How far does your child maintenance go?

1sue23

The money my daughter recieves from her ex is nothing ,he has become a student at the age of 46 and so does not have to pay a penny , he does work part time but this does not count apparently, strange thing is he goes once a month to Turkey too the appartment he has just purchased for cash .
And so the bank of grandparents pays for all of his childs clothing and shoes and am I bitter yes I am especially when he has the cheek to ask my daughter for a list of all her outgoings before he will put his hand in his pocket ,still its nice to know that our contribution enables him to belong to a lovely golf club and to drive a fancy car .

Viper_7

speedster wrote: »

my sentiments exactly. we had 2 under 2 in nappies and one on formula milk.

those alone didn't come anywhere near the £30 a week CB we get for them.

the arguement i get from the ex is that she puts a roof over her head. admittedly, she does, but it's a council house that she only got because she has our daughter. without her, she'd have either a private rent or a lump of a mortgage like me. council rent £300pm, private rent £650-700pm, mortgage 1k.

as far as i'm concerned, she lives, at the very least, £400 per month CHEAPER because she has our daughter. throw in CB, tax credits and council tax relief and she's not the one with the brown, smelly end of the stick.

then she moans about the food, gas, water and electric. of course, i don't have these bills on top of my 1k a month mortgage do i???? cos i live in a magic house.

perhaps if she hadn't cut my overnight stays to increase her csa payments, then her bills might be a bit cheaper eh?? she'd also get a whole lot more from me if she re-entered the human race. until that day, rissoles to her.

Can't just cut over night stays - it's nothing to do with the PWC. It's the childs right to see you and have quality time with you. Should be having at least 100 days of over night stays a year - so drops your maintenace by 2/7/
however this drop is nothing compared to your extra outlay, as I'm sure you're the one doing the taxi duties, and she her child benefits/tax credits etc don't drop by 2/7 so she ends up being even more quids in.

mitchaa

speedster wrote: »

my sentiments exactly. we had 2 under 2 in nappies and one on formula milk.

those alone didn't come anywhere near the £30 a week CB we get for them.

the arguement i get from the ex is that she puts a roof over her head. admittedly, she does, but it's a council house that she only got because she has our daughter. without her, she'd have either a private rent or a lump of a mortgage like me. council rent £300pm, private rent £650-700pm, mortgage 1k.

as far as i'm concerned, she lives, at the very least, £400 per month CHEAPER because she has our daughter. throw in CB, tax credits and council tax relief and she's not the one with the brown, smelly end of the stick.

then she moans about the food, gas, water and electric. of course, i don't have these bills on top of my 1k a month mortgage do i???? cos i live in a magic house.

perhaps if she hadn't cut my overnight stays to increase her csa payments, then her bills might be a bit cheaper eh?? she'd also get a whole lot more from me if she re-entered the human race. until that day, rissoles to her.

Exactamundo:T

What do you think your chances would be applying for council/social housing:rotfl:

Its a bi*ch of a world, but what keeps me smiling is the fact that their lives will 1 day change a hell of a lot for the worse when their child related income stops and they find that they dont even have the qualifications to make a sandwich.

It's not all rosey, that day is on a count down timer:D

Viper_7

Then they come after you for spousal maintenance - or any of your relatives inheritance!

ensure in a divorce you get what is known as a "clean break" and have it all approved by the court so they can't come after you for more later!

Viper_7

speedster wrote: »

my sentiments exactly. we had 2 under 2 in nappies and one on formula milk.

those alone didn't come anywhere near the £30 a week CB we get for them.

the arguement i get from the ex is that she puts a roof over her head. admittedly, she does, but it's a council house that she only got because she has our daughter. without her, she'd have either a private rent or a lump of a mortgage like me. council rent £300pm, private rent £650-700pm, mortgage 1k.

as far as i'm concerned, she lives, at the very least, £400 per month CHEAPER because she has our daughter. throw in CB, tax credits and council tax relief and she's not the one with the brown, smelly end of the stick.

then she moans about the food, gas, water and electric. of course, i don't have these bills on top of my 1k a month mortgage do i???? cos i live in a magic house.

perhaps if she hadn't cut my overnight stays to increase her csa payments, then her bills might be a bit cheaper eh?? she'd also get a whole lot more from me if she re-entered the human race. until that day, rissoles to her.

