urgent advice needed please!!!!!!

vaio

muskateer wrote: »

thank you both, I really appreciate it - I was quite shocked when he said. I had come to terms that if anything did happen to him, the monthly maintenance would stop but I was more concerned that my son would loose his dad, not how I would cope financially……

If you or your son are financially dependant on your ex and he dies without making suitable provision for you then you will have a claim on his estate which could override any will he has made.

Obviously the same applies the other way round as well

Rachel85

Hi Muskateer

Is your ex-husband saying that you have to get this particular kind of insurance, or that it might be a good idea if you both did?

In many ways, taking out an insurance policy to provide additional financial security in the event of one parent's death isn't a bad idea. Many married couples do so, as they realise that they would struggle financially one one income, or potentially no income if the surviving parent was required to give up work to care for their child. You may not be married, but you are still joint parents and your child relies upon you both for support (financial and otherwise) and care.

You say you already have an insurance policy which would pay off your mortgage in the event of your death and leave the property (or the proceeds from its sale) in trust for your child. Whilst this would provide for them during their adult life, it does would not provide any financial assistance whilst they were growing up unless, like other posters have said, the surviving parent made an application to use a portion of the estate to meet these costs which may not be what was indicated in the will, or wanted.

Whilst I don't know your ex-husband, he may simply be trying to secure your child's financial future. He may earn a lot more than you do, but he may have significantly higher outgoings and were he to give up his job - or go part time if this were an option - to be the main carer his income may drop below a level which he could maintain his financial committments. So it may be worth hearing him out. If he's very keen on the idea, then let him fund it or at least pay a proportion of your income. Whilst you hope you will never, ever have to use it and no amount of money would ever take away the pain of loosing a parent, having financial security would go some way towards making life a little more comfortable for your child.

sarymclary

Can I just clarify that there are 2 separate houses? This isn't still a joint mortgage on the marital home?

If you have your own home, and he has no financial obligation/investment to your house, then quite frankly it is none of his business at all. Likewise, if he has his own home, and you have no obligation/investment in it, you have no say in what he does either.

If the property in question is joint, then you need to be absolutely sure that your ex keeps up his payments on the insurance policy covering the mortgage. I warn you about this having experienced the fall-out of my ex husband (although not actually divorced - the absolute was pending) died, and I discovered that he had not kept up the payments on his life insurance policy. Therefore I was unable to keep our house, and I lost it, as well as having the joint responsibility become my sole responsibility upon his death. I should add that I am a mother of 4 children, the eldest was only 12 at the time, and it was not a nice experience. I tried to battle with the mortgage company to argue the fact that I had not been advised that my ex had stopped paying his insurance premiums, but apparently it was my responsibility to find out that information for myself (though why I'd have considered he would have stopped I don't know, as it was a joint investment). I was given the option of being repossessed or selling the house myself to settle the debt.

msb5262

Hello OP,
When I got divorced in 2004, I was advised by two separate independent financial advisors to take out life insurance on my ex in order to secure the child support he pays me. I was reluctant to do this as it felt like HIS job to make sure that if he dies, the children are provided for...but in the end I did it.
The insurance costs me £37 pcm and if ex should die before the youngest child reaches the age of 18 in 2016, I will receive the same amount for child support as I do now (approx £11,000 a year at present, index-linked) until 2016.
I'm still rather resentful of having had to do this (and he has had to be informed, sign the forms etc) but I am glad it's done. At least I don't need to rely on him staying alive!
If I were you, I'd consider doing the same to ensure your child support is safe but tell him to get stuffed where his mortgage is concerned!
HTH
MsB

loftus

As with msb5262, if your ex wants the benefit of a financial windfall as a result of your death he should pay for it.

PS I'm not quite sure why msb5262 is resentful of paying the premium on a policy that benefits her?

msb5262

Loftus asked in post #16: "I'm not quite sure why msb5262 is resentful of paying the premium on a policy that benefits her?"

I would direct you back to my post #15:
"I was reluctant to do this as it felt like HIS job to make sure that if he dies, the children are provided for...but in the end I did it. I'm still rather resentful of having had to do this (and he has had to be informed, sign the forms etc) but I am glad it's done."
What's not to understand?

loftus

Funnily enough I can read, that's why I responded to the point you made in your post.

I presume that you also benefit in part from the £11k your ex pays in maintenance?

The OP's ex asked for her to take out insurance to cover the additional costs/loss of earnings he would face if she died and he had to bring up the children.

You believed your ex should pay for insurance to cover your loss of income in the event of his death.

I see a similarity here - and I think you're both wrong.

But then it's all about opinions isn't it.

msb5262

Quote from Loftus in post # 18:
"I presume that you also benefit in part from the £11k your ex pays in maintenance?"
As mentioned previously, the £11k a year is CHILD SUPPORT, not maintenance. As we have three children, £11k doesn't go very far. Luckily my children benefit both from this (25% of my ex's take-home pay) and from the 100% of my take-home pay which goes into the family budget.
I agree that it's all about opinions - but in my opinion it would be pretty sad if I had to go to court to get money for the children's upbringing from my ex's estate, should he die before they all reach the age of 18. In my opinion, the children would be entitled to support from their father's estate - but he hasn't put it in place. That's a dereliction of his duty as a parent, in my opinion.

loftus

Do you know that your ex has made no provision for his children in his estate? If he hasn't then thats a mark against him.

Obviously your ex has a high take home pay for 25% of his earnings to be child support (I use the terms child support and maintenance interchangeably, I wasn't suggesting it was spousal support). However £11k is still a reasonable mount of money, more than many people's second incomes. It would pay the majority of people's mortgage and more.

Anyway we have differing opinions here so further discussion is pointless. I wish you ands your family well.

elisebutt65

I got divorced about 8 years ago from my blind OH. As he would require almost full time help with his son if I snuffed it, then I pay for insurance - about £22 a month and it pays into a trust if I die before DS reaches 18 that will pay about £7000 a year. My mum is the trustee so ex can't snaffle the money:rotfl:

Fair enough to get insurance if you die, for your child - but it's his responsibility to sort out his own insurance!

Can I be really nosey and ask how much insurance he pays on a 90K salary?