New relationship, boyfriend in debt, help please

gallygirl

Chick Chick I'm glad you've found happiness so quickly. I agree with the other posters, but have my 2p worth to add.

He MUST take responsibility for sorting out his debts - psychologically as well as financially. Otherwise he still has his head in the sand, and when you've arranged everything and he's paid it all off he won't have changed his habits and is likely to do the same again.

Sit down with him & get him to do a statement of affairs. Identify the priority of the debts etc, and get him to work out what order to pay them off, his debt free day, whether he can apply for an interest free card to transfer debt etc. He's bringing home really good money, so he obviously has a good brain - get him to use it sorting out his mess.

You can do your bit by supporting him and cutting costs from tips on here. But he MUST take responsibility for his own situation.

Good luck!

margaretclare

beer2006 wrote:

I believe in love in a week, thats how long it took me to fall in love. but that's different to being serious. Thats my opinion.

Oh-oh. You young things! I fell in love, asked a guy to move in with me, couldn't believe I was hearing myself saying it....He arrived on my doorstep like a refugee, with all his worldly goods packed into and on top of his rusty old car. He had next to nowt, and the little that he did have was being targeted by a vengeful wifey! What he did have was the willingness to work and a 'solvent' attitude of mind.

We actually met online, and when he moved in we'd talked on the phone, I'd spent 24 hours with him and he came here for one afternoon. I hadn't ever met him apart from those 2 occasions.

That was nearly 9 years ago now, we were married in 2002, we're still in love, we're not rich but not poor either and we have all we need. Most important, we're solvent, we discuss and share, we make all major decisions together.

Chick-chick, you said 'his parents have been very good, lent him money'. They may not have done him any favours in the long-term because he's continued this idea of borrowing money from anywhere he can, paying it off in small amounts - this is not the way to get out of debt and to have a sound financial future. I echo all the good advice you've received from others on here.

Best wishes

Margaret Clare

beer2006

margaretclare wrote:

Oh-oh. You young things!

Young!
That was in 1990! We lived in different countries and met in another on holiday.
Holiday romance........ I was 20 then and had about 20 pence to my name.
We still discuss things and are solvent as well.

A nice love story margaretclare, but wow, trusting aren't you, to let him move in after only meeting him twice?