How did you manage to keep the house?! Usually with children involved it would be you that is turfed out - and you'd still be paying THEIR mortgage!
I pigging had to buy her a new house so she could bring up our daughter as she wasn't able to off her own back.

It's mad when it's about the interests of the child - ermm Judge look what I had before the marriage - look what she had. Look at my qualifications and job, now look at hers, don't give me that "She lost out on career due to raising the child" it doesn't wash. Don't give me the "She missed out on pension contributions because she was raising the child". As mentioned she can just about make a sandwich.

Why the hell do I have to the world upside down to provide my daughter and her mother what I was already doing quite happily and very well.
I should be the parent with care, I was the one that was doing the caring and providing. The "system" is far too black and white and automatically the child goes to the mother as it seems the father is just a pile of poop and doesn't know how to care for children!
She's been on two annual holidays this year on her part time job and all the benefits rolling in - I can hardly afford to go to Blackpool!

Interesting debate about pre-nups on BBC "have your say" - again!

1sue23

Viper_7 wrote: »

How did you manage to keep the house?! Usually with children involved it would be you that is turfed out - and you'd still be paying THEIR mortgage!
I pigging had to buy her a new house so she could bring up our daughter as she wasn't able to off her own back.

It's mad when it's about the interests of the child - ermm Judge look what I had before the marriage - look what she had. Look at my qualifications and job, now look at hers, don't give me that "She lost out on career due to raising the child" it doesn't wash. Don't give me the "She missed out on pension contributions because she was raising the child". As mentioned she can just about make a sandwich.

Why the hell do I have to the world upside down to provide my daughter and her mother what I was already doing quite happily and very well.
I should be the parent with care, I was the one that was doing the caring and providing. The "system" is far too black and white and automatically the child goes to the mother as it seems the father is just a pile of poop and doesn't know how to care for children!
She's been on two annual holidays this year on her part time job and all the benefits rolling in - I can hardly afford to go to Blackpool!

Interesting debate about pre-nups on BBC "have your say" - again!

This is a bitter man my daughter was left by her partner for another woman while she was pregnant , he got the flat they shared , he got all of the contents in the flat which was furnished by my daughter ,she came away with one suitcase of clothes and had to move in with me , He pays no maintenance never has does not see why he should and yet demands parental rights which he has never been denied .
His other child is on the at risk register he beats him with a belt , judge decided it was important that contact with the father continued , my daughter was threatened with prison if she refuses .
My daughter works doing what cleaning jobs she can to support her child ,she has 9 O levels and 3 A levels and a law degree is unable to get work to fit in around her child hence the cleaning as she does not want to be relient on benefits .
In the meantime he lives in the flat with her belongings and swans abroad once a month to the flat he purchased for cash ,when not doing this he is playing golf and having a very nice time all payed for by us the taxpayer, as he is a mature student he does not have to pay for his child we have checked apparently he can earn what he wants part time but still does not have to support his child and as he works for his well off father we have no proof of income
So you see it is not always in the mothers favour sometimes like my daughter life is one big struggle and am I bitter yes I am very much so , not for myself but for my daughter who trys so hard to provide a lovely home for her daughter

LizzieS_2

Lizzie, a child can be brought up on child benefit and child tax credits in their entirety no problems whatsoever. The amounts at max awards are very generous indeed especially if you are homed for free with a council tax exemption.

Some people on basic benefits do that. It does not mean that every child must be brought up on the bare minimum.

