Is anyone else like this...think i have issues!!

gabyjane

If anyone has ever watched 'Monk' the tv show about the detective they will kind of know where i am coming from!

An example:
Found a bag i fell in love with ages ago and hunted high and low for it at the best price..found it in a local surf shop and got it ordered..all the time i was waiting i searched for it to check no one else had it cheaper and when it was due in at the shop i went to collect to find it hadn't been ordered at all..anyway went in on the off chance at the weekend and there it was! i picked it up and the lady recognised me and said glad i had popped in etc and got me one from out the back BUT while she was doing this i spotted a lovely leather one and decided that i liked that better..or so i thought i did! but i didnt have the heart to say no thanks to the other and bought the original one! Got it home and dh didn't like, i decided it was too big after my weeks of 'loving' it and that i DID like the leather one more so i would have to go back and change..'sigh sigh mummy' says dd!!!
SO went back this morning exchanged for the other one and i'm happy!

Same for our kettle & toater that i spent ages deciding on we now really dont like! too late now as had a month or so and the one we really liked that was around £80 is now £50 grrr

I'm like this with everything though and am really annoying myself about it..i really needed someone there this morning to advise me which size to go for in this new bag too as they has 2..grrr...i am hopeless at decision making!

I can decide for weeks on something and then buy it only to find the 'actual' thing i wanted is now on sale or the fact that i should have got the other one!

Anyone else like this or am i just strange!!

xxlaurissaxx

Im the same

I've never watched the monk show, but I do buy things, then see something better/cheaper/nicer and kick myself for it.

Reggie_Rebel

In that case you are both strange.

I suspect you are not the only two and that other members with your affliction will also be female

Red_Cat

I don't think it's strange, but I also do not think that Adrian Monk would behave quite like this when it comes to purchases.

Minxy_Bella

No, I'm not like that - I rarely change my mind once I've made a decision about purchasing material things and I wouldn't dream of taking something back if I'd just gone off it.

gabyjane

Lol oh good Laurissa!! only us then!
Red Cat no i guess not as iv'e not seen him buy a handbag as yet! i know what you mean i meant in the monk way i am picky and finicky like he is..my sister will vouch for this as i am unable to go into a shop and just choose something i have to go through everything and make sure i have the right one/thing!..things in the house have to be right too..i sit looking at things making sure they are just pefect!...oddly though i don't have a show home house but it is tidy!

kezzae

gabyjane wrote: »

Lol oh good Laurissa!! only us then!
Red Cat no i guess not as iv'e not seen him buy a handbag as yet! i know what you mean i meant in the monk way i am picky and finicky like he is..my sister will vouch for this as i am unable to go into a shop and just choose something i have to go through everything and make sure i have the right one/thing!..things in the house have to be right too..i sit looking at things making sure they are just pefect!...oddly though i don't have a show home house but it is tidy!

Ermm me too!! Im exactly the same and it drives my hubby mad!!!

The thing about the house, my hubby insists Ive got ocd. We had net curtains and if one was hung out of place I would spend ages fiddling with it , it would drive my hubby insane. He soon sorted that out though, we now have blinds!

I spend hours searching for the 'perfect item' and I am never satisfied with it when I get it.

Theodor

Fully agreee with all of you

gabyjane

lol kezzae i'm like that too!! today when i had chosen my bag and checked it all over for marks etc the man said 'ill just get one from out the back for you' i was like 'noooo'!!! haven't dared look at this one yet!!

sarymclary

For a serious answer:

Perhaps you need to take more time choosing what you buy, and really 'try it on' beforehand.

The character Monk suffers quite severely from OCD, which is a side-effect of a complete nervous breakdown he suffered after the violent death of his wife. I think you are confusing one of Monk's phobias, fear of imperfection, with your inability to make the 'right' choice.

I have a friend who displays similar behaviour to you, and I can relate her's to a desire to recreate a perfect world, when her own feels imperfect after a cancer diagnosis. Prior to her illness she would also be constantly comparing and marking herself, and her family, and their possessions, against other people who she perceived had more, or got it right. That stems from an inferiority complex inherent in her childhood homelife. She has spent years acquiring new, bright shiny things, but underneath she is fundamentally still the same, and the possessions cannot change that, despite her wanting to appear to have. So, she has a bigger house, a newer car, the pedigree dog, the electrical items in abundance, etc., but underneath she still suffers from inferiority, and a need to try to compete.

Do you lack confidence in your own choices? Is it the thrill of the wanting, rather than the having that drives you? If so, perhaps you need to look a bit deeper into that desire, and wanting, and examine what that fulfils in you, that the having cannot.

I believe there is a distinct difference between wanting to get the best deal, and checking out the various choices on the market, and needing to return items, and feeling dissatisfied with them having done all the research beforehand.

Perhaps seeing this from a different perspective may help too. Does the kettle heat the water, and does the toaster toast the bread? If yes, then what is the problem with them? Were you expecting that they were going to be more of a design or status symbol in the kitchen? What did you want them to say about you, rather than just being functional appliances?

There have been cases of people (particularly women) who have become compulsory shoppers, buying items for the 'buzz', taking the items home and not even removing them from their bags, just putting them in a wardrobe. If you feel that this is becoming more of a compulsion than a habit, then I would visit your GP.

kezzae

There have been cases of people (particularly women) who have become compulsory shoppers, buying items for the 'buzz', taking the items home and not even removing them from their bags, just putting them in a wardrobe. If you feel that this is becoming more of a compulsion than a habit, then I would visit your GP.[/QUOTE]

I am guilty of buying for the buzz and having a wardrobe with items hidden at the back that have not even been used or de-tagged. I often buy things that I see on the spur of the moment and then when I get home I feel really guilty and 'beat ' myself up about buying it and question why I do it over and over again.
I also can spend hours/days online seeking out an item that i think i want to the point where it becomes an obsession, then when i get it, i realise that i dont want and go through the whole beating myself up thing all over again.

Example: We bought and my husband lovingly fitted our new kitchen. I wanted a round/oval shaped sink and drainer and it had to be stainless steel. I sought one out and we bought it and hubby fitted it. 2 months down the line i realised that i didnt want it anymore and wanted a big oblong one but in black granite. We bought one hubby fitted it and 6 months down the line from that one i decided i didnt like it and wanted a big oblong stainless steel one, so the pattern repeated itself and my long suffering hubby fitted the new shiny steel sink.
That night I went to bed feeling guilty and absolutley hating the sink and wishing that i had kept the round/oval one and crying into my pillow about why i keep doing this and hating myself for putting my hubby through it all the time.
Then I wake up to a new day and it all starts again............................