I finally did it...

CosmoCat

lynzpower wrote:

Hi there love
Sorry, I hope you didnt take offence at what I wrote, its just that until recently Ive been doing that, using lodgers money to buffer my lifestyle. Please dont take offence it really wasnt my intention at all .

Basically I added up the bills that you were paying and split in half, so this means that his share of the bills you listed was 565. I didnt know that he was repsonsbile for the loan, though so I guess it works out you are subsidising his side if you see what I mean.

Do you have a seperate account for rent & bills or does it all come out of your current account? i have a seperate one, and it takes care of itself never really need to look at it.MAybe this might make things more in control? Then OH and you can have standing orders for both into that account. If you have bought the house together it makes sense to pay for things "together" in that say whoever has the gas bill with a massive rise doesnt get lumbered, or whatever.

Lynz
x

hey lynz

oooooh no no no, i didn't take offence at all. i just couldn't figure it out, that's all. i'm glad to talk about it, because it makes me see the foolishness i'm doing, the inequity/equity of the bill payments and the ways i can change my habits. i'm really happy that you're taking the time to chat with me and to try to understand my situation. and sorry if my wording was a bit straightforward too. please believe me, i won't be taking offence at any advice offered here. I will only be honest and accountable! :beer:

all ddebits come out of my account. so he sets up a standing order of the £650 monthly to my account. the other three bills he pays himself. maybe we should get a joint account and put money in there for bills and whatnot. i don't know if he will be happy to share the other bills though as he has been quite happy paying his little three bills.

please keep commenting on my story. you're quite a help.
thank you
melx

CosmoCat

OberonSH wrote:

Hey melabarrie,

A friend of mine used to whack everything on her credit card, then I asked her to work out how much interest she was paying on her handbags etc, and if that was the price in the shop, would she pay it. It worked out a handbag she bought for £50 was actually costing getting on for £75 when she added the interest she would pay by not clearing the card off. She ws shocked.

hi there oberonSH.

you know i've never really thought about this in that way!!! what a clever sort you are! thank you. i'm gonna write out "HOW MUCH DOES IT ACTUALLY COST" and stick it on my wallet! you're a star, thank you.

lynzpower

OK, mel

I would definatley do that for a start off. I personally think its tremendously hard to manage any other way. Say you get a massive gas bill and that comes out of "yours" its not fair to be doing that is it? What about contents 7 your life assurances? Surely if you have bought the place together you should be paying together. I bought my place alone & then OH moved in. I have a spare account for that, everything comes in and out of that, insurances, phone internet, mortgage, bills. If theres anything left over in there, which there seems to be a little left, we are leaving it there in case we want to buy anything for the flat, ie carpets, repaints, it copmes out of that, after all, why should all the furnishing of the falt come down to me alone? We share the food shopping though out of current accounts, so that if we overspend it wont affect the bills account & nothing will bounce.

The other thing to also suggest is that being an actor chances are you will be out of work at some point in the future, i know how fragile it can be, and you need something to fall back on at the very least if/when this happens. Im sure there is a way to set aside some money for these sort of emergencies.

CosmoCat

speaking of massive gas bill, we did just have one of those from winter and yes it did come out of my account, that's how i finally managed to set up monthly ddebit.

i pay all insurance (pet and home/contents) and service charges, that also comes out of my credit card.

as for saving, as i said before, i'm always playing catchup, pay off debts while i'm working, rack up debts when i'm not working. this added to my apparent shopaholism doesn't bode well for me.

lynzpower

Your paying your insurances on your CC!! Hun, you really cant be doing that.

Get yourself to https://www.quidco.co.uk and get cashback for setting up a new bank account. It doesnt require an overdraft. All the bills need to be coming out of this and this only, its the only way both of you can keep track!

Have you done the budge tplanner with your OH, and taking into account what hes paying and where and how much. You need to shine a big light on all this to see whats where, and not on your lonesome either

CosmoCat

i have to say that i'm a little nervous about taking this up with OH now. not that he'll be angry with me or anything. but our money talks tend not to be too pleasant. and all he'll be able to see is that i racked up the debt, so i should pay it, never mind the debt includes bills.

do you know if it's difficult moving things like mortgage ddebits and the like?

CosmoCat

So this is how the conversation went this morning:

Me: Honey i'd like to talk to you about opening a joint account.
Him: Why?
Me: So that we can have greater control of the money that we use to pay bills and such.
Him: But I already give you money (slopes off irritated)
Me: Don't you think it would be good to have one place where money for things like pet and home insurance come out, instead of me paying it by credit card.
Him: (truly irritated now) How much do you need then?
Me: (trying hard not to become irriated as well) I've not got to that yet, just wanted to know if you thought it would be a good idea to open a joint account?
Him: you want to watch this movie now?

Conversation left unfinished.

My hubby is not an unreasonable sort. he is a truly wonderful and helpful person who would give me his last dime. but he does not like discussing money and money matters.

will try again soon.

Chortle_2

Perhaps you could begin by getting a new account (doesn't have to be joint) and get him to pay the amount he already gives you into that each month, so that it is not swallowed up with all of your own expenses. Once it is up and running, you can then have the conversation about going truly half and half, and maybe getting him added to the account, if he isn't already.

It is important to be able to budget for bills etc properly (and never to put insurances etc on a CC!) - and a seperate account is by far and away the easiest way. Even if OH isn't fully involved from the start, it really would make a huge difference to you being able to see the wood from the trees. You also NEED to set up a seperate savings account, to put your tax in each week/month when you get paid - and it is extremely important that you do not dip into it!

CosmoCat

Chortle wrote:

It is important to be able to budget for bills etc properly (and never to put insurances etc on a CC!) - and a seperate account is by far and away the easiest way. Even if OH isn't fully involved from the start, it really would make a huge difference to you being able to see the wood from the trees. You also NEED to set up a seperate savings account, to put your tax in each week/month when you get paid - and it is extremely important that you do not dip into it!

Yes i suppose you're right, i'm at the minute looking on the net for the best current account for me. a&l current account gives me £50 cashback through quidco and 5% until june 2007, but lloyds tsb gives me £50 signing up bonus, so don't know which one to do.

thanks for such good advice:j

lynzpower

Doesnt really matter, as effectively this account should break even really.

Its easy peasy to change DDs from bank to bank, as long as you ask the company to do it and not the bank in my experience!