options for lesbians to have children?

zildjian09

my girlfriend and i have been together for 4 years and we have started to talk about having children. ideally, my girlfriend would like to give birth rather than adopt, as we wanted a newborn baby and we are of the understanding that we would not be able to adopt a newborn.

obviously ivf is costly and not guaranteed so we were considering using an anonymous sperm donor.

is there anyone with any experience of this and any concerns/problems they came across? obviously having a child is a major step and we want to have as much advice as possible before we decide the best option.

thanks for your help x

kindofagilr

Sorry I have no experiecen but I wanted to say good luck

notakid

I know two gay couples who have had IVF to have their own children. The first couple have one child, the other couple have two, both have given birth to a child in that relationship.

They both (I only know the one side of the partnership in each case seem really happy and content.)

Sorry i can't help with how they went about it, or how much it cost as I no longer work with them both.

But good luck! I know they both really enjoyed motherhood.

**confuzzled**

Hi OP I have no knowledge of this but I did find this thought it might help, assuming you haven't seen it already:)

Good luck and I wish you all the best x

zildjian09

thank you, that article was helpful.

thank you for all the good luck wishes, it is nice to have people's support

CG77

Hi Zildjian,

With regards to adoption, although you're correct in that you wouldn't have a newborn baby placed with you (as assessments etc need to be done and this takes time), it isn't unheard of for adopters to have babies as young as five or six months old. Although this can mean a longish wait (a couple of years or so), it can and does happen much sooner than this. Have a look at www.adoptionuk.org There's a lesbian, gay and bisexual message board on there, where you could get some info if you like.

All the best whichever route you choose!

CG. x

Bitsy_Beans

No experience in this area but wanted to wish you luck in your attempts to become parents.

trudiha

I've sent you a private message about another place where you can find information about lesbian conception and parenting options.

Best wishes.

pinkneonmartini

if your looking for an anonymous donor you should check out http://www.ngdt.co.uk/ have you thought about going abroad for donors? places like Cryobank offer big services for small fees, and it's the kind of service you simply can't get in England = www.cryobank.com Plus you can have a holiday I hope to be in your shoes one day, i'm ready but the Mrs isn't

prowla

If you wish to conceive, I think there has to be a man involved somewhere in the procedure.:D

Whilst wishing you well, I would suggest that one of the partners in the relationship cannot be physically tied to the child, and this would always have the potential for there being a one-sidedness towards the natural mother.

pinkneonmartini

prowla wrote: »

Whilst wishing you well, I would suggest that one of the partners in the relationship cannot be physically tied to the child, and this would always have the potential for there being a one-sidedness towards the natural mother.

ok, sorry but this comment has brought out the lesbian developmental geneticist in me! They can BOTH have genetic links to the child. Lady1 donates egg, this is fertilised by donor1, and impanted into Lady2. The foetus then acquires mitochondrial DNA from the incubating mother, through the shared vascular systems. It may only be a small percentage, but it's there for life luv!

There will always be a little bit of BOTH mothers in the child, and no-one is left out as one provided the gamete and the other provided the womb!


btw OP you might wanna look at this: http://lesbianlife.about.com/od/families/a/SpermBank.htm