Jo's kick up the 'aris and motivational ramblings

jo1972

I guess it's time to get my ramblings out of my head and down on 'paper'. I've always read people's diaries but never had one of my own as I feel that people probably wouldn't be interested but I think that now that isn't really an issue, I need somewhere to get my head into gear

Things are v. stressful here for me at the moment and I think that maybe by writing it down and reading it, it might be easier to get my life in order

Firstly and also the sole purpose of this site, debt. I've always been bad with money. From the moment I moved out of my parents house and into my own place and had to pay poll tax and didn't have enough money for the monthly payment so decided to take out a £1000 loan (????) at the age of 18, spent the lot on lovely things and didn't pay the poll tax off, setting off a whole chain of consolidation loans over the following 10 years, last loan being for £13k :eek:

Have since paid off all my debts, very slowly. It's taken 10 years of token payments and instalments but they are paid. I have not improved on the money front, I still regularly miss payments, default on things and spend irratically which irritates me. I should not be allowed to have money as I have no thought of consequences.

My credit rating has been shot to pieces and is only just starting to improve, I was accepted for a Capital One credit card recently with a £500 limit. I was over the moon as this is the first bit of credit I've been able to obtain for 10 years, plus I wanted to use this as a credit repair exercise, ie. only use the card for small purchases, pay off every month etc etc. :undecided Within 2 weeks of getting the card, I spent the lot :eek: and can only afford the minimum payments :rolleyes: Luckily it's only £500 and so this is a good lesson for me, I can never be trusted with money or credit, possibly ever again!

Secondly, clutter. I feel that my head is cluttered, I can never remember anything anymore. My life is cluttered too. I live with OH and my 3 kids, we live in a 2 bedroomed council masionette and because of my past financial shenanigans I can not get a mortgage and probably will never be able to get one. We can't afford to rent a bigger place privately and have been waiting 3 years for a bigger place with the council, average wait is 8 years by which time DD1 will most probably have moved out and we won't be eligible anymore :rolleyes:

There are 5 of us living here and we have the stuff of 5 people, hence the cluttered effect. It is affecting me in a negative way, also I think it is affecting mine and OH's relationship. I hate coming home and having no space and nowhere to get away from the noise and 'stuff'.

Thirdly, lack of motivation. This bothers me, I want to get motivation. I have had it previously :rolleyes: and I do know that it's infectious. Once you feel proud about something you've done it spurs you on to do more. I need a kick up the 'aris to do 'something' and then keep going.

Over the past couple of years I have regularly signed myself up to all the challenges on here, but never seem to stick at anything. I want to be organised, I want to be OS, I want to fly for an hour a day so my house is spotless, I want make things to give as xmas pressies to save money, I want to be organised and make these xmas pressies in February, I want to have a sealed pot that stays sealed from Jan - Dec, I would love to be able to make £1k in 4 months etc etc...

So, in short :rolleyes: this is my motivational diary, to stop spending, start growing up and getting some responsibility, to find ways to make myself happier in my house and be proud of my achievements

I hope I've not come across as mauldin, lazy and depressing (though I think I probably did ), it's just the mood I'm in at the moment whilst trying to find my motivation and trying desperately to kick my 'aris into shape

Any words of encouragement, support or advice will be gratefully received. Anybody suffering similar thoughts, feel free to vent and hopefully we can help each other

jo1972

Okay in the minutes since posting my first post, motivation has reached around 5% which is good, no longer 0%. I feel as though a weight has been lifted slightly. I know what I need to do and I will now do it and record it and eventually be able to see where I've come from and all the things I've achieved

Off to make the kids something to eat (we had a late brekkie so this is late lunch ), egg on toast I think will hit the spot. Then you never know, maybe brush the dust off the hoover :rolleyes:

Thanks for reading by the way, that's, if you did of course :rolleyes:

ETA: HB I see you've read my first post, it's all your fault you know, you and your scary smilies :rotfl: thanks xx

hypno06

Well the main thing is that you are recognising what needs to be changed - that is a huge benefit, rather than the "head in the sand" stuff that we have all experienced in the past!

If you get half as much out of your diary as I get out of mine, you will notice big changes ahead of you!

Good luck!

missymoo81

welcome jo, welcome aboard!!! Having a diary has really helped me get and stay motivated, usually I'd start a new week with the best intentions but by tuesday my motivation had gone, but now I've had a diary for two weeks and my motivation is still going strong.

keep a spending diary is the best piece of advice that I can give, then it's obvious what you're spending your money on.

Lots of people will be along soon with advice and ideas.

good luck on your journey

Missy

honeybear_2

Hello sweetie

Have a cuppa:

I know you (sort of!) so know where you're coming from already but this was the most telling part of your post for me:

jo1972 wrote: »

I I want to be organised, I want to be OS, I want to fly for an hour a day so my house is spotless, I want make things to give as xmas pressies to save money, I want to be organised and make these xmas pressies in February, I want to have a sealed pot that stays sealed from Jan - Dec, I would love to be able to make £1k in 4 months etc etc...

That's an awful lot of wanting to be things that you're not & I think you might help yourself the most by accepting that you're not someone who is ever going to have a perfectly spotless & organised environment but that's ok.

That's not to say don't clean, tidy or anything but I think you're creating extra pressure for yourself by wanting it all to be done then getting overwhelmed then not doing anything, which kicks off the whole spiral again.

I think give yourself a lot of credit for the all things you do do - bringing up 3 children is worthy of a medal in my book alone - not to mention how much you support us all on the AF thread & make us laugh

And break things down into a very small chunks; if you can only afford the minimum payment, well at least you're paying something. Sealed pot only last a few weeks? Well you saved money for a few weeks. See what I mean?