You are making assumptions
1. I do not get the maximum award
2. I have never been homed for free since turning 16
3. I have never had a council tax exemption (other than the 25% for being a single parent at one point).
4. Surprising as it may seem to you, there are lots of women out there who fall into the above 3 quotes.


Do not fool yourselves with gas/electric costs, the amounts are negligible....When you stick the central heating on, it doesn't matter if there is 1 person in the house or 100 in the house, you'll burn exactly the same amount of gas. As it is for cooking, when you put your 4 sausages onto the grill for your dinner, another 3 for your child is not going to increase the amount of gas used;)
Your other points have holes in them left, right and centre...

Cooking itself does not change the amount of gas/elec used - it increases the food bill. Washing increases gas & elec - if I had no children I would manage about 4 loads a week, with children that is nearer 20 loads. I have had to move to a larger house to accomodate bedroom space for the children - bigger house automatically increases heating bill.

A little generalisation perhaps but i would assume this is for the majority, not the minority....The NRP is very unlikely to be homed for free if they are in work and not responsible for a child, this is a cost that the PWC does not need to find if they are on IS as they will receive a roof over their head for free and an exemption from council tax, that the NRP will have to fork out for themselves.

Exactly IF on IS - there are a very lot of pwcs who do not get helf with housing whatsoever.

This could lead to real poverty for the NRP, as not only do they have to support themselves (probable rental in the private sector - What council/HA are going to give a home to a working NRP with no qualifying children?) they also have to fork out 15/20/25% of their NET income for their child that more often than not is a lot more financially secure (through the benefits system) than they are.

It is exactly the same for a working pwc - take it from someone who has lived BELOW benefit levels after housing costs.

Im not for 1 minute saying the NRP does not have a responsibility, of course they do, but this blanket 15/20/25% system clearly does not work and in my opinion anyway is grossly unfair.

It should be 15/20/25% of the NRP's disposable income AFTER their own essential life costs have been made.

Your opinion and you are entitled to that

A close friend of mine, has 3 children (1 with an ex, 2 with current) and because he is in arrears through no fault of his own he received £660 from his £1200 net pay. Out of this £660 he has to pay the rent and all his bills, run his car to go to work and feed his 2 children. On the other hand, his ex lives for free, gets maximum benefit awards and lives comfortably on benefits.

Comparing one situation does not give a clear picture of how everyone is coping.

He gets up every morning for a hard days graft, his ex gets up, takes the child to school and goes back to bed for the rest of the day. (Yes she is like that, drugs, parties etc)

Obviously he sees the longterm advantages of not being on benefits - something that will bite the ex one day.

The world we live in is crazy and this system is extremely unfair.[/QUOTE]

Certainly agree the world is crazy.

LizzieS_2

speedster wrote: »

my sentiments exactly. we had 2 under 2 in nappies and one on formula milk.

those alone didn't come anywhere near the £30 a week CB we get for them.

I wish those were the only costs, lol.

Soubrette

See what you've started PinkShoes

Can you see why, reading the views on the last few pages of this thread, that for some PWCs, the CSA, flawed as it is, is vital to legislate some NRPs into taking some responsibility?

Loobyloo - I do hope you can sort out your situation as it sounds totally unfair

Sou

speedster

LizzieS wrote: »

I wish those were the only costs, lol.

ha ha!! i was just stating the main expenses.

tax credits can provide pretty much everything else the sprogs need. i know. i have to pre schoolers and i dont really see any difference in our lifestyle since before they were born.

but then, we're careful and shop for bargains. ebay, freecycle, charity shops etc, etc.

we live a fairly simple life and i think, happier for it.

i must admit, hand me downs are a godsend. having a nephew a year older than my boy comes in VERY handy! :j

my mate, however is a totally different kettle of fish. he earns similar amounts to me, has NO mortgage, but spends an absolute fortune on tat for his little princess and has a mrs who just buys for the sake of it.

guess which one of the two of us is always moaning about being skint?