How far does your child maintenance go?

Dancing_Shoes

I am starting a new thread as we have hijacked poor nacsa's thread and it was going off topic.:o

For those of you that recieve child maintenace via csa or other method, do you feel it is a true reflection of what you spend on your child?
Same question for those on the other side that pay child maintenance, do you feel that your money is realistic in your financial contribution?

Soubrette

I had cause to work out how much my children cost last year - it was approx £6000, the ex (I estimate) put in about £1500 directly to the children - buying school uniform, bits of anyway - food, holidays etc while they were at his. So the breakdown last year was child related benefits approx £3000, my contribution £3000ish and his £1500ish. The costs were only direct costs not gas/electricity/mortgage/petrol etc

I earned approx £6000 and he earned approx £30,000 (only worked 3 months) last year.

No I do not feel that it is a true reflection of what they cost and in fact we are quite frugal in many ways (although we have several big expenses every year)

This year I am going to a Tribunal although we have already been awarded £35 a week from him for both girls as he declared he only earned approx £10,000pa. I went to the CSA not only because he was paying so little of his income directly towards the girls but because he also made some worrying remarks about how much he expected to support them in the future ie nothing at university etc despite his income. I spent four years without any child maintenance because I honestly thought he would look after his girls whom he used to adore (and still professes to )

Sou

Soubrette

oops - sorry I meant they cost me £6000, they jointly cost approx £7500 in total.

Sou

speedster

mmmm, interesting question.

a lot will depend on your tastes. i'm quite happy to get my kids feet measured in clarks, but if both littluns need new ones, you're looking at £60 and that's without trainers, wellies or slippers.

i take a note of the size, eg, 5e and search on ebay for them. i never pay more than a fiver for good used clarks shoes. we also buy bundles of clothes off that well known auction site. a good £45 bundle of used next, gap and adams clothes kitted my 3 yr olds wardrobe out completely last year.

we trawl the charity shops every few weeks or so and grab some real bargains for xmas pressies. in fact last week the mrs picked up a little tikes train track/ road set that sells for about £40 for £3.50. sprog wont care that it's second hand.

my ex wont do that, she insists on extravagence and expects me to foot the bill.

i'd say we've spent about £400 on clothes, toys and shoes for 2 pre schoolers this year. looking at about £100 each for xmas, (charity shops again!!)

foor is negligible for our 2 as far as i'm concerned. as a family we spend about £80 a week on shopping, we grow a lot of our own veg which helps out too. we don't do name brands we generally stick to stores own and keep a keen eye on bogofs and other offers.

our penny pinching is a small price to pay to have mum stay at home with the little monsters till they're at school full time.

no new cars (15 yrs old now!!) or flashy hols for us either, we have relatives on the south coast, and relatives on the north west coast, so cheap breaks at the beach too.

life is as expensive as you wanna make it as far as i'm concerned, so my ex's wailings fall on deaf ears as she has massively expensive tastes and cant budget to save her life.

also, the rubbish about child poverty gets my goat. shop wisely, don't drink (to excess)or smoke and chhose your purchases wisely and life is a bit more bearable. add on the plentiful benefits system in place in this country and the word "poverty" doesn't add up to me.

i watched c4 news tonight about the plight of the kenyan children being sold for sex to pay for their families food. that's poverty. not being able to buy a £50 pair of trainers or £35 xbox game this week aint poverty.

oldcarpetbagger

Housing Rent/Mortgage/Council Tax
Heating/Light/Appliances
Food
Clothes
Travel

Even if it is argued that the other parent should only contribute half these basic costs most are paying far short of this

shell_542

If both PWC and NRP are willing and able, wouldn't it be sensible financially to have 50/50 residence. Then both parents would be contributing a fair amount to the household costs. And just share the other expenses 50/50.

If an NRP has become an NRP by the PWC deciding they wanted to end a relationship should they be expected to run another household 52 weeks of the year with enough room for the child to stay in and then have to contribute to the other house the child is living in too, when they have the room for the child to stay there more often.

When I say able in the first paragraph, I'm obviously talking about parents who still live near eachother, close to schools, can practically have 50/50 residence. So obviously it wouldnt work for those NRP's who walk out and want nothing moree to do with the children, cannot see them so much due to work etc etc.

I'm not looking to be jumped on and called an idiot for proposing this if others think its a stupid idea, just thinking out loud about possibilities to over come the squabbles with CS.

brians_daughter

my sons csa payments pay for some of my sons activities. Thats it no uniform, no shoes, no food, no general up keep etc.

Thats my choice tho. The way i see it is the small amount of money i get helps pay for some extras that i couldnt afford otherwise.

It almost covers his football training twice a week, swimming lessons and cubs.

It doesnt cover any of the things he actually needs to do these activities ie cubs uniform, football boots, kit, shin pads etc but it pays for the actual activities.

As far as we (me and my son) are concerned these activities are as important as school as it gives him something else to excel in (football), a sense of belonging (cubs) and swimming is an important life skill

I would love split residence,and it would be possible as we live 5 mins walk from his dads and my sons brothers (from dad and new partner)also attend the same school as my son but sadly they are not interested in him being part of their lives...

I know that my NRP earns more than he is telling CSA - he states he only works 24 hours a week, but i have to pass his place of employment a few times a day and his car is there 8-5 mon -fri but i am beyond fighting him. 10 years of experience has shown me what a money orientated soul he is - and i truely feel sorry for him. I have seen our son grow and flourish into a great young man - unfortunately his father has had little enjoyment of this as his contact is sporadic and little -maybe a text every month or so..

jen_br

Im on the other end.... we pay about 250 a month for my step son.. and i think this is MORE then fair.. if you work on a 50/50 that means 500.00 per month for a child. I have my own child and ive had my step son live with me there is noway i even ome CLOSE to spending that!!

obviously you don't take into consideration your council tax, and rent as you need to live somewhere!! I think you need to be reasonable i believe CSA is going towards the childs upkeep but to think it should cover 50% of the household costs is foolish you can't think your LO are using 50% of the household costs.

some months like for school clothes i might spend more but theres a lot of months I dont spend even close to that.

Ivrytwr3

Mine gets me 5 - 6 pints a week in the local and few packs of 20 cigs; used to get me a lot more

Zara33

Ivrytwr3 wrote: »

Mine gets me 5 - 6 pints a week in the local and few packs of 20 cigs; used to get me a lot more

Dam you beat me to it :rotfl:

chriszzz

Dancing_Shoes wrote: »

I am starting a new thread as we have hijacked poor nacsa's thread and it was going off topic.:o

LOL!! :laugh: I will have to go back and apologise