I'm gonna wash the debt and the man right out of my hair!

wannabedebtfree_2

Keep going, it will get easier I'm sure........

Its totally understandable that you miss your hubby, love doesn't just switch off overnight so you need to give yourself time to grieve, when you think of the nice 'little things' that he used to do remind yourself of the horrid 'big things' that ended your relationship.

You and your son do not deserve to be last on the list after alcohol, gambling and other women, no-one deserves that!

xx

cherrylips30

You are an inspiration! Stay strong xx

lilmissmup

Hiya hun.

Just wanted to welcome you here, i am recently single after a long term relationship so i completely understand the missing the little things.

My ex drank a lot but his main issue was weed, he didn't want to grow up and commit with me and a family so he left me

Have a good time when your sister visits. I am off to London this weekend for a break, cannot wait.

honeybear_2

Hi there

Sounds like you've been having a pretty bad time of it (being polite for the boards' sake). I really admire your attitude & wish you loads of luck in working your way through all this

You go, girl!

:T :j :T

munkiemunkie81

Urgh
One weekend gone along with £150.
Feeling so down today in the aftermath. £50 a day and not much to show for it except a smile on my mums face.

I now have £11 left in my bank account and my car is running on fumes so theres £10 gone! - Genius Jen! On top of that all I feel like doing is spending what is left on biscuits because i'm so so very hungry!

Why is it so hard to say NO to people? I thought i'd do better than this.

munkiemunkie81

Phew I forgot about....£80 Child Benefit!

I am rescued!

I'll fill the car up with £20 to last to the end of the month and beyond and then buy food for home with the remaining £71 - might set myself a challenge to only spend £50 of it and put the rest towards xmas because I only have £20 towards that at the moment!! Eek Thats not going to get me very far!

2 weeks till payday! Least all the bills are paid till then!

munkiemunkie81

Right ok - dusting this off...
I've done a month (well 3 days off) working my !!! off to stop spending money I dont have on things I don't need.

This weekend I had my biggest challenge. (Quite pathetic and shameful now i've read it back )

One zebra sequinned dress, tried it on and fell in love. I looked and felt amazing - my mum always said you should buy anything that makes you feel that way. I was all set, draped over my arm ready to walk out to the tills and pay until my sister said - how much is it. You know what i hadnt even looked, I never have in the past, I'd just take it to the till swipe my bank card without even a second thought. My heart filled with dread as I sought the tag and I nearly cried right there and then when I saw it was £90. OMG. But it was perfect, totally made for me, I could wear it a few times over xmas and be gorgeous. My sister said - i'll sub you till pay day. Not the point - I have £120 in the bank already that i won't spend before wednesday payday - the point is that its £90 on a dress that will last 3 wears and be stuffed into my wardrobe never daring to step out again.

I gave the dress to the fitting room lady and walked away, went to dotty Ps and bought a couple of t-shirts instead. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW DEPRESSED THAT MADE ME FEEL! Bleurgh.
Guess its always going to be like this from now on - maybe i will appreciate things more -I know it probably sounds stupid and pathetic to anyone reading but - I had debt before my marriage broke down, sure, but with £5k a month coming in it wasn't anything that crippled us, we were paying it off and living very comfortably too. Its just that when we werent so well off in the early years it was me that took on the debt to buy things we needed, to cover the loss of wages through his redundancies and now its me on my own left paying it all off.

It has been a weekend of bad feeling all round really. I had a date on Saturday night. It was nice, I was having a great time, enjoyed his company etc and there has been an attraction there for a while, we went back to his to 'call a taxi'. It all went downhill from there! He had too much to drink, fell over and sent me flying into a wall and then as he picked me up he tried to kiss me a little too heavily. It was like being with my husband all over again. The dread of him coming home after a bender and trying to climb ontop of me with his stinking alchohol breath. Needless to say i made my excuses and left sharpish.

Anyhoos its now perfectly clear that I shouldn't combine dates and drinks - at least for a little while anyway!!

On top of all this my XH has been sending texts every half hour all weekend asking all sorts of questions i don't want to answer and being overly nice about things. Asking if i want to do happy family things with him. Its hard saying no and letting him down because i know he must feel very alone. He has no-one, when i left I took all the family that ever cared for him with me, his social life, his child and I would guess he misses me too. He says as much. Thats because i never made him pay for all the things he has done to me until now because I dont do shouting and screaming, i'd spend a day without talking to him and then he'd say something funny and we'd move on. I'm trying to fend off his invitations at every opportunity with tact, care and thoughfulness for how he might be feeling but i'm running out of lines and Its getting so hard to resist saying - p1ss off and leave me alone! Maybe thats what i need to do though?

I still desperately want that dress......

lilmissmup

I think you should get that dress hun.

I spent £150 on clothes from Next this week.

So what if you only wear it a few times thats £30 per wear and you sound like you deserve a nice dress.

Sorry the date went well, would you give him another chance? I know what you mean about the bender thing though, my ex used to come home steaming and want sex and then used to moan at me that I didn't love or fancy him when I said no :rolleyes:

Bah to XH too, luckily I have no need for contact with mine but he text me last week, first texts he initiated since the split really, am hoping he doesn't anymore.

munkiemunkie81

Dunno it was only a 'just for fun' date anyway so i'm not sure. I wasnt too impressed!

lilmissmup

Oh well plenty more men around in the world!