not really coping anymore

missk_ensington

Are you sure you've claimed all the Tax credits you're entitled to? Spend an afternoon if you can finding out if you're entitled to anything more, aas someone said you should b entitled to DLA, although when you write the form make sure you highlight HOW it affects your daily life, not WHAT the problem is (A friend of mine nearly died, her kidneys failed and she had to ahve a transplant, after the op she tried to claim DLA but it was declined because the condition wasn't icurring any costs she didn't have before, or changing her life to what it was before).

Perhaps your husband might want a career change altogether and get out of education, if not just for a while? Maybe take up something less stressful on minimum wage just to keep some cash coming in? Or part-time office work, maybe 3 days a week or something?

One step at a time, and I wish you the best of luck!

rkh001

Anniestar

I can't even fathom what you must be going through but hang in there. Lots of support here and you have done so well in the past. You will do it again.

As for counselling support, see if you can get it from your doctor as it won't cost anything. I don't know where you live but I counsel and would gladly do it for free to get you over this horrible period. PM me if you need to know anything. All I can say is do what feels right for you and your hubby. Life has a habit of sh1tting on the good people who do their best to make life better for themselves. You are at a good place here on the board to get max emotional/mental support.
Hugs.

meggie-lizzie

Hi,
Hope both you and hubby are feeling much better. I am/was a teacher who was off work for 15 months due to illness. First diagnosed as work related stress, then after over six months of not improving any they found I was severely hypothyroid. Took a while but I am now ok, and trying to establish my position in education again, I was a middle/senior management but don't was to get back on that roundabout.
Anyway what I was going to say, if your hubby belongs to a teaching union they have benevolent funds, or so I believe. Perhaps it might be worth asking if they are able to help, even if it just pays a little towards the medical expenses, every little helps. I do feel for you in your situation, I was lucky although we lost a huge salary when I gave up work, we have always only relied on my hubby's for living expenses, mine went on cars holidays and extras we can do without.
Keep your spirits up, things do eventually sort themselves out although perhaps not the way we expected, be sure of one thing though, worrying will only make things seem so much worse. Accept the things you can't change and work on what you can. It totally appals me at how many brilliant teachers are abused through overwork causing health problems that have such devastating results upon their lives. Hope thing improve quickly, and you are soon back to feeling more positive.

briona

Hi Annie

Firstly, WELL DONE on everything you've achieved so far – you've cleared loads of debts despite the odds being stacked against you and you CAN continue to do this!

You mention that you had previously been in touch with your creditors and kept them updated on your situation, which is a really good idea. In the first instance here, I would contact them all again and explain the latest turn of events – your story could't help but move people and hopefully the creditors would be willing to freeze the interest or accept reduced payments for say 6 months or so.

Other than that, you could post an [updated] SOA [can't remember offhand whether you've already got one on the board] and everybody here will do their very best to help out and offer advice that sometimes you just can't see for looking!

Re. work for your husband, is there any possibility of him getting some work as an inviligator [seeing as how exam time is coming up] or even marking exams – I'm not sure if you need any particular qualifications for these... perhaps someone in the know could advise???

Meanwhile, chin up – things WILL get better!

Keep visiting this board for support and advice!

Briona xxx

amosworks

I don't know what to say really, it sounds very tough and very unfair. But the sun does always shine on the richeous in the end, so chin up show the world what you're made of
xxx

anniestar

Firstly many many thanks to all who took the tinme to respond to me. I am so grateful to everyone who took the time to respond. Just thought i'd let you know what the current situation is.We were back at eye hosp last Tuesday which turned out to be another epic, blood tests photos and most bizzarley an ultra sound scan or DHs eyes(didn't know such things even existed) we now just wait(again) I went back to my GP who has putme on the waiting list for a refferal to a dermatologist re my VERY intresting skin condition.She said it is almost certainly stress related but as it is getting significantly worse will get it looked at. We have got the DLA forms again but were advised to wait until we have a definitive(if that exists) diagonosis for hubby. Also, we were approached by a reaserch fellow who asked DH to fill in a very detailed booklet regarding his recent medicial history as they are looking to see if this current situation is linked to when he contracted meningitis. I have written a (pretty rubbish to be honest) letter outlining the situation to the companies we still owe money to, but am having to really force myself to do even that its like being back at square one before we started to get clear.My hair is still going south i bought one of those big grip type things and by wearing my hair up it isnt that noticable. I have still been having problems sleeping but having shared things with you all have felt a bit more incontrol although to be honest still feel like im letting everybody (myself, my wonderful hubby and all of you )down. We have currently got exam papers in at the mo and are gearing up for the GCSE's.Hubby has got 2days supply so that is great. On a more positive note ive managed to get a TSB credit card with a 9month intrest free balance period so i have transfered my Capital One balance and shreaded the old card(with its sky high intrest rate) so thats a positive move. Once again a ridiculiously long rambling post. I'M sorry. This site has been such a God send, we dont have any close family or freinds and as i HAVE to stay positive for my husband(who is lovely and really dosen't deserve this) so being able to share with you is a life saver. Thank you really isnt enough but thats all i have at the moment. Thank you. I am going to attempt to PM shortly (i'm a bit rubbish with computers- we got this last year so that we could continue to exam mark) As soon as there are any developments-results of teste full time teaching etc will let you all know. You are so kind and I am SO lucky to be able to have access to your kindness advice and compassion. Again,THANK YOU. Ann XX

Molanole

Annie - hang in there hun. I can't imagine what you and your husband are going through but wanted to offer you my support. Even with the biggest social circle in the world debt can be a very lonely place unless you have someone to confide in. You are always welcome on here to rant and we are always here to lend a shoulder to cry on.

Hang in there hun.

Mumofthreeboys_2

anniestar, I think you're wonderful, I really do. Just wanted to say that!!

Have you been over to the Bank Action Group and have you thought about reclaiming your carges from CCs/bank accounts, etc - you can get them all back?

In_Search_Of_Me

Hi, Just wanted to send a hug. PLEASE stop apologising that you have failed Dh, us etc as you're doing your best - cant do more than that! Not sure from your post if you work at all? May be nice (as well as for dosh!!) to do some work and meet some people locally & this may help you feel less isolated? Really hope that both yours & DH health improves as such a struggle when you're not feeling great...again bug hugs & keep posting - most people here know that awful blind/physically sick panic & are more than happy to support someone in the same situation! Have you sought advice from somelike like CCCS? I found them great when I was struggling & also do see if you're entitled to any benefits...

urban_spirit

Anniestar

You haven't let anyone down. Life throws us some pretty tough things and you are doing your very best in an extremely difficult situation. We're not here to judge you, but to give you lots of hugs and support . I know it feels like hell on earth but you've got us whenever you need us, just post and we'll be there xxxx

Have you tried CCCS (consumer credit counselling service) for help with writing letters that the big finance houses will listen to? If you're backed by CCCS or CAB etc, it holds more weight. My thoughts are with you. Remeber we're here. God bless.:heartpuls