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Marriage Counselling

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I just found out two days before Xmas that my husband of five years had been having an affair, for the last six weeks. Despite a very painful Xmas, along with our daughters birthday, we are trying to work through it for the sake of our three year old daughter and we do still love each other.

The affair is over and he has seen sense. We have bought a couple of books to read and was wondering whether we should try marriage counselling. We do seem to be able to see where it went wrong and how to correct it but wonder if we would still benefit from counselling. Does anyone have experience of counselling..

Thanks
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Comments

  • Davesmum_2
    Davesmum_2 Posts: 387 Forumite
    Sorry i cant offer any advice but just wanted to say how sorry i was to read your story, I do hope things work out for you and that 2005 sees happieness for you and your family.

    Davesmum .x
    I think therefore i am....not TOTALLY thick!!!
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 47,327 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I don't have direct experience of marriage counselling but in general would say that if you find a good counsellor it can be helpful to have someone 'neutral' to sound off against. Also if you are wanting to make the marriage work someone to encourage you both and say "but look how well you're doing" when you feel you're wasting your time might be helpful.

    Bristol Community Family Trust look as if they have some useful links and resources on their website. I know the people involved and know people who've done their pre-marriage courses and would recommend them. I also know they do a lot more than pre-marriage courses so would hopefully be helpful in pointing you to local resources.

    I wish you all the very best and encourage you to stick at it: no-one ever said marriage would be easy (and if they did they didn't know what they were talking about!) but in general people often don't find the alternative a bed of roses either.

    Love and hugs!
    Signature removed for peace of mind
  • SnowyOwl_2
    SnowyOwl_2 Posts: 5,257 Forumite
    1,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    Hello LCard, sorry to hear that you've been having a painful time of it recently.

    It is a very good sign that you and your husband are willing to consider counselling. I have some training in this field (though rather limited), and I would recommend that you go ahead and see someone specialised and experienced in marriage counselling. Your husband and you may find it easier to talk to someone who can listen with an unbiased ear and help guide you to an amicable future. It is a learning experience and I am sure will be of value.

    It really is good to talk.

    Good luck with this, I hope it works out for you.
  • rushnowt
    rushnowt Posts: 24,749 Forumite
    LCard, So sorry to hear of your situation, it is a very sad time when these things happen and i wish you all the very best in rebuilding your relationship :-* :-* :-* :-*

    have pm'd ya
    Nobody can make you feel inferior, without your permission ;)

    Love doesn't make the world go round, it's what makes the ride worthwhile

    ya still freezing :p




  • jellyhead
    jellyhead Posts: 21,555 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    no advice really, i just wanted to send you my best wishes *HUGS*

    we're all here if you want to have a moan or just chat.
    52% tight
  • elona
    elona Posts: 11,806 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I agree with bargain bunny in wishing you all the best.
    "This site is addictive!"
    Wooligan 2 squares for smoky - 3 squares for HTA
    Preemie hats - 2.
  • Hi

    I can't offer any advice either, but I just wanted to say how sorry I was to hear this, but I am pleased that you are prepared to give it another try, I really hope you can work things out together and that the two of you will become stronger than ever!

    Sending you hugs of support xxxxx
    February Grocery Challenge £250.00

    Spend so far £230!! (Ohhh my days HELP) still got almost 2 weeks left!!
  • jockettuk
    jockettuk Posts: 5,809 Forumite
    when i was going through my divorce as part of my divorce we had to go to counselling not to try and get us back to gether as that was a lost cause but because we were arguing over the house etc .. it made us see things differntly and we resolved our differences and the divorce although hard went smoother .. please remember though that in counselling some home truths might come out and some people take these to heart rather than seeing that they part of the problem that needs solving .. good luck and i hope it all works out for you
    Those we love don't go away,They walk beside us every day,Unseen, unheard, but always near,
    Still loved, still missed and very dear
    Our thoughts are ever with you,Though you have passed away.And those who loved you dearly,
    Are thinking of you today.
  • please remember though that in counselling some home truths might come out and some people take these to heart rather than seeing that they part of the problem that needs solving

    Yes unfortunately, that happened to me, it only added to my despair.
  • LCard
    LCard Posts: 33 Forumite
    Thank you everyone for your best wishes. This site is so amazing, much more than just money saving.
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