how to get spark back

toile

Hi All
we have been married 30+ years and have become so set in our ways that i am wondering how to make things better. I have tried to explain to Dh that we need to make time for ourselves, make the most of any free time (very rare occurance). I booked a weekend away, we had a good time and suggested other things we could do. DH however only ever wants to go to his local pub, he enjoys it so why go anywhere else he says. I don't enjoy pubs, I have a slight hearing problem and find it difficult to hear with a lot of background noise. I have explained and he says he understands but makes absolutly no effort to compromise. He never ever suggests that we do anything together, if i organise something he will go along with it, but i feel he is only going to shut me up. I am beginning to think that maybe he dosn't want to go anywhere with me. any advice out there. Thanks

The_Banker_5

Start doing things on your own.

Tell him you are going to book yourself into a nice hotel next weekend and have a few days away. Tell him if he wants to come with you he is welcome but if he doesnt then he can stay at home.;)

toile

thanks for your response, you know i had thought of that as well, but the thing is he would propably come too, and i would be thing that he is only coming out of some sort of duty, what i really want is for him to suggest something so i would then know he wanted to go.

The_Banker_5

Start dropping little hints to make him jealous.

Just say things like...........


Isnt there some interesting people on the internet.

Ive got 5 friend requests on facebook from blokes I dont even know......shall I allow them?

Start calling him Tom or Harry by mistake.;)

toile

now there's an idea! i may just do that. Also seen an advert for salsa dancing for beginners....no partner needed very tempted just hope the hip holds up!

The_Banker_5

toile wrote: »

now there's an idea! i may just do that. Also seen an advert for salsa dancing for beginners....no partner needed very tempted just hope the hip holds up!

Youre getting the idea.:D

toile

you may have created a monster here!

pennyocs

thats exactly what i was about to say start doing something you enjoy on your own,when he sees how much you are getting out of it he may realise what hes been mising out on.
worked for me lol only 20 years toggether though,same situation we never did anything together until i met up with some old school friends and started going out with them having fun and i think it made me more like i was when we met because i was having fun just being me and he realised what made him love me in the beginning.

toile

thanks pennyocs. He is a lovely,hardworking,kind person i just want us to have some fun together, probably nearly empty nest syndrome but i think if we don't sort it out now we will be one of those couples who go out and just stare into space cos they have nothing to say to each other. Yes we are both knacked and yes money is tight but i think 30+ years is worth making the effort for.

mandi

Dont ask him what he wants to do ....... TELL him .in very explicit detail what you have in mind ,men love to be dominated

Bella79

Tell him how you feel and that he really needs to sit up and take note as things can not carry on like this

My hubby never seems intrested in going away for weekends etc so i always organise them and drag him along but once hes there he unwinds and we have a fantastic time

Helps to keep the spark there or if money is tight how about (i know it sounds corny) a date night ? rediscover why your together in the first place

Hope it helps
x