Don't want disco/band - will guests be bored?

SuSu1871

Hi everyone! :wave:

I'm a regular MSE'r but am new to this particular board. My BF and I are getting married in summer 2011 and hope to keep to a budget of around £7,500.

As I'll be nearly 40 and he'll be 42, we don't want a disco or band - we'd rather have background music (MP3 playlist) and spend the evening chatting to our friends and family. Guest list will be around 80, including a handful of under 10s.

So, we're thinking of getting married in a hotel at about 4pm then after canapes and photos, sitting down to dinner at about 6pm. We don't want a top table or speeches or anything like that, and dinner should be over at about 8pm. We'd like the adjoining room (where the disco would be) to be set up with comfy chairs/settees so everyone can just relax and chat till the evening's over (about 11pm).

Thing is... do you think the guests would be bored?? Has anyone else been to a reception like this? I really don't want to cave in and have a disco/buffet because everyone expects it.

Advice/experience very much appreciated.

Cheers

sarah_elton

It should be the way you want it.

When one of my friends got married a few years ago, they wanted a quiet do (and were in their early 20s - your age doesn't matter!).

They had an early church ceremony, around 1 I think. We then had a barn type hall with a late ploughmans buffet lunch. After the meal, everyone hung around and chatted and things broke up about 6 ish. It wasn't boring at all.

shellsuit

I'm 33, and to be honest I would find it boring ~ sorry

I've never been to a function that hasn't had a disco or some sort of entertainment though.


ETA ~ I do agree with Sarah that it should be the way you want it, so it probably wouldn't bother me if the night was going to end earlyish, say around 7 or 8, but going onto 11pm, it would.

Meepster

I went to my cousins wedding earlier this year and they did something similar. Nearly half the people there (including me) went to the pub across the road where they had karaoke on...

frannyann

I will be 39 and OH 41 when we get married, looking forward to the evening disco as a chance to have a boogie to some cheesy 80's pop, laugh with our friends and generally unwinding after the stress of the past year!!

Editted to add: I have been to a wedding without, but like a previous poster it ended at around 6.30pm

BeenieCat

Yeah i think once people have had a few drinks they'll want things to liven up. But then again you know your friends best! I think the kids would appreciate a disco cos they'll be bored!

Horace

It does sound very boring to be honest with you, if you don't want a band or a disco why not have something else? Entertainment isnt just limited to bands or discos as there is a wealth of different ideas out there.

Maybe a photobooth, or even some games - I saw one the other day which was like a giant piano laid on the floor where people jump on and off the 'keys' to play tunes (it is linked to a large computer screen), or even something daft such as a De-Generation Game.

I saw these at Events UK (the photobooth was good because they even got me in there and I loathe having my photo taken but once the curtain was drawn I could do whatever I wanted and the photos look pretty good). https://www.pergolaphoto.co.uk

The Big Piano and a form of the Generation Game can be found at https://www.madprofessorltd.co.uk

The De-Generation Game is something provided by Paul Farris Entertainment https://www.paulfarris.tv (they also do varying kinds of game shows - so you could even have a family fortunes or whatever). These would be tailored to you.

Doing something is better than sitting around chatting as folks will most certainly get bored and will most likely abandon the party altogether and go and find some entertainment. 40 and 42 is no age at all - so by having a staid affair you are making yourselves out to be old and boring (don't mean to offend), leave the staidness until you are 100 and too old and possibly too tired to do anything other than sit around and chat.

frannyann

How about having a DJ tucked in the corner, playing some quietish background music for early evening and you can choose to 'disco' it up as the evening goes on??

Mme.Hibou

SuSu1871 wrote: »

Hi everyone! :wave:

I'm a regular MSE'r but am new to this particular board. My BF and I are getting married in summer 2011 and hope to keep to a budget of around £7,500.

As I'll be nearly 40 and he'll be 42, we don't want a disco or band - we'd rather have background music (MP3 playlist) and spend the evening chatting to our friends and family. Guest list will be around 80, including a handful of under 10s.

So, we're thinking of getting married in a hotel at about 4pm then after canapes and photos, sitting down to dinner at about 6pm. We don't want a top table or speeches or anything like that, and dinner should be over at about 8pm. We'd like the adjoining room (where the disco would be) to be set up with comfy chairs/settees so everyone can just relax and chat till the evening's over (about 11pm).

Thing is... do you think the guests would be bored?? Has anyone else been to a reception like this? I really don't want to cave in and have a disco/buffet because everyone expects it.

Advice/experience very much appreciated.

Cheers

Hi,

We're getting married on the 19th December this year (we're 26 and 38) and we won't be having a disco/band and like you we'll be having an ipod with background music, we started compiling the list of music about 12 months ago.

It hasn't crossed my mind that people may get bored, as they say - only boring people get bored and our families are far from boring

We're having about 50ish guests ranging from 6 months to 92 years, we're getting married in an old Manor house where there isn't enough room for a disco, people have the option of hiring a marquee but it has to be in a field and I don't fancy that in the pitch black in December!

We get married at 12.15 and it'll all be over by 10pm, we're providing all the food and drinks for the day and are treating it like a big family party - we've never needed a disco before!

We want people to relax and have fun and catch up, play games, have lovely food, a few drinks.

There'll be nobody nipping over the road to a karaoke at my wedding as there isn't anywhere for miles around.

I wouldn't get bored, I'd love it, makes things so much more personal. I'd much rather chat and drink red wine than dance around to Red Red Wine by UB40.

JenE_2

If you're not already set on an afternoon ceremony you could try what my best mate did...

They got married at about 10.30, then went to the reception (which was at her folks' house) and we had lunch and cake and speeches, and her and hubby left at about 5.30 for their hotel. We all headed off as quite a big party and made a night of it back in London. It was lovely!

Some other friends of mine had a 3-piece acoustic band who had us doing ceilidh-type dancing for a couple of hours in the afternoon and then didn't have a band or anything later - they also had some games, like giant connect-4 and giant jenga in the garden for us big kids to play with!

You do what you want to - it's your day and I hope it's lovely when it comes.

SuSu1871

Thanks everyone for your replies. Definitely given me something to think about. :think:

Much as we don't want a disco I might get my mate's band to play (they're v good). As 25 or so of the guests (my family) will have travelled about 250 miles to join us, they might want a "bit of a do" when they get there.

Will have to make sure the band knows there won't be a first dance, though - can't be doing with all that embarrassed shuffling from foot to foot stuff, and my BF just cannot dance :rotfl:

Thanks again...