready to eat? the thought that he is going hungry is sooo hard though. He is 6. I have made an appointment with the gp, but the soonest was next monday.

divadee

i may be hard but i would not make a fuss and give him his usual dinner if he doesnt want it then take away but dont give him milk or yogurts instead.

he will soon eat when he is hungry. I say this as a friend of mine has pandered to her sons fussy food habits he is now in secondary school and will hardly eat a thing that is normal. no fruit, veg etc... only drinks coke or milk no water.

do not pander to him or it will get out of hand and he will only eat those sorts of things as you will build the fear up in his mind to be out of proportion.

Marcheline

Totally agree with divadee. I wouldn't even go to the gp unless you have really tried what divadee advises. This is because it will make it into a massive deal for your son. Just tell him that you'll watch him cut his food up to make sure it's small enough for him. If he won't eat it, don't give him anything else. He won't let himself starve and he'll soon be eating normally again in my opinion.

Kandipandi

Same here - if you let this get a grip on him it could be with him all of his life.
It sounds cruel but you have to do this now to help him, keep feeding him the same things you always have done and try to be strong.

ameliarate

Speak to him about it and explain that sometimes these things happen and that he must chew his food properly.

grastgirl

I would generally agree with the majority on "faddy" eating, but I think in this case, ameliarate has the right tactic on this. He needs to have his fear acknowledged and dealt with, rather than making him eat under duress, because I think this could set up a bad relationship with food later in life even if it works for the moment.

Perhaps it would be more useful to say that you will work with him on it for a bit, so giving him stuff that won't choke him for most of the time, but insisting he tries (and chews thoroughly) some of his proper dinner. Hopefully this would rebuild his confidence so he'll eat properly in time.

Also could you explain to him that although it is scary you know exactly how to deal with it by showing him a first aid book with pictures? Might depend on whether you think this will help or make him more scared though.

P.S. I'm not a parent, so feel free to ignore me.

sarymclary

I would deal with it in a very matter of fact way. I wouldn't even contemplate going to the doctor - he's not ill!

Choking in children invariably will happen when the food hasn't been chewed fully, prior to swallowing, or he may have been chatting with food in his mouth and inhaled. That's a good reason to teach good table manners such as, cutting food up into bite sized pieces, eat with your mouth closed, and do not talk with food in your mouth. We have very strict table rules, and one of my sons in particular will attempt to cram too much into his mouth, and another one will keep trying to have a conversation mid-mouthful. They get 1 warning to eat better, or they can leave the table.

I think you need to ensure your son has the control over this issue by ensuring he follows the simple rules while eating. It was probably his actions, rather than the food itself that caused him to choke. If you can get him to realise this, he shouldn't have to fear the food, as it was his fault (more than likely).

You have an opportunity here to not make this a drama. Everyone chokes, it happens, and yes it can be a bit scary, but he's over it now. Do not make special allowances for it. If he'd fallen and scraped his knee, and was refusing to ever leave the house, would you go along with that, or make a doctor's appointment? These things will happen, but he can take his own steps to try to ensure it doesn't happen again.

Sorry if I sound bit blunt, but I'm a mum of 4 boys, and learnt very early on that you just have to be very down to earth about these things.

jodie114

i appreciate the bluntness, and yes, my inclination was to carry on as normal and let him get on with it. It was just that he was physically shaking at the thought that he would have to eat. I have explained that it was because he was talking and eating, and not the food, and have explained that we all know how to deal with it if it did happen, but he is literally hysterical and it was tugging on my heartstrings a bit. He has always loved his food, and it seems horrible to see him go out hungry

patchwork_cat

I wouldn't give in, but I would put my laterally thinking cap on - for example I would give him mince and tatties ( mashed potato and mince) they don't really need chewing, but you aren't giving in. Or cheesey mash etc. I am sure we could all think of quite ordinary food that really don't need chewing, without him being aware and he will develop his confidence that it won't happen again in a hurry.

Definately don't make a fuss and no trip to the GP just yet. Tomorrow something that needs a bit of chewing, he will soon forget if you don't mention it.

mountainofdebt

I would also explain to him that when we have horrible expereinces we can either never do that thing again, even if we have previously enjoyed doing it (and then you can talk about his favourite foods) , or learn why that experience happened (in this case talking whilst eating!)

dangers

Has he eaten his lunch at school? What was that like? Watching his peers eat may help.