Boarding

straight

Hi

I wonder what peoples thoughts are on my dilemma.

I am a disabled single parent of three children. My eldest son has won a scholarship to a top, mainly boarding school. He started as a day pupil three weeks ago. He has a very long day, as the activities and homework are done after tea etc.

the school have asked whether I would consider him being a boarder, as he is finding the journey to and from school tiring. He seems quite keen as it means he will be alot more involved with his peers.

I know this is a chance of a lifetime for him, and that I should not stand in his way, but I am feeling sick just thinking about not seeing him on an evening. His younger brothers would miss him aswell. What should I do, please help!

smartpicture

How old is he?

Zazen999

Ask him what he wants?

kj*daisy

How old is he? If secondary school age and he wants to do it - I would let him have the chance.

never_enough

If he wants to do it then let him. He will be able to concentrate on all of the opportunities that are available, both educational & social. It will help him to integrate with his peers better too. I was a day girl at one of my schools & found it very annoying to have to leave just as all the fun started, I continually had to 'catch up' on all the news (& gossip!) You can always change if he isn't happy, but I suspect that he'll love it if he's settling in ok already.

BitterAndTwisted

Is there a bursery available to pay the boarding fees? Put aside your own reservations and consider for a moment what a wonderful opportunity this could mean for your child. If it's a good school he'll have a wonderful time and learn some very valuable life-lessons about living with other people he'd have to wait until university to understand otherwise. Imagine what a job you're going to have to get a word in edgeways once he's home for half-term, telling you all and your other two about all the exciting things he's been up to. It could prove a huge motivation to the other two as well, as an added bonus.

He's a very lucky boy

elliebobs

My father was in the Armed Forces so I went, through choice, to boarding school in the UK whilst my family were based overseas. This meant that I did not see them until the 'big' holidays. I, however, loved loved loved it...I'm independant now as a result and I have lifelong friends from those days and we all have a bond that is unique.

It wasn't a particularly top notch school so I can't comment education wise but from a building confidence point of view I would thoroughly recommend it.

Presumably you would see him at weekends; you'll find that the week will fly by and before you know it, it will be Friday again!

I say go for it, if it's what he wants. If he absolutely hates it and is thoroughly miserable is there any reason why he cannot be removed from boarding and revert to being a day pupil. (or day bug as we used to call them!)

My mum and dad probably missed me but, tbh, I was having too much fun to appreciate it!

P.S. I was 11 at the time

Debt_Free_Chick

Anyone I've known who boarded turned out to be a very together, well-rounded, responsible and mature adult.

It could set him up for life. And holidays together could be more precious - for all of you.

BitterAndTwisted

I boarded because my father was in the Armed Forces and it was hell on Earth! Luckily the OP's son won't be going there. I did learn some valuable life-lessons but they were mostly about how to tolerate neglect and cruelty as well as learning independence which I do value but it was at a terrible cost. Elliebobs was your school in London?

elliebobs

Bitter and twisted; no it was in deepest darkest Devon! Sorry you had such a rubbish time

msb5262

Hello OP,
A few thoughts...could your son do a week or two as a trial run, if you do decide to consider this option seriously? That way you could both really know what you were deciding.
I'm assuming he could be a weekly boarder - if you find it too hard for him to be away Monday to Friday, could he come back one night mid-week to see you and his brothers?