Seriously in debt and really need help!!

tallyhoh

Good Luck Girl!!

RAS

Every journey starts with one step.

That step is often the hardest because we do not believe we can make the journey. But you have made the first step...

You need to ensure that you are safe. Your daughter is living at your father's house. Can you move essential documents and paperwork there? passport, birth cert, marriage cert, driving licence, bank records, even the records of your debts. Consider opening a basic bank account that needs no credit check (so your spouse cannot trace any account). It only need £1 in the short-term.

Do also talk to your in-house debt advisors. They may well be able to refer you to legal advisors who can help you in other ways.

sarahs999

Lise, wishing you all the strenghth you need. You CAN have a life that's worth living again. Go and be with your dad nad your daughter, nad help her to get the support she needs too. You and she have done nothing to deserve this - no human being deserves to live in fear, whatever debt they've run up, whatever has happened to them. Your partner is not the person you knew, and he never will be now. Save your love for the people who desperately need it - like your daughter.

stoocake

I must agree with all of the above...the first step will easily be the hardest, but I bet once you've made it, you'll feel an amazing amount of weight off of your shoulders almost instantly! Never mind the debt, if you're happier day-to-day, then surely that's the point.

You're lucky in that you have family around to turn to, even if they can't be a tremendous amount of help. They are still there for you, and it looks like everyone who's posted so far is full of all the support that us faceless internet people can provide.

Cheers

POSITIVE_AND_FOCUSED

Hi there, just come accross your thread. Am so sorry to hear you are going through a tough time. Im a widow now, but my dh was alcoholic, not violent , just would swear and sleep and not work, and expect me to buy the drink which I did because I loved him and thought that was the only way - before I found AlAnon, the sister help group to AA. Then I fell pregnant and that changed everything. I was not prepared for my /our child to be in such an erratic environment despite my love for my dh, my baby took priority above everything. (As it transpired, my dh met a dreadful end. I wont go into details but hence my widow status.) My point being you need to find your self worth, and your acceptance to realise that you and your dd are worth more than being in this dreadful situation. Seek support from your dad who clearly is aware of how things are. He sounds supportive, seek counselling, you can prob get this for free via your doctors. Most of all start feeling self empowered. You do not need to be in this situation. You would beable to cope on your own, perhaps when /if you leave you and your daughter could live together. It is hard, I know I found my situation unbearable at times, the stress of finding the courage and the answers to know what to do. For me there was AlAnon, seek help yourself from help groups who support those in domestic violence situations.

I wish you well, take heart that there is light at the end of the tunnel - you just need to take that first step toward it.

debtfreenewbie

Please,please get some help....I have been in TWO abusive relationships one control freak and one violent and it is NOT living.....
You can not possibly have the strength to deal with your debts in this situation.
You have to think of you, your daughter is fine but will be much better if she knows you are safe.
Make that appointment with your support team and tell them everything. They just may be the help that you need.
Please keep us updated and remember you are NOT alone......

lise61

Just to keep everyone updated about the debt situation. I took a decisive step today. I spoke to my line manager who is giving me full support and put me in touch with our employee assistance programme. They in turn put me in touch with cccs who are now helping me with the situation and it is a hugh weight of my shoulders. HR have also confirmed that I do not need to worry about my job providing I follow everything to the letter from cccs and eap. As for my marriage - that is another issue and I will be taking legal advice from our union legal team as to where I stand. Thank you everyone for your support it really gave me the strength to start getting my life back on track. To top it all off I spent the morning with my daughter as she was attending a job interview and she got word this afternoon she was offered the job :T

BeautyandtheBeast_3

Well done and fantastic news for your daughter xxxx

keep going xxx

Katy83

Thanks for the update lise, and :j for your daughter getting a job. That is excellent news about about the cccs and your job well done. I hope you manage to have a positive outcome with your union legal and your marriage, life is far far too short to be in that kind of situation. (hugs) x

poppy10_2

lise61 wrote: »

Just to keep everyone updated about the debt situation. I took a decisive step today. I spoke to my line manager who is giving me full support and put me in touch with our employee assistance programme. They in turn put me in touch with cccs who are now helping me with the situation and it is a hugh weight of my shoulders. HR have also confirmed that I do not need to worry about my job providing I follow everything to the letter from cccs and eap. As for my marriage - that is another issue and I will be taking legal advice from our union legal team as to where I stand. Thank you everyone for your support it really gave me the strength to start getting my life back on track. To top it all off I spent the morning with my daughter as she was attending a job interview and she got word this afternoon she was offered the job :T

Well done :T:T:T Glad things are working out better for you :j