Need Some advice re awkward situation & classmate

mrbrightside842

Was he doing it in a way to make sure you saw it? It seems a bit odd for him to type it in and just expect you to see it. And if he didn't expect you to see it, then why would he put it there? Maybe he's seen you looking beofre and doesn't like you watching him putting his password in and so put something there to make you wish you hadn't looked.

mountainofdebt

I think everyone needs to get a sense of proportion here.

There is nothing in the original post that has suggested that this man has a crush on the OP other than using a slightly weird login details but if the OP has a common name then it could be that he is referring to someone else. Nor has it been implied that this man has done anything else to make the OP uncomfortable.

Unless he does something to the contrary then I don't see the need to change sitting arrangements.

If you feel nervous about going home in the dark though, I would get a panic alarm - but I think this would be a good idea even if you didn't have reservations about this man.

focus888

Proc wrote: »

If you go looking for information you don't want to see, you'll find it. I once made the mistake of reading my girlfriend's diary. Never again. What people think and what people say are always very very different.

You're best of just sitting elsewhere.

I wasn't trying to snoop, i sit right next to him, glancing over isnt stepping over any boundaries.

Zazen999 wrote: »

Sit on the end of a row and get your chum to sit next to you.

She used to sit next to him but he made her really uncomfortable too and thats why she always sits at the end and i sit next to her. So we are both not really happy to sit next to him because theres something about how he only talks to us that makes us really uncomfortable. Its hard to explain.

simpywimpy wrote: »

what sort of age are you? Are you under 18?
You could swop seats with the female so she sits next to him next week.
Is your name quite common? It could be the name of his partner.

I think you should move away first. If he then makes an attempt to move next to you or something, you could have a quiet word with the tutor

No im not in my teens but its not the point. I cant really explain it but the way this man is just gives me and my friend the creeps and we arent happy sitting next to him. There are no seating arrangments, we just sit down where we can but she always sits at the end cos she doesnt want to have to sit down next to him. He always sits next to me. Unless i say something to him i dont know how else to not sit with him.

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I know to anyone who reads this it might sound childish but i am generally scared. Yes my name is a popular name but some things i would like you to consider, 1) our username is a set of numbers 2) he's not really even registered on the class yet so doesnt have anything on the system or login details 3) maybe his gf does have the same name but isnt it totally inappropriate for a older man to write that when he knows the young lady sitting next to him has that same name? 4) im there to learn and this is really important to me and right now i cant concentrate on my course fully but more worried about what that man is going to do next.

I can speak to the teacher but that wont be until after the class so how can i stop him from sitting next to me for my next lesson. If someone could just tell me how i can say something to him that wont offend him (incase he is a weirdo and comes after me) but get him to not sit next to me or my friend? I cant just say 'do you mind sitting somewhere else because im not comfortable sitting next to you' can i??

Zazen999

Just wait until he has sat down, and sit somewhere else. Together or apart - it doesn't matter; how do you both get home?

It's not hard to explain, as I said earlier he is probably just a dirty old fart. But the moment he knows that you are reacting then he gets his kicks [if he is doing this for effect].

focus888

The class is really full, theres more people than seats, thats why i normally come early to guarentee myself a seat. if i came late i wouldnt even have a proper desk space to sit down. I couldnt just come early sit down and then wait until he sits down to move somewhere else.

Zazen999

Turn up just after he gets there then.....what happens to the others that turn up late?

focus888

the ones that turn up late have to go borrow a chair from another classroom and they just have to sit like right at the front - there is only enough desks for 20 students and we have about 22-23 students its a nightmare really.

Thank you for your advice. If that doesnt work i think im just gonna tell him i dont want to sit next to him. im wasting too much time worrying about this. I need to concentrate more on my studies.

Zazen999

focus888 wrote: »

the ones that turn up late have to go borrow a chair from another classroom and they just have to sit like right at the front - there is only enough desks for 20 students and we have about 22-23 students its a nightmare really.

Thank you for your advice. If that doesnt work i think im just gonna tell him i dont want to sit next to him. im wasting too much time worrying about this. I need to concentrate more on my studies.

Hi

Are there any other males on your course that seem ok? Can you befriend one just to sit next to you both? I really would at all costs not tell him that you don't want to sit with him; seriously - it means he will know he has got under your skin. You need to be blase about it [to him] and find other strategies of managing the situation.

But, also, do talk to the tutor and find out afterwards if he is actually enrolling and if not; can they kick out the ones that aren't as it is impacting on your studies [and presumably, you have paid for this and they haven't?].

Having been on personal safety courses; please trust your instincts; you say you are wasting too much time - but how much time is too much if it worries you?

Have a look online at the Suzie Lampugh trust website, for personal safety advice. http://www.suzylamplugh.org/

poet123

I am a Tutor, and I would hate it if one of my students was as worried as you seem to be and did not approach me to resolve the issue. If you have the tel no of the tutor contact them before the next class and explain the situation. I am sure they will find a pretext to seperate the class into sections which will mean this chap is seated away form you.

onlyforboards_2

Ask him if his wife's name is <your name>, when he asks you why say you saw his login details and it gave you the creeps until you realised he must mean someone else.