Should we help pay for the wedding?

Poppy9

Tondella wrote:

just thought I'd chip in. We're paying for the majority of our own wedding: my mother (mother of the bride) is paying for the food at the reception (but not drink), my dress and has lately offered to pay for me and my bridesmaid to have bouquets. My mother-in-law to be is paying for the photography, which will come in at £900

Isn't the food the most expensive part of the wedding?

Rachie_B

i agree with poppy and ellie

we got married in july 04 and yes both sets of parents contributed ,we all went thirds if you like lol

but we didnt expect it and neither set of parents had loaned us 10k before either !! lol

you have no need to feel guilty,agree with pthers ,offer to pay for something for the Uk reception and leave it at that

Penny-Pincher!!

Nephew is getting married later in the year and his photographer os costing £1400:eek: apparently this is quite reasonable

PP
xx

VickyA_2

Penny-Pincher!! wrote:

Nephew is getting married later in the year and his photographer os costing £1400:eek: apparently this is quite reasonable

PP
xx

Some friends who got married last year paid that. I was horrified.

In comparison, ours is costing £400................. Which I still think is expensive!

Rachie_B

Penny-Pincher!! wrote:

Nephew is getting married later in the year and his photographer os costing £1400:eek: apparently this is quite reasonable

PP
xx

OMG !! we paid £300 for pics and videography and i didnt even want to spend that much really :rotfl:

my SIL paid loads for a really popular,really expensive !! local photographer,but the pics just sit in an album so i dont see the point
dont get me wrong they are nice to take out and look at and watch the video now and again but who cares what they cost so long as they look good and capture the memories :beer:

some of the best / nicest pics we have were taken by guests and emailed to us after the day

Rachel85

Personally, I don't think you should feel obliged to contribute regardless, especially considering the money you have loaned so far and the fact that it will cost you a lot to contribute.

I am getting married the year after next and it will be paid for by my parents and me and my H2B combined.

However, I agree that it would be a nice gesture if you were to offer to buy something, however small - if you feel you can afford it. I wouldn't just knock money off the loan as this is a seperate thing. Why not offer to buy the wedding cake? I am sure your son and daugher in law to be would like it and it would mean you definately don't feel guilty!

flossy_splodge

Just to add my two penneth... Absolutely agree with the posters who have said STOP FEELING GUILTY! As to the loan. Suggest you open a separate savings account and ask them to pay in a regular amount each month, no matter how small and if sometimes they can add to that to speed up the repayment then all well and good. You will be able to track how much is repaid and earn a little interest back on a sum of money that would otherwise be generating a reasonable interest payment for YOU. Be tough. You will be doing them no favours to let this slip. Oh and I agree that it is appalling that they have booked such a wedding whilst still owing you so much money. The least they should have done is talked to you and ask for your blessing to do this whilst still in your debt. Be firm!:embarasse

BernadetteN

When we got married, we paid for our own wedding (cost about £1000 and most went on the dress) and would have refused a financial contribution if either sets of in-laws had offered (which they didn't).

There is no need for guilt. You have enabled your child to buy his own house and he has paid no interest on your loan - 3 years at 5% 10k would mean he's saved 1.5k interest already and that's quite generous. I would feel terribly guilty if I were your son though.

gingin_2

If you are all abroad how about offering to pay for a meal for all of the family the day before or after the wedding. We did this the day after our wedding and to be honest enjoyed it more than the day itself as it was much more relaxed.

It wasn't until I read your post that I realised that my inlaws never contributed anything towards our wedding. It has honestly never occured to me and so obviously was never expected.

*Louise*

Penny-Pincher!! wrote:

Nephew is getting married later in the year and his photographer os costing £1400:eek: apparently this is quite reasonable

A relative of mine has been quoted £2000 for pictures.:eek:

My Dad is a photographer, and charges around £200ish for a wedding...this includes an album of around 40 photos plus a CD-rom with up to 300 photos on it. But he doesn't rely on it for a living whch is why he is so cheap - he does it for the enjoyment of the photography.

Incidentally, he has offered to do our relatives photos with no charge (as a present) but hasn't been taken up on the offer.... Not very moneysaving of them....