Not strictly old school but really need some help...

SUESMITH_2

can you get out at all in the evening? i've made really good friends through night school

could you start going to toddlers? i started going when my baby was only a couple of months old - gave me something to look forward to every week

i really sympathise, being lonely is horrid

the_cat

Talk to your OH. Obviously nights out are part of his life, so it is only fair that they should be part of your life too.

Try to agree that at least one night a week you are off duty. Use this time to do something that you enjoy that has a social element. gym, sports, evening class, book club - anything at all that takes your fancy. You will slowly build up friendships with people of a common interest

It can seem daunting to go to a toddler group etc when you feel low and don't know anyone but you need to pull yourself out of this rut. Make yourself go a couple of times and pretty soon you will be looking forward to it

Do you have family nearby? I always used to visit my mum once per week when my DS was young. Often she would look after him for some of the time so I could have some time for myself

princess_lou

Just an update... Thanku to everyone for their help.. i feel so much better just having got it off my chest... I sat dwn and spoke properly to oh and explained just how low i was... have done this b4 but always on a down moment, so this time waited til was okish... told him as well how he makes me feel sumtimes... he actually sat and listened and got his mum to babysit yesterday so we could spend day together... made me breakfast, i went bk to sleep for few hrs(soo exhausted) then went out 4 early dinner... really nice as havnt had day 'off' since baby born... feel refreshed today and hoping to start on some of ur suggestions this wk... xx

tandraig

well done - princess lou - applaud you. I havent got the hang of smilies etc. hun. i find with men if you tell them YOU have the problem they get the urge to fix it! I do have other suggestions - like if OH goes off to footy with mates every saturday - dont mates have wives or girlsfriends you could get OH to introduce you to? form the 'footy widows club' and take turns hosting for coffee? at the very least you will have a collective moan.

princess_lou

hi...have looked into home start
and sure start as suggested.. found a sure start centre about a
20min walk frm here, they seem to have a lot going on and tomorrow
they have a kickers and crawlers class on, i will go dwn to check it 2moro.. and see how that wrks out..
bit nervous as quite shy and get anxiety sometimes.. but also looking forward to gettin out 4 an hr.
will post tomorrow evening.. thanku 4 everyones support so far x

sammyw

Good luck today lou, hope it goes well

newcook

Hi!

Are there any social clubs you could join?? I am a member of a sports and social club and feel comfortable going there on my own not knowing if any of my friends will be going (though at least one usually turns up!!)
You could join as a family and go at weekends and get to know people that way and when you feel comfortable going there without OH you can do!!

Teenie_D

Hi :wave:

Well done for taking that step to do something, it can be very difficult if you are shy anyway, especially if you are feeling depressed.

When I was pregnant we moved to a little village (only about 15-20 mins away by car) as we thought it would be a nice place to bring up our baby, it is a lovely little place but I was so lonely. We were lucky enough to eventually return to our home town-DH didn't want to leave but at the end of the day it wasn't him that was stuck day in day out with a baby with nobody for company.
I used to go to a breast feeding support group just to get out the house and I met some really good friends who I am still in contact with and we try to meet up if not every week, at least once a month.

I have gone to other toddler groups and they have been good but what I found was that they can be quite clique when you first start but when you become a familiar face everyone is usually friendly so dont give up.

Really hope it went well for you today and glad that you are getting a chance to spend some time with your OH-it is so important.

Anyway better go will look forward to your post later.


Take care xx

quietheart

Hope it went well today, well done for taking action, i'm sure things will look much brighter soon!

princess_lou

Hi... i walked down to the centre... it was shut...v. disapointed, and it took me a long time to get the courage to wlk dwn there.. did check times online when got home, and venue but seems i got it right:embarasse so am going to try again on friday.. they have a toy libary so will see wot that brings, bit dishearting though...