how much do you spend on your kids at christmas?

kegg_2

but youseem to think it is instiling wrong values to spend alot at christmas.

Everyones circumstances are different and £500 might be alot to one but not to another. YOu are jusgeing everyones spending on your view point. I dont tell anyone who is only spending a little that they are bringing their kids up to be skin flints so why do you feel people who do the oposite are not instiling good money sense.

mrcow

kegg wrote: »

YOu are jusgeing everyones spending on your view point. I dont tell anyone who is only spending a little that they are bringing their kids up to be skin flints

You can call me a skin flint if you like. I don't mind. I'll take it as a compliment

It's through being a skin flint that I can afford to use our money in different ways than just wasting it on more unnecessary stuff.

It's not about being cheap - it's more to do with being sick and tired over the whole commercialism of it all.

Mind you - perhaps I'm being a bit of a hypocryte now - I have just hung a set of Disneyland tickets on the tree - so my "Christmas" spending has technically just increased - £100 for the five of us includng the ferry crossing (they weren't for Christmas but the kids didn't know anything about it and the tickets have come in time, so I thought it was a nice surprise to open)

Collect memories, not possessions. They'll last longer - and you don't have to dust them!

Kazipoo

tanmu wrote: »

first off, I never said anything about not allowing children to have things. I just don't see how giving them huge piles of stuff is supposed to make them happy long term. All that is doing is teaching them that having and buying things is what makes people happy. And that Christmas is all about consuming. Secondly, it's not even just about teaching them money sense, but about teaching them to appreciate things. How can they appreciate things if they have so much they don't even know what to do with it? Surely at some point things lose their value because mummy and/or daddy will just 'buy me more/a new one/another one'.

As for giving so our kids can be wonderously happy for one day a year....Kids love so much more about Christmas than just mountains of gifts. They love meeting Santa, decorating a tree, making cards, eating sweet treats, being around family, singing carols, opening their advent calendars etc.....lots of things that make Christmas special without the need to get as many presents as possible. And the kind of things that make real, lasting memories. The kind of memories they'll tell their own children when they grow up.

And yes, Christmas is a time for giving. But giving comes in more forms than money.

Ok firstly, someone choosing to spend £300 or more on a laptop, a computer or a console is not a huge pile of gifts, its just one.

Secondly, having and buying stuff does make lots of people happy... it certainly makes me happy, even happier still to be able to give to my kids.

When I was younger, I remember the little things like the stockings etc, but I also remember that my mum and dad were shall we say frugal, and all that taught me is that they were tight.... when all my friends were getting ghettoblasters and tv's or even personal tape players and I got erm, well I can't even remember any present except one, which was paid for by my grandparents and was a brand new bike when I was about 11.

It is unfortunate, but when it comes to Christmas, kids don't think about how much mummy and daddy saved, or how ace are we for making stuff for little Johnny.... think about it from their point of view... back to school, mates all saying "I got a DS", "yeah, well I got a PS3", "Yeah, but I got a laptop!".....and little Johnny pipes up "yeah well I can top the lot of ya, I got a home made quilt!!!" Speaks volumes if you ask me.

When my kids were younger, Christmas or the cost of it, certainly wasn't so important, but now they are all teenagers, and it is important.

I am not saying that your homemade items are rubbish, far from it, most of my extended family have homemade products from me, in the form of wine, sweets and chocolates and I have loved making them (with the kids help) and loved seeing the faces of the recipients, and better still, being asked where I bought the sweets from!!

With regard to appreciation of money. My eldest daughter has just turned 16 in October, and very fashion conscious, however, my sister took her to a high street designer store and told her to pick one thing, anything she wanted up to £100 and my daughter couldn't do it. Instead she pleaded with her auntie to allow her to have a spree in Primark! She ended up spending around £75 and got several outfits, accessories, handbags and scarves. Think my daughter, despite being spoiled at Christmas, is very aware of the value of money!

You are assuming that people who spend money at Christmas are less of a parent than you are. We have traditions, we play family games together, which in fact, is not just limited to Christmas, that happens all year around, we eat, we spend time with friends and family, the absolute only difference between my Christmas and yours is the cost. If I couldn't afford to do it (which I haven't in the past) I wouldn't, or I would save sooner.

aliasojo

mrcow wrote: »

Collect memories, not possessions. They'll last longer - and you don't have to dust them!

