Help me get close to my future mother in law?

never_enough

tandraig wrote: »

of course i never actually TOOK her advice - but she didnt know that!!!!

That's the best way! I do the same with mine, although sometimes it's hard to get her NOT to give advice.... :rolleyes:

OP, I would just take things very slowly at first, then you'll feel comfortable with each other. Even making a cup of tea for her (Or just asking if she wants one~) can help to break the ice a little.

poppyolivia

At least you haven't done what I did on more than one occasion...when I started going out with DH we would sit with his folks etc....and I'd fall asleep on the couch!!!lol..their house was too warm, I was used to freezing cold houses! Been married 11 years and I tend to stay awake now when we go around every sunday!!!!lol

Jay83

Thank you for all your advice, i really appreciate it. Guess me and oh are just used to our own company. He doesnt really speak much to his mum either. Will try to aim to spend more time in the family room from now on and slowly try and make some process. I just dont like the thought of her hating me. When im at her house i just like hiding away so i dont bump into her. i know this is really crazy. if i tried explaining it to anyone they would think im really weird for always spending time in his room. You guys have helped alot. thanks again

tandraig

you did make me laugh then poppyolivia - the mental image was so funny. I bet they took it as a compliment that you felt so at home, as you are obviously still welcome there.lol

tandraig

its ok Jay83 - its hard when you are shy. people can mistake it for snootyness tho. then THEY have attitude and round and round it goes. good for you that you realise this and asked for advice. as some other posters have suggested - just make her a cuppa or whatever and say ive been meaning to ask you but been too shy.......................then ask advice. most people will pick up on the shy bit and respond kindly

Elsewhere

Does she like playing board games - Scrabble, Monopoly etc? I think if you are shy it's much easier talking to someone if there's a REASON to be talking and board games are a great ice-breaker. Or ask her about when partner was a child - get her to dig out the embarassing family photos! Doing jobs together - the washing up or maybe helping out with a bit of gardening are good ways of getting into an easy conversation.

poppyolivia

tandraig wrote: »

you did make me laugh then poppyolivia - the mental image was so funny. I bet they took it as a compliment that you felt so at home, as you are obviously still welcome there.lol

Thats exactly what they said..they said that they were just so pleased I felt at home enough to do that!!!...I would be sitting up then the head would fall back onto the back of the couch and I'd be away!!!...hope I didn't snore!!!:o:rotfl:Mind you they were probably glad my DH found someone, wouldn't mattered who it was they probably wanted rid!!!:D

foxy-roxy

The best way i broke the ice with my MIL was going on a night out with her, she is very young at heart so probably isn't an option for most people, but worked for me.
Then we compared hangovers the next day:D

never_enough

Elsewhere wrote: »

Does she like playing board games - Scrabble, Monopoly etc? I think if you are shy it's much easier talking to someone if there's a REASON to be talking and board games are a great ice-breaker. Or ask her about when partner was a child - get her to dig out the embarassing family photos! Doing jobs together - the washing up or maybe helping out with a bit of gardening are good ways of getting into an easy conversation.

Oh yes, that's a great idea, leads into a whole heap of other questions, what your bf was like as a kid, what he was into, friends etc Mummys usually love to show off pics of their babies, no matter what age [or is that just *my* mummy?! ]

Mojisola

Lots of good advice so far. I would add - take it slowly. If you go from not really talking to her to overdoing it, she may find it difficult to take.