But big bearhugs, sweetie, I think you're a star

xx

ps.

honeybear_2

jo1972 wrote: »

ETA: HB I see you've read my first post, it's all your fault you know, you and your scary smilies :rotfl: thanks xx

I feel quite proud :cool:

jo1972

Thank you Hypno & Missy for popping in, I definately think recording what's going on will help stop me wasting time and focus me on doing things I'm meant to

HB, excuse me, this is my thread, I don't want to see hoovers in it!!! :rotfl: thanks for the comments, you've hit the nail on the head (as usual :rolleyes:), I am a control freak and do like to do everything myself, plus will except nothing less than perfection....I need to lighten up don't I?

Thanks all xx

SarahNeedle1872

Hiya jo, just seen that you have started a diary! 3 kids in a 2 bed must be tough!? Is there anyone that could have them for a couple of hours so that you and OH could spend some time together, or for you to get some 'me' time?.... if not, just lock them inthe garden for a couple of hours

jo1972 wrote:

I want to be OS, I want to fly for an hour a day so my house is spotless, I want make things to give as xmas pressies to save money, I want to be organised and make these xmas pressies in February, I want to have a sealed pot that stays sealed from Jan - Dec, I would love to be able to make £1k in 4 months etc etc...

Me too please! When you discover the secret, let me know :rotfl:

Sx

So_Sad_Angel

Hi Jo

Just wanted to pop in & say good luck & happy ramblings :j:j

Have you tried a `3 a day` plan ?? I have tried a diary but it does`nt work for me but I do use a filofax to write down 3 things that I must do every day....only 3 as any more become too much & has the opposite effect.

Then at the end of the day I tick off what I have done & carry forward the odd thing that I don`t manage that day.

LOL at the moment one of them is to be AF !!

What do you `make` as presents? I know someone who makes homemade christmas cards, wraps them in pretty cellophane & sells them on ebay!! She does quite well too.

Oh dear I did`nt come here to ramble on ....just to wish you good luck on your shiny new diary.

Hugs Sweetheart.

Angiexx

jo1972

SarahNeedle1872 wrote: »

lock them inthe garden for a couple of hours

Have you not seen my garden? If I put em out there, I'd never find em again :eek: :rotfl:

Thanks for popping in, please pass by again

So_Sad_Angel wrote: »

Have you tried a `3 a day` plan ?? I have tried a diary but it does`nt work for me but I do use a filofax to write down 3 things that I must do every day....only 3 as any more become too much & has the opposite effect.

What do you `make` as presents? I know someone who makes homemade christmas cards, wraps them in pretty cellophane & sells them on ebay!! She does quite well too.

Oh dear I did`nt come here to ramble on ....just to wish you good luck on your shiny new diary.

Come on in and ramble away, the ramblings in the title don't just have to be mine

The '3 a day' plan is a good one, in fact a very good one. I will hatch a 3 day'er for tomorrow, obviously too late in the day now to be doing anything in too strenuous :rolleyes: :eek: HB's not about is she :eek: :shhh:

I've been inspired by the threads over on the occasions board for crimbo, people making amazing presents like snowman soup (scroll down to post #12) and turning a pint glass and a pair of white socks and black socks into a pint of guinness I want to be that organised!! Plus I would love to make a job lot to sell at the Xmas Bazaar at the school and make us a huge profit (I'm on the PTFA ).

Feeling quite a bit more motivated and feel a listed plan coming on, must not run before I can walk though (don't think there's any fear of that :rotfl:).

Waiting patiently for DD1 to come home from work, she finished 20 minutes ago and works 10 minutes walk away :rolleyes: problem is I prepay electric and have 20p left....a little concerned it might all go off before the end of Come Dine With Me :eek:

EssexHebridean

Hi Jo - glad to see you've taken steps into diary-land. :beer:

I have a lot of sympathy with your situation - I see I now have competition in my claim to being the worlds most disorganised person! The hilarious thing is, the girls on here think I'm super-organised and together....strange eh?! The secret? Writing things down. I need to do ten things before the end of the week? Write a list - tick things off it as done. (Warning - this gets super-addictive so baby steps on this one - start with small lists (3-a-day sounds like a great plan!) and work up slowly. Memory awful and can't remember important stuff - like the date a payment is due? Write it down. This diary is great but you need a real-life one too, AND a calendar. Two calendars if that helps. There are dedicated "organiser books" available which I know a lot of the OS board stalwarts swear by - you might find that a normal diary & calendar will do the trick though.

You ideally need to get yourself an SOA drawn up - there are folk on here who can dissect one within seconds and show you you actually have far more spare cash than you thought you had.

Other little things....decluttering, a little at a time. Pick one area that you know you can tackle, or try a ten-minute tidying trail....pick up something from one room which doesn't belong there, take it to its rightful home, then find something that doesn't belong in THAT room, and so on....simple but effective. Inititally choose areas which will make a big visual impact as that's where the biggest feelings of success come from. Tell the kids that their room is their responsibility to keep tidy - that's one less room for you to worry about.

So far as debt-busting is concerned, it sounds like you have a credit card to be sorted now there there is your first "money-challenge" - how soon do you want it paid off and how are you going to do it? There is a clever tool out there on the net somewhere that you can put all your details in with minimum payments etc and it will tell you how long it will take to pay off - that, I suspect, will provide all the motivation you need!

Good luck, and I look forward to you realising in due course that you're not as disorganised as I think I am! :rotfl:;)