Rant - please excuse me!

In_Search_Of_Me

Big hug! One of the advantages of trying to get debt free is that you appreciate the important things in life (like being able to sit in your wee, lovely garden!! AM dead jealous as i dont have even a scrap of garden!!) & can recognise what is not important (like what towel you use to dry yourself with...like thats important eh!)...Last week my simple pleasure was the feel of lovely clean cotton sheets & it was free...some may laugh but as I've no dosh anymore (or trying to repay debt with any penny I have) the simple things become hugely valuable...
As for your friend she sounds quite rude, shallow & insecure to me & who needs friends who make you feel like S**7t eh?!! Are you able to have a chat with her & say how hurt you felt by her comments? Have to say she sounds like someone who probably wouldnt listen...(me being judgemental!)
You just keep on plugging away at your debt my girl, enjoy the little garden & look forward to the pure fantabulous joy of being debt free...and try not to gloat when your mate comes back to you for advice in 5 or 6 years time when she's up to her neck in debt!

Ali-OK

Aww ((hugs))

Real friends are those that like you for who you are and not what you have.

Anastacia

You maybe just growing apart as you get older but nonetheless you and your house are lovely! and if visitors dont appreciate you can send them away or just put up with it & feel nicely superior because you not so shallow !!!!

enjoy your home & life:beer:

Anastacia

dudleyboy

Just to reaffirm what everyone else has said, you're definitely doing the right thing. You've taken control of your own life, and finances, and while things can often seem hard going as you strive to be a DFW, it's worth it in the long run.

I found the experience as much a spiritual journey as a financial one... and while i must admit i sometimes do wish I hadn't gone without quite so much... in doing so i've realised fairly early on in life that material possessions are not the hallmarks of wealth and happiness... no matter what everyone else around us may say.

And when the day arrives where you can afford to furnish your life with luxuries then you know you will have earned it. Those rewards will taste even more sweeter knowing you've done it on your own and with your own earnings.

And if your "friend" (who, to be honest, i'd drop like the first dump of the day) says anything else, just reply "Well when I start telling you how to live your life, you can start telling me how to live mine". It always does the trick for me.

Spirited_2

*Hugs Caz*

If she knew about you being more careful with money then she was very insensitive, which might have been down to feeling insecure about her own lifestyle. She might have felt (subconciously) threatened by your lack of concern of things that she holds dear and felt that she needed to defend herself.

If she didn't know, then she was bound to stick her shallow foot in it. You also probably picked up on how extravagant her conversation was because you are focused on money (or the lack of it) at the moment. I wouldn't worry about it, and continue on with what you are doing. Believe in yourself. You'll come across people who don't understand what you are doing - just try and accept that and know that we are here for you to talk money to.

Are you sure that she's a good friend?

OberonSH

Hugs to you love. Friend sounds like a right jealous cow. Pity that some people seem to think to have a good time you have to be going out to clubs etc.

You were doing fine before, and I know that other people can put doubts in your mind, bt remember that while your friend is racking up purchases on her plastic, everything you own will be pad for and YOURS, not Mastercards.

Easy enough to say ignore it, but remember that you are doing very nicely, and she's probably just trying to fill an empty life with shopping, and dosn't understand how you can be happy without American express.

Molanole

Caz - you are not odd for not wanting to use your credit cards and working to get out of debt is really, really commendable. I must admit, I've not told my friends how much debt I'm in but they do know that I am in some debt (we did go to uni together after all) so that helps. Personally, given your friends insensitivity (and thus possible likelihood of gossiping about your situation) I'm not sure I would want to tell them but to stop them putting their foot in it all the time I think the idea above about saying you're saving for something big is a good idea. I get a lot of grief from my boyfs mother who keeps asking (whenever her dear son, an only child, whinges about being broke) why I can't support him more as I earn a better salary. It absolutely does my head in (and I can't help but think "well if you'd not spoiled him quite so much he might realise the value of money") but as she doesn't know how much debt I am in - nor am I willing to tell her - I'm just going to have to live with it unfortunately. Phew, sorry about hijacking your thread, that turned into a bit of a rant from me!

Keep your chin up Caz, we're all behind you in our joint quest to become debt free!

elona

What "lovely" friends and bf mothers you have!
They are enough to send you screaming in the opposite direction!

You are quite right to sort out debts and not want to wrack up extra expense.

If you were my daughter I would say you were a credit and I was very proud of you.

Well done :T and :A

Mrs_Optimist

Ditto the above - unless your friend has a very rich relative she is probably spending on plastic. At least you will know that what you have is bought and paid for. Don't feel obliged to try and keep up with the Jones's. I started thinking about my neighbours - 2 kids, wife doesn't work, no benefits, husband has a driving job but they spend money like water - until I realised that the only way that they could possibly fund that lifestyle is if they had rich parents (they havent) or they lived on the never, never - which they must. The husband was chatting to my hubby last week and said he had spent 1k on a tv 12 months ago, 250.00 on an extended warranty and the tv has been nothing but trouble. He also said that he would have to work until he dropped. Personally I would rather work to fund my own lifestyle, not to boost a Banks coffers. I am perfectly happy with our 400.00 tv which is 10 years old but was brought and paid for outright after much saving - sure it may not be as up-to-date as some our friends electricals, and my husband would LOVE a widescreen tv, but it is all ours. I admire you for your dermination to be debt free. PS your friend is SOOOO obviously jealous!

Foxy106

Mrs_Optimist wrote:

Ditto the above - unless your friend has a very rich relative she is probably spending on plastic. At least you will know that what you have is bought and paid for. Don't feel obliged to try and keep up with the Jones's. I started thinking about my neighbours - 2 kids, wife doesn't work, no benefits, husband has a driving job but they spend money like water - until I realised that the only way that they could possibly fund that lifestyle is if they had rich parents (they havent) or they lived on the never, never - which they must. The husband was chatting to my hubby last week and said he had spent 1k on a tv 12 months ago, 250.00 on an extended warranty and the tv has been nothing but trouble. He also said that he would have to work until he dropped. Personally I would rather work to fund my own lifestyle, not to boost a Banks coffers. I am perfectly happy with our 400.00 tv which is 10 years old but was brought and paid for outright after much saving - sure it may not be as up-to-date as some our friends electricals, and my husband would LOVE a widescreen tv, but it is all ours. I admire you for your dermination to be debt free. PS your friend is SOOOO obviously jealous!

I'll bet even if your neighbours TV was working perfectly the euphoria of buying it and showing it off to his friends and family, would have worn off pretty quickly anyway. Then after that intial elated period the happy feeling wears of when you realise how long you got to go before its actually paid for, and how much extra it is with the interest. With some people the only way over that depressing feeling is to go out and buy something else they really want (well really want for all of 5 minutes).