urgent advice needed please!!!!!!

muskateer

hi
i am recently divorced but now, a little confused.

my ex husband and i both have our house and life insurances to cover the mortgages.
i am the main carer for our son although my ex has him every other weekend and pays me monthly maintenance.

my ex is also saying that i need to take out extra insurance for if i die my mortgage will be paid off and the house left in trust to our son from my existing life insurance. he also expects me to take out insurance to either also ay off his mortgage to free up some of his income to pay for a carer / nanny for our son or to pay him a lump sum as he wouldn't be receiving monthly maintenance from me.

If it makes any difference, I earn £19k and my husband earns £90k!

This can't be right can it or am i just not seeing it correctly.

please help me,
thanks
anna

Bethankim

Had to retype my first response it was too rude...

cheeky blighter, just pay for your insurance he has the means to pay his and he has no right to ask such a thing..if he has his own mortgage and from what you have written he does then he has to pay it not you.

in the nicest possible way tell him to take a very long walk off a very short plank...

sarymclary

Muskateer - as far as I know, you and your husband only need to ensure that you have an insurance policy to cover the mortgage value on your house in the event of either of your deaths.

Any further life insurance policy is optional for either of you. If you can afford to have one, and want to ensure that your child has some money left for her benefit after your death, then that is a personal choice. You have no obligation to do so. You would need to ensure that any Will you have reflects this, otherwise it would make things messy, and your ex could try to make a claim on your estate, although your child is your legal next-of-kin, but as her father would become her legal sole carer, he could claim that he needs to have access to money left by you to care for your daughter.

What your ex needs to wise up to is the fact that he is no longer married, and therefore doesn't have the benefits that institution bring - like unpaid childcare. I presume the monthly maintenance you received is payable for your child, and not for you personally. Has he indicated that he has his life insurance payable in favour of you on his death? I bet it's not, if he has any. It sounds to me that it's beginning to dawn on him that there is a slim chance that he could be 100% responsible for your child, and that scares him.

Frankly, I can see why he is an ex!

moiramber

I'm surprised on 90k a year he's worrying about trying to get money out of you! What a greedy git :mad:

muskateer

thank you both, I really appreciate it - I was quite shocked when he said. I had come to terms that if anything did happen to him, the monthly maintenance would stop but i was more concerend that my son would loose his dad, not how i would cope financially.

he is coming round on thursday to "discuss things" and i just wanted to be clear in my head as i know that he will try to persuade me and make me see things from his point of view.

if i need it, of course i will get it, i just didn't think that it was necessary

DVardysShadow

muskateer wrote: »

hi

my ex is also saying that i need to take out extra insurance for if i die my mortgage will be paid off and the house left in trust to our son from my existing life insurance. he also expects me to take out insurance to either also ay off his mortgage to free up some of his income to pay for a carer / nanny for our son or to pay him a lump sum as he wouldn't be receiving monthly maintenance from me.

You should tell him that if you die, it is his responsibility to die too, so that his insurance pays up. And not to take his time about it, either.

Marcheline

Your ex is a joker!

LJM

HMMM dont let him push you into anything

jack*tigger

If he wants to benefit from you taking out extra insurance then he needs to put his hand in his pocket and pay the extra premium ! And whilst he's about it he needs to reassure you that he will leave his child well provided for should something untoward happen to him.

Floss

Have you made a will? And have you nominated any guardian/s in the event of your & your ex's deaths leaving your children with no parents?

When I divorced, I made a will which leaves my life insurance to my 2 sons in trust with my 2 older brothers as trustees. My younger brother & his wife were to be guardians in the event of my & my ex's deaths, which he agreed to. This way, I knew the kids would be looked after.

Whether he has life insurance to cover his mortgage is no concern of mine - that's his new wife's problem! But like you, I just assumed that the maintenance would stop and that my kids would be fatherless - not that I had to insure his life to create an income for us!

And if he DOES take out insurance on your life, isn't there a requirement now for the company to write & inform you? Or did I dream that?!

dmg24

Surely you need to consider what is best for your child, not you or your ex? If the insurance is affordable, and means that your child would get the house (or the proceeds of the house sale) then I would do it.

It is your son that would benefit, not your ex husband.