im so ashamesd i wish the worse for me

clayton1106

ive been battling these debts for years, yeah, but ive been holding a secret from anyone for 2 years and most days wish i wasnt even here.

In 2007 i married my current husband, and as i had diar credit report, he agreed that any credit card applications would be in his name n id be an additional holder. brilliant, problem solved. Yeah right.

13 months ago in august 2008 he was in a car crash on way home from work, and because he did stupid hours, he always did online bill managment for everything which is understandable. However,... since the crash he has no memory of this credit card that we now hold from what was GE money now being santander, as a paypal mastercard. Owing £1700.00 at present, hes no memory of having had a van for work and a car for home, hes convinced the van didnt exist and reported to the police an abandoned vehicle on opur drive. So now amongst other things, because he doesnt recognise the credit card, hes not paying up bills,ive had to assign it to my dmp with his signature and permission, yet now, santander sent out a dispute form regarding transactions on it, he never actually disputed it with them though, and they want to investigate fraud, anyways hes ripped up the form, refusing to dispute it and has sent it back in a destroyed state so they cant continue the investigation (so he wreckons), hes sent a copy of our loan agreement which is part of 3 transactions on there. and despite this even though hes not disputing it, he still says he never got this card out. what do i do, he doesnt even remember where he use to live. Yet ive no written proof that this crash had this impact on him. I feel awful, even though no 1 could have predicted the crash, i feel like i should be paying the price if he wont remember.

daphne_descends

Clayton I am so sorry that your husband had this awful accident. I don't really know what advice to give but I didn't want to read and not post. I am sure one of the experts will be along to offer you some advice but please don't feel like any of this is your fault.

Tixy

Hi Clayton

Like daphne I don't really know what to say to help. Is your husband receiving ongoing medical support? Has been assessed for the physical damage and things like the memory loss? This sounds like more important than the current problem with the credit card (I know that does need dealing with) but you and he need to make sure he gets some sort of support. And it must be really draining for you all the time and you need support to.

Do you have family or close friends who have also noticed these problems he is having with his memory?

The other thing I want to say is that this is not your fault. Of course you could not have predicted his accident and you having historical debt problems has nothing to do with this. I know you know this really but I just want you to hear (read) someone else saying it.

Good luck and I hope someone can offer some more advice soon. Who are you using for your DMP? If its a charity organisation maybe they can offer some suggestions as to how to deal with debts he can't remember.

GeorgeUK

Clayton, sorry to hear about hubby.

As the debts are in his name, the banks probably won't talk to you about the debts.

Have you got anything from a doctor commenting on his memory loss or could you speak to the doctor if they are not aware of this?

Does hubby realise he has memory loss or is he just ignoring it?

If hubby realises that he has had memory problems, there is a way for him to see what has happened with transactions and financial agreements. He could issue a subject access request (SAR - cost £10) to each organisation which under the Data Protection Act will allow him to see all documentation and data held about him by a company. This will include any signed agreements that he's entered into.

clayton1106

Tixy wrote: »

Hi Clayton

Like daphne I don't really know what to say to help. Is your husband receiving ongoing medical support? Has been assessed for the physical damage and things like the memory loss? This sounds like more important than the current problem with the credit card (I know that does need dealing with) but you and he need to make sure he gets some sort of support. And it must be really draining for you all the time and you need support to.

Do you have family or close friends who have also noticed these problems he is having with his memory?

The other thing I want to say is that this is not your fault. Of course you could not have predicted his accident and you having historical debt problems has nothing to do with this. I know you know this really but I just want you to hear (read) someone else saying it.

Good luck and I hope someone can offer some more advice soon. Who are you using for your DMP? If its a charity organisation maybe they can offer some suggestions as to how to deal with debts he can't remember.

Tixy, my DMP with money worries as i didnt know dmps could be done for free, till i saw it on here , by then id already started it. Hes had 3 mri scans since, n refuses treatment cos hes 2 stubborn for his own good.

and georguk
hes seen all transactions and agreements with them,, hence why hes not disputing it, but he just cant recall any of it. Too top it all off, he did have medical notes, till the surgery got burnt down by vandals. The dmps in my name, n im the one with the bank account. but he has the good credit n the credit card account.

Horace

Clayton - the GP may no longer have medical records but the hospital will, have you thought of contacting the charity Headway as they provide help for brain injured people and their carers and maybe able to offer some advice https://www.headway.org.uk

clayton1106

will do that 1st thing tomorrow, nice one Horace

WASHER

As the medical notes are also computerised nowadays, I have it on good authority that GP's surgeries make back up disks/tapes and put them in the safe. Surely your husband surgery was computerisedI find it staggering that in this day and age no medical notes are available from the GP.

But having said the above, it doesn't really help your problem this minute, I think you need to call the charity Horace suggested and maybe call the CCCS, a debt charity.

LeeSouthEast

Does the card have PPI? It might cover you for these kinds of "life changing injuries" ? Just a thought.

bluebag

Clayton, you have no need to feel ashamed, you are dealing with a difficult enough situation with your husbands' accident without all the added stress of the debt. Headway should be able to help you and give you some much needed support. Wishing you well.

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Would just want to add something re your tax overpayts. Are you sure this is right. Tax credits told me I owed them £6K. I disputed it on the basis I knew I had advised them at all appropriate times of changes etc. Any error had to be theirs in my opinion. Took it to my MP in the end. It turned out that they owed me £1K! I am s/e so that makes it more complicated in my situation, but nevertheless it may be worth a double check for you. £2K plus seems an awful lot for them to adjust it by. Are you sure its not their error in which case you can pursue it? It may be one more thing to sort out, however take stock and be brave, I wish you well in your situation.