After spending nearly a week clearing out our loft......I think I'm going to make that my New Year's Resolution.

pupsicola

I spend about £150 on each of my kids. My youngest has so many toys though that his room is busting at the seems. So this year he has 2 main pressies to open and 3 little cards saying he has been enrolled at tumble tots, jo-jingles singing classes and swimming lessons.

tanmu

Kazipoo I never said anything about spending lots = being less of a parent!!!!!

As for your comment about a quilt, my children are just 6 and 5, they do not need a laptop whether I can afford it or not. They do, however, love snuggling on the sofa of an evening with me and their dad. Quilts, in my case, which have been made with love and care, would mean a lot more than a laptop. Your remark to that effect certainly does speak volumes.


mrcow, you have summed up my point exactly

mrcow

Kazipoo wrote: »

It is unfortunate, but when it comes to Christmas, kids don't think about how much mummy and daddy saved, or how ace are we for making stuff for little Johnny.... think about it from their point of view... back to school, mates all saying "I got a DS", "yeah, well I got a PS3", "Yeah, but I got a laptop!".....and little Johnny pipes up "yeah well I can top the lot of ya, I got a home made quilt!!!" Speaks volumes if you ask me.

This made me laugh a little. I think it depends on the children in question.

Certainly I know of children who won't even go to school in non-matching vest/pants. The parents just completely pander to it. The same kids have gut retching levels of presents to open at Christmas. All of which are asked for - and yes those kids probably would scoff at someone getting a special quilt for Christmas. (They are not particularly nice children to be around a lot of the time so it wouldn't surprse me).

I do also know of quite a few children who wouldn't bat an eyelid about someone getting a special quilt for Christmas. My son is 8, and he for one wouldn't - well unless it had some sort of robot theme - in which case he'd probably bite your arm off for it.

Some children are more quirky than others. Not all kids want a Wii for Christmas. Some want more imaginative presents. Some would like completely bizarre presents (my daughter wants a doll whch has the same coloured hair as her best friend - go figure? ). Some no doubt would like a special homemade quilt and wouldn't feel or be made to feel anything but happy about it.

pupsicola

It has occured to me that I couldn't name one thing my parents bought me for Xmas each year as a child. What I do remember is how the house was decorated, what an effort they went to helping us make Xmas cards and sweets. I remember always posting a letter to santa in the north pole and getting a reply. And our house was always full of family and friends all over Xmas. Even now as an adult in my 30s with my own kids I wouldn't spend Xmas anywhere else but with my mum and dad. That speaks volumes.

Whatever you spend on pressies is up to you, each parent knows their kids best. The most important thing you can spend on them though is your time.

tanmu

pupsicola wrote: »

I spend about £150 on each of my kids. My youngest has so many toys though that his room is busting at the seems. So this year he has 2 main pressies to open and 3 little cards saying he has been enrolled at tumble tots, jo-jingles singing classes and swimming lessons.

great idea with the classes, something with longevity. I'm not opposed to the idea of spending money at all. I am opposed to spending money for the sake of it, and just accumulating stuff thinking that's what makes us happy. Yeah, maybe for a day, a week, a month. But real happiness?

Maybe I'm oversensitive because I work for an NGO and see so many people around the world, who to just get a card from a well wisher at Christmas makes their day. And others who will not have a Christmas at all. I'm not saying we shouldn't enjoy ourselves because there are those who can't, but I'm just fed up of the mass consumerism that takes over at this time of year

Kazipoo

tanmu wrote: »

Kazipoo I never said anything about spending lots = being less of a parent!!!!!

As for your comment about a quilt, my children are just 6 and 5, they do not need a laptop whether I can afford it or not. They do, however, love snuggling on the sofa of an evening with me and their dad. Quilts, in my case, which have been made with love and care, would mean a lot more than a laptop. Your remark to that effect certainly does speak volumes.


mrcow, you have summed up my point exactly

And my daughters like surfing the internet, playing on their consoles, texting their friends.... if I could make any of those items, believe me I would, I'm sure it would be a darned sight cheaper.

And actually you insinuated that by spending more on my children I am not teaching them the value of money.

You also insinuated that by spending less on yours you are instead creating special memories..... so why does spending less create a special memory, surely its about the gift and the thought that goes into it? I know many parents that give children money as a gift.... I would never do that, because its so impersonal, but it doesn't mean I think they are wrong, its just the way they do it.

If perhaps you didn't criticise others for their way of spending/saving over Christmas, you wouldn't be criticised for yours.