Should I tell my parents?

yorkshire-lad

Well some of you may have already read my other thread.
Just to summarise,I'm around 10k in debt,3 loans and a cc.

At the mo my parents don't know,I really want to tell them but they have enough problems at the min. I really want to but I don't want to give them more worries than they already have.

I feel so fed up with my life at the min,I'm pretty sure I've hit rock bottom,stress and worry are an everyday thing for me:(

what can/should I do??

as always thoughts and advice are welcome:)

PercyPig

Hi yorkshire-lad, just wanted to say hi. I am not the best person to give advice about telling your parents but just wanted to give you a virtual hug as you sound as low as I feel. I am struggling with my debts on my own too. I don't want to tell my partner as though he has no debt he is paying care home fees for his parents so has no spare money and would worry so much if he knew.

Best of luck with what decision you come to.

Percy

Katie-Kat-Kins

I'd confide in them, a trouble shared is a trouble halved. It is a cliche but it is true, even if they can't help the fact that they know and you have someone to talk to will help you feel better.

It will also mean that they don't put undue pressure on you if they know that you are struggling financially.

If you are worried about them worrying then explain to them that you have a plan in place and you aren't asking them for money you just want them to know your situation. You don't have to divulge the amounts either if you don't want to.

pania

Firstly in true girly style have a big hug. Have been where you are, know the feeling and offer all my support. Firstly the stress and worry do dissipate in time, hang in there and if you are feeling low the virtual support world of MSE will be your saviour. It has been mine on many occasions, especially when I was close to finding the ultimate way out.
This is an opinion that many may disagree with but I would caution against telling your parents of your problems. I did and it was hell. Everytime my mum or dad came to visit it was "is that a new top?" I didnt think you had any money.(even if it wasnt new at all) I was made to feel guilty for every time I went out, every penny I spent virtually. Even if mum rang while I was in tesco I got "I hope you're only buying basics. you cant afford anything else"

Only you know If your parents are likely to react like this or be supportive but consider it first long and hard. If it is a case of "a problem shared" then go for it. Do any of your friends or relatives know of your debt problem that may be better to share the problem with?

Going to rush off to read your other thread take care. xx

Tixy

I'm with Kat on this I'd tell them but at the same time tell them you are facing up to debts and have a plan in place to tackle them.

Do make it clear you are not asking them for money but just want to be honest with them.

They may know something is worrying you or may be worrying about your spending anyway. If they have noticed you are stressed they may even be relieved to hear that its 'only' debt as parents have a tendancy to worry and imagine even worse things than that.

Good luck

nm123_2

How old are you and do you live with them?

yorkshire-lad

Thanks for the advice.

Percy I have just seen your thread but waiting till I'm home till I have a read,bit awkward at work lol. And thanks for the hug,seems were in the same boat.

Thanks kat,I'm just a little worried what theyl think of me:(. I've always been the kind of person to deal with my own issues but really think I need others this time.

aitch-aitch

As a parent I would say tell them. They may have already picked up on the fact that you are stressed and may already be worrying but not want to ask you.

Make it clear you are not looking to them for the money and have a plan in place for clearing the debt.

Good luck. You need to sort this before it becomes a bigger issue.

Red_Cat

Mate,
you need to tell someone. If your parents have probs now, if things get worse for you , their problems will only increase.

See if you can talk to someone, you need to releive the stress the debt is causing you. Work on steps to get through, be aware it will take time, but each step no matter how small is in the right direction and will help get you to where you want to be.

Trust your parents, talk to them.

Good luck!

Katie-Kat-Kins

yorkshire-lad wrote: »

Thanks for the advice.

Percy I have just seen your thread but waiting till I'm home till I have a read,bit awkward at work lol. And thanks for the hug,seems were in the same boat.

Thanks kat,I'm just a little worried what theyl think of me:(. I've always been the kind of person to deal with my own issues but really think I need others this time.

They would certainly rather know what is happening and hear it from you, if you refuse to talk they may think that it is more serious, a health issue for example.

They are your parents and will love you just the same irrespective of your debts. Your parents care and want to look after you. They may be disappointed but only because they hope for the best for you. They would prefer you to confide in them so they can support you than for you to stress about it alone.

Please talk to them, I'm sure you will feel better in the end.

yorkshire-lad

thanks for all the replys guys! much appreciated, it really is.

i forgot to mention that they are aware of one loan, as my dad is the gurantor (spelling? lol) on it.

i have had a think and i am going to talk to my aunty first then get together with my parents next week.

i think i need the support. but as always coming here has always helped me:).

i will post abit more of my story after work, finished my lunch now:).

thanks again guys!