Help!

Nargleblast

You say you've been stupid - well, as I have said to others, I have a degree in Stupidity from the University of Stupid in Stupidtown. Due to life events and my own foolishness I have a lot of debt, more than the amount you owe, but I am doing something about it. The same applies to lots of people on here, and you are joining the gang. We support each other, that's what it is about. There is room to cut some of the costs mentioned in your SOA, but you will need your wife's help and agreement on this. Please cut up all your credit cards to save being tempted again. Try keeping a note of every single penny you spend - it's not being tight, it's being savvy with your cash. You will get through this but it means work and effort over quite a long time.

RAS

Lovely post NG.

James

You need to talk to the missus.

Part of this is about "you being stupid" and part of it is about completely unrealistic expections of what you can fund on your salary. And if she did not realise that, she is also "stupid".

AlwaysWorking

Nargleblast wrote: »

You will get through this but it means work and effort over quite a long time.

I agree wholeheartedly with this - you have to accept that your lifestyle needs to change if you want to pay your debt off.

I also agree that your problem is made more difficult by the fact you pay 50% of the bills when you don't earn 50% of the money coming into the household. You and your wife need to discuss this when you're detailing your debts.

james78_2

RAS wrote: »

have edited my post above.

You simply cannot expect to contribute half the household expenditure when you are on 40% of the income. Either you live somewhere you can afford or she pays 70 percent plus of the bills.

What is her debt situation like?

Cheers - this is really helping me out.

She has no debt (she had a credit card 2 years ago - fell behind and defaulted - she doesn't do credit anymore!)

Here are the answers to your questions:

Monthly Expense Details
Mortgage................................ 0
Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 200
Rent.................................... 1200 - is this London - yes
Management charge (leasehold property).. 0
Council tax............................. 200
Electricity............................. 40
Gas..................................... 40
Oil..................................... 0
Water rates............................. 20
Telephone (land line)................... 0
Mobile phone............................ 0
TV Licence.............................. 12
Satellite/Cable TV...................... 0 - where has this gone? Included with phone & internet (tiscali TV)
Internet Services....................... 25
Groceries etc. ......................... 300 - you can cut £100 off this - I know! I overspend....hoard even
Clothing................................ 200 - frankly, you need to stop and if she wants to help, she needs to stop for a while I know
Petrol/diesel........................... 160 - is this essential travel - Yes travel to work
Road tax................................ 18
Car Insurance........................... 50 - this is still high - I only have 2 years NCB, postcode pushes it up
Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 0
Car parking............................. 0
Other travel............................ 160 - is this her travel to work? Yes
Childcare/nursery....................... 0
Other child related expenses............ 0
Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 33
Pet insurance/vet bills................. 25
Buildings insurance..................... 0
Contents insurance...................... 20
Life assurance ......................... 0
Other insurance......................... 0
Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 0
Haircuts................................ 30
Entertainment........................... 160 - this needs absolutely skinning back say £10 for you. What to £10 or by £10???
Holiday................................. 0
Emergency fund.......................... 0



Cheers again!

james78_2

Nargleblast wrote: »

You say you've been stupid - well, as I have said to others, I have a degree in Stupidity from the University of Stupid in Stupidtown. Due to life events and my own foolishness I have a lot of debt, more than the amount you owe, but I am doing something about it. The same applies to lots of people on here, and you are joining the gang. We support each other, that's what it is about. There is room to cut some of the costs mentioned in your SOA, but you will need your wife's help and agreement on this. Please cut up all your credit cards to save being tempted again. Try keeping a note of every single penny you spend - it's not being tight, it's being savvy with your cash. You will get through this but it means work and effort over quite a long time.

Thanks - very incouraging...:rolleyes:

RAS

Cut your Ents down to £10. Enough for a couple of bottles of wine a month. or cheap cinema tickets etc.

james78_2

Thanks for all the advice - I had no idea there was a forum like this......


I don't want her to pay my debt but I'm unable to pay my debt on my own...

So I will speak to the CCCS and CAB and listen to the advice you guys are giving and sit down talk to my wife. I still like the sound of the IVA as it freezes interest and makes me debt free in 5 years.

I'm totally open to any advice.

Errata

I'm totally open to any advice

I hope you mean that and take this in the spirit it's offered.
By not telling your wife, does that send out a signal that you don't trust her to stick by you through thick and thin? She may do, but you won't find out until you talk to her and tell her that your debt is enormous, not the small amount she thinks it is.
It's unfair to leave her in the dark, you're partners and partners work together on their life together. She can't do this until you come clean.
Things will work out one way or another but it could be a very rocky ride for both of you.

AlwaysWorking

You said you 'hoard' food...so over the weekend have a look at the food you have in the cupboards/fridge/freezer and make out meal plans for next week that use those foods, hopefully you'll only need to buy fresh ingredients for the next couple of weeks which will save you a bit of money. Soon you'll be like the rest of us and get a buzz out of saving money and getting the dreaded credit card balances down! I just try to see it as a challenge and a lesson I'm glad I've learnt before I have children and the outgoings they entail! :rotfl:

james78_2

Thanks - your full of good ideas. I guess I didn't want to tell her as I'm ashamed of it and embaressed..

So i'll keep you guys updated....hey just put some stuff onto ebay too....