Advice Re. Private Let Please

gravitytolls

Jowo wrote: »

That's a new one on me. I thought local authorities had a statutory obligation to assist the homeless and so long as it wasn't deemed 'intentional' didn't have any discretion in the matter.

Do you mean to say that they didn't help at all, or they have a policy of not giving a social housing tenancy in that situation but will help them into private lets, such as through a referral or deposit guarantee scheme, or in temporary accommodation?

They offered no help at all, beyond advising me if I gave him the deposit he could afford a private let she picked randomly from that days paper. I explained I had already spoken to SS re. help with coping with a young adult with his difficulties, bearing in mind the knock on effect they had on younger siblings, whose unequivacal advice was to evict him.

gravitytolls

silvercar wrote: »

He won't be classed as vunerable until he has a diagnosis confirmed by a doctor at the very least. Until then he is just a young adult who needs to leave the family home.



This is the problem, you don't want him living with you but you want to choose where he lives. The world isn't like that. A homeless single person of 18 is more than likely going to be given a hostel or B&B. He may be directed towards finding a shared house, but I doubt the council are going to do this for him.

IMHO you have gone about this the wrong way. You should get the diagnosis confirmed first and possibly also involved social services. Then you should have got him on the lists for housing and only then you should have asked him to leave.

Change is difficult to manage for people with his conditions, so you want as smooth a transfer as possible, rather than leave him not knowing where he will be living. Could you not take him back home before your 7th child arrives?

The other option put to him was to accompany me to the Dr's to ask for support ~ he refused. He does not accept that there is a problem.

There is no option to come home. DH is repeatedly reminding me 'he's not coming back, don't call it home, we're his family, but this is NOT his home.' I know it sounds hard, but at 16 he ended DH's career as a thatcher when he shoved hom over in a drunken rage, he has terrified the entire family on many occasions, he has damaged vehicles and the home, we had to downsize and move home following the spinal injury. In the year he hasn't lived here, we have had calm and stability, the only aggravation beyond the norm has been what he fetches on his visits or from giving our address as his to organisations such as the DVLA.

gravitytolls

Thanks PN, it's good to hear from you.

silvercar

There is no option to come home. DH is repeatedly reminding me 'he's not coming back, don't call it home, we're his family, but this is NOT his home.' I know it sounds hard, but at 16 he ended DH's career as a thatcher when he shoved hom over in a drunken rage, he has terrified the entire family on many occasions, he has damaged vehicles and the home, we had to downsize and move home following the spinal injury. In the year he hasn't lived here, we have had calm and stability, the only aggravation beyond the norm has been what he fetches on his visits or from giving our address as his to organisations such as the DVLA.

I find it incredibly sad that this child /adult can't have a place to call home, when he probably needs a stable base more than anyone. I hope that the calm and stability that you now have in your home helps you support him in giving him the stability that he needs in his life.

clutton_2

i knew very little about this syndrome, and may i thank those who have contributed their personal experiences about it with such open-ness and honesty - it makes me grateful for what i have and how my life has been - it also makes me mad that social services/medical profession appear to be so uncaring

i have no solutions or advice,

but best wishes

gravitytolls

silvercar wrote: »

I find it incredibly sad that this child /adult can't have a place to call home, when he probably needs a stable base more than anyone. I hope that the calm and stability that you now have in your home helps you support him in giving him the stability that he needs in his life.

You're right of course. We love him, he knows we do, he knows he can rely on us to help as much as we can, which is why we are the first port of call when things are tough ~ if only he called us before he made his decisions.

Anyhoo, I have found a flat only a few miles away from us. It's a self contained apartment, 6 mth lease, £285 PCM, which he can well afford, on main bus routes and rail link, in town, so he isn't isolated, and close enough to friends and family to have independence without being alone.

Grandad has offered to help with the deposit, with what he has coming in before next weekend, and what we can give him, if Grandad can make up the small shortfall, we can do it.

Thank Heavens.

Thanks for all the advice guys, it really is much appreciated, it's such a comfort to have somewhere to turn to for advice and good wishes.

clutton_2

great news - please keep us informed as to how this all pans out

BitterAndTwisted

Thank the Lord for Mums and Grandads! I'm so happy to hear that your son will be having a wee place to call his own. It's wonderful news and thanks so much for letting us know