Rant - please excuse me!

The_New_Caz

Hello

I hope you don't mind but I'm having a day of it and just wanted to have a moan........

I have just moved house, am feeling very broke and realised (yes I know its my own fault) that I have years before I am out of debt.

My friend visited at the weekend and proceeded to tell me how I should decorate the house and buy new furniture etc. Strangely enough I was happy with what I had up until then. Then when I offered her time in the garden to sun bathe (yes I have a garden after four years - bit of a back yard really but fresh air all the same and poss room for growing herbs and veggies) my friend then told me that my towels looked like something an old gran would have. Funnily enough I have never had trouble in using them to dry myself. The conversation then proceeded to how many times they had been out lately and the new clothes she had recently purchased. Then turned to the new car another girl had just bought. (Neither of them work). I then had to excuse myself because I had to get ready to go to my second job. And then I was told that I never went out anymore and I really should make the effort etc. etc. Its funny but I don't have to go clubbing to have a laugh anymore - in fact I can think of plenty things I like doing that don't cost anything.

Yes I know its my fault I'm in debt and most of the time its a situation I can quite happily live with knowing that I am getting myself out of it. But sometimes it would be really good to know that I am doing the right thing and that I'm not odd because I don't want to use my credit cards, and that its ok to dig myself out of the mess. And shouldn't have to spend loads doing up a house that I'm quite happy to live in because someone else thinks it needs decorating.

Sorry - this is a bit of a boo hoo, woe is me email. But I feel better for just having said it.

climbgirl

The_New_Caz wrote:

Strangely enough I was happy with what I had up until then.

I think you summed it up with that sentence! Don't feel like you have to decorate your house because somebody else isn't happy with it, that's crazy! If she doesn't like it, or doesn't want to use your granny towels, then she doesn't have to come round! Pretty simple choice really!

I know it's easier said than done, ignoring other people's views sometimes, but that's what you have to do. You've made the decision to get out of debt because it's what you want for yourself and that's commendable. Just keep reminding yourself of that fact. If you don't feel you can tell them about your debt as a reason not to go out, just tell them it's not about a lack of effort, just that you're saving for something or anything that works for you.

I find it interesting that you say you'd rather do other things than clubbing etc now. Sounds like you're moving on in life and they're not quite there yet!

kickingkay

Caz, ok its your fault the majority of us on here its our fault however, that feeling when some one else seems to have more be richer etc is it their cash or card paying for it, we live in a socity that incourages the more plastic the more important you are wrong chances are they will be where you are eventually you know how you got there you know how to get out so ignore them and think il be there again and this time im going to enjoy knowing when its paid its paid! and my money will be earning me % not my bank manager!
klare xx

vixxen

Hi Caz,

Sorry to hear you're feeling down, I was the same about my situation last week. I've had a mate that came out with spiteful comments/put me downs like that but it took me years to realise she was only jealous of what I had! At the end of the day you have a lovely new place and so what if you can't do it up or buy new things straight away? Every room in my house is half decorated and it was getting to me until my boyf's mum came over to see it and said it was a lovely place so who cares if it isn't painted yet! As for clubbing, I admit it is horrible knowing everyone else is out except for you but why don't you invite your friends over and get them to bring a bottle? Deep down they're probably just as grateful to save a bit of cash (even if they won't admit it!!).

Hope you feel better about things soon!

Vix x

ms_london

You say that neither of them work. Are they on benefits or have a sugar daddy keeping them? You should be so proud that you have your own house!! Your friends dont sound like very nice people to me - perhaps they are jealous that you are sorting yourself out & they cant help but be shallow and want X,Y,Z!! There is more to life than having a new car or going out clubbing all the time. And as others have said, they're probably in debt up to their eyeballs too!!

Big hugs.xx

lynzpower

Caz, all in time.

Tell your mates that if they really care about the interior of YOUR home, then give them a list of housewarming presents you want if they are spalashing the cash. Otherwise, tell them, pipe down.

Debt_Free_Chick

I'm willing to bet that your "friend" is busy racking up more debt and is probably committing financial suicide.

Does she know you are trying to pay off your debt? If so, then she's pretty heartless to say the least.

If not, then maybe she might have been more tactful if she knew your situation. Of course, you don't have to tell her, but expect her to keep putting her foot in her gob

You have a great excuse .. you've just moved house. It's been stressful and expensive and you want some quiet time to enjoy your new house and hope all your friends will visit.

As for decorating and kitting a house out ... in my view, you need to live in it for a couple of years and allow the house to "speak to you" as it will tell you what decor & furniture will look best. Don't simply buy what's currently fashionable as you'll be doing it all over again in a few years time when it will look completely out of fashion. What a waste of money!

beer2006

This is exactly the reason some people get into debt, they have it, so I must.

If someone I know says that to me, I just say I can't afford it. If they ask again, I say it more forcefully, no, I can't afford IT!
Amazing how many say, oh get a loan, or something the same...........

Chrismojam

Hiya.......I had a reply all ready to post and it came back that I wasn't logged in.........but having logged in 'again' the site is saying I last visited at 5.26pm..(I NEVER LOGGED OUT!!!!)......however..I made sure I was before I started typing so I'm a bit miffed!!

In short, like the others have said, your friends are setting themselves up for a fall.....just you be glad that you are sorting yourself out........as difficult as it is as times.........you will get there:D

**purpleprincess**

You are doing the right thing and you're not odd because you don't want to use your credit cards, and it is ok to dig yourself out of the mess. And no, you shouldn't have to spend loads doing up a house that you're quite happy to live in because someone else thinks it needs decorating.

Keep doing what you're doing and keep smiling!!! They'll want to be debt free one day and hopefully by then you will be debt free!!! Then you can laugh!!!

(Mean I know but makes me feel good!!!) (And of course I will help them and point them in the direction of MSE!!)

You'll soon find out who your real friends are as I have done in my last couple of months of starting on the journey of being debt free.

Dr.Lou

Don't worry about it......sounds like you have a very lovely house all of your own(and that is the most important thing to think about really isn't it?!)!

If you were happy with your stuff previously, I am sure it will last you a long while yet! The most impostant thing you can do now, is to keep focused on your goal of reducing your debt and not let anyone else distract you from it.

Your friends just sound a little bit envious of you at the moment, and probably are just trying to find any little put downs they can....Forget what they think and just keep with your